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“Alexander would probably always give you the benefit of the doubt, however.”
“And that was just one more reason why she hated me. She thought I got the job because I knew Alexander and not because I was qualified.”
Kayleigh was glad that her mom had gotten over her frustration at her for not stepping in to help Wilder right away. Caren had handled it all perfectly, and they’d gotten the best outcome possible, all things considered.
They didn’t talk too much longer, but her mom made her promise to spend time with the family at some point over the weekend. Right then, Kayleigh didn’t want to commit to any socialization because she was exhausted, so the best she could do was say that she’d try. Thankfully, her mom understood and didn’t press.
It wasn’t until she was under her covers a short time later that the emotions of the day swept over her. Now that she was alone in the dark of her room, she let the tears flow, knowing she needed the release, and that they’d be cathartic in the end.
The darkness of the night felt as heavy as her emotions in that moment.
She felt isolated… alone… and wondering how she was supposed to continue on in her life and in her job.
The confidence she’d tried to project when surrounded by her family and the people at work faded away, making her question her ability to be a good sister, a good daughter, a good boss… a good friend.
Kayleigh hadn’t wanted what Liz said to undermine her confidence, but it was happening regardless. And her parents’ reaction to how she was handling things with Wilder’s situation had been difficult to accept without feeling like she’d failed them.
The vulnerabilities that came from not wanting to disappoint people didn’t often flare up, mainly because she worked hard tonotdisappoint anyone. Her heart now hurt from all of that.
However, on top of it all was also Hudson’s reaction to her desire to give Jenn a second chance. It had starkly revealed the differences in their lives. The differences that meant she couldn’t look forward to anything beyond a friendship with him.
Kayleigh wished she could call him up and share how she was struggling. Her heart told her that he’d understand, and that he’d support her. But she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t open herself up to him even more than she already had.
The feelings she had for Hudson were deeper than any she’d had for a man before, but the futility of them weighed heavily on her along with everything else.
Kayleigh knew she needed to rise above everything so that she could continue to function, but that would have to come in the light of day.
She had to trust that God would be there to lift her up and give her the strength to carry on. But it was hard. It was what she was supposed to do, but her heart struggled to believe that the next day would be any different.
In the dark of night, she didn’t even try to keep her head above the swirling maelstrom of emotions, allowing the tears to fall as pain filled her heart.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The gym was still dark when Hudson arrived the next morning, and for a moment, he wondered if perhaps Kayleigh had decided not to come. The previous day had been a long one, and it was possible she decided to sleep in and try to recover. He wouldn’t blame her at all for that.
However, it was only a couple of minutes later that she appeared, carrying a small duffle bag. He thought she’d be more relaxed after the situation with Wilder had been resolved, but that didn’t appear to be the case.
The smile she gave him was small, and even though he’d seen her without makeup before, this was the first time she’d looked so worn out.
“Hey,” he said. “How are you this morning?”
“A bit tired, but otherwise…” She shrugged. “How are you?”
“I’m good.” He’d slept pretty well the night before, and now that he’d seen her, his day was off to a good start. Though he felt a bit guilty that he’d apparently had a more restful night than she had.
“I’m just going to put my stuff in the changing room,” she said. “I’ll be right back.”
Hudson watched her go, then stepped onto one of the treadmills. He started it off super slow, more of a saunter than a walk.
Soon, Kayleigh reappeared, dressed in her usual workout attire. She climbed up onto the treadmill next to his and turned it on.
“Do you have big plans for the day?” he asked as they walked.
“Main plan is to get caught up on the stuff I didn’t get done yesterday because of everything else that transpired.”
“Hopefully things will be calmer today,” Hudson said. “I’ve got a bit of catching up to do as well.”
“Things just need to chill and give us time to recover. Yesterday was crazy.”
