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“Do,” Alex warned her. “These men are hardened veterans from their attempts at destroying the Chechen rebels. They hate those who are not like them. They always took revenge when the Chechen’s would attack on Russian soil.”
“So, Petrov is the leader of Vlad’s old group,” Lauren murmured, thinking as she ate. “How many men did you see at that hotel?”
“There are five. It is a small group.” He shrugged. “Small means they are far more mobile, logistically. They don’t have to worry about finding enough food or water for a lot of men, things that slow larger groups down.”
“When you were with Vlad, there were twenty of you. Right?”
“Yes.”
Lauren looked at him. “I don’t know how you were able to handle it, Alex. I really don’t.” She saw his face go expressionless, but his hazel eyes betrayed raw, unspoken emotions.
“I have done things in the Russian mafia I am not proud of, Lauren. I am not a good man any longer. My hands are stained with the blood of people who did not deserve to be murdered,” and he scowled, breaking eye contact with her.
“At heart,” Lauren said quietly, “you are a healer, like your sister Kira. She’s a nurse. You’re a combat medic.” She watched as Alex seemed to flinch, his gaze on his plate, hands stilled over it, his mouth tight.
“I wish,” he rasped, forcing himself to hold Lauren’s sympathetic gaze again, “that I was the hero you make me out to be. But I am not.” He didn’t deserve someone like her, even if she wanted him. And he knew she didn’t, for obvious reasons. So why did she look so heartbroken when he’d said that? Alex couldn’t figure out her reaction.
“You told me yesterday you tried to help those women who the Russians raped. You and Nik tried to stop them.”
Alex gave a one-shouldered shrug, cleaning up what was left on his plate. “I tried. So did Nik. After Kira was raped, I understood what it did to a woman. I found myself sickened, I should have done more.”
“What?” Lauren demanded, “and get killed by trying to stop Vlad and his men? You were there to make money to help Kira with. It wasn’t your fault those men did what they did.”
Alex stared hard at her. “I did not stop them. Therefore, I am complicit.”
“Short of putting a bullet into each of their heads, what could you have done?” Lauren replied, frowning. “And that was impossible because they’d have turned around and killed you and Nik. You weren’t the leader. It would be different if you had been, and hadn’t ordered them to stop. But Vlad was in charge, Alex. You did the best you could.”
“I have thought about this hundreds of times,” Alex admitted. Getting up, he took his now empty plate and flatware and set them in the sink. Pouring himself more coffee he came back and sat down. “My parents raised me to know right from wrong, Lauren.”
“War has no morality, and you know that,” Lauren argued quietly. “NOTHING is fair in war, Alex. Especially in a combat situation. You and I both know that from personal experience.”
“It does not relieve me of the guilt I carry. It is mine to carry. I had choice. A woman suffers the rest of her life because of the choice I made. These are the facts.”
Alex was too hard on himself. Lauren kept that thought to herself. She picked up a piece of toast and took a bite on it. Alex had already demolished five other slices. He’d worked hard last night, burning up a lot of calories, the adrenaline making him even hungrier. “That’s not the man I see right now. The man I know,” she said, giving him a challenging stare.
“I worry about you,” he admitted. Gesturing, Alex said, “Those men, Petrov and his second-in-command, Tamryn Volkov, are rapists. If they ever captured you…” and he shook his head.
“I’m not going to get captured.”
“I’d kill them if they EVER tried to lay a hand on you.”
Startled by the powerful emotions in his voice, Lauren felt shaken. “We’re on a sniper op, Alex. It’s called being unseen and undetected. It’s what I do best. I’ve never been compromised in all my years of doing this kind of work.”
“Yes, but you do not know Peruvian jungle. It is impossible to move through some portions of it. The position you must choose to shoot from will be challenging to find. It leaves you vulnerable and open to being seen. Perhaps, caught.” And Alex would give his life, in a heartbeat, if that happened because these soldiers he knew too well. They were depraved and sub-human. They had no morals, integrity or values, stripping them of their humanity. Women were routinely taken and raped without any afterthought. Petrov and Volkov cared nothing for how a woman felt or, worse, how it would stain her for the rest of her life.
“I’m not going to be caught,” Lauren gritted out. “So, let’s just get off the topic, okay?”
Nodding, Alex said, “Tamryn Volkov is second in command to Petrov. He is a blond-haired man. Women consider him to be good looking. I fought with both these men. I saw them lose their hearts, their souls. Now, they are monsters. And we need to eliminate BOTH of them, not just Petrov.”
“You need to talk to Hunter about that. He’ll make that decision.”
Alex knew that orders came down from Hunter, and the Department of Defense. He was sure he could persuade his new boss to allow Lauren to take out both men. With Lauren, he was carefully watching his words to describe Petrov and Volkov. Hunter, a man, would want the raw, unvarnished version and Alex intended to lay it out in no uncertain terms to him as to why these two Russians needed to be removed. The world would be far better off without them.
“I will call him now,” Alex told her, picking up his coffee mug as he stood.
“The sat phone is on my dresser,” she told him. Alex was upset. He had his game face on once again but, for whatever reason, Lauren still sensed his feelings. There was a hatred in him when he spoke about his former comrades. A small shiver went through her. Soon, those men would be back on the hunt once they left for the jungle again. Lauren watched Alex head down the hall. The kitchen felt empty without his vital presence.
Mulling over his reactions, the guilt he carried, Lauren wished she could just hold him and make this mission go away. Alex was a good person, caught in a terrible vise. War destroyed a person’s humanity. She rubbed her face wearily, hating men like these Russians. For her, it would be a righteous kill: eradicating evil off the face of this earth. Protecting innocent women and children from their kind. She hoped that Gage sent down permission to take both of them out.
