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Cal wore jeans his hiking boots, and a red polo shirt. “We got food in for you like you asked,” he told Alex.
“Thank you,” Alex said, holding the chair steady for Lauren.
She slowly turned and sat down very carefully. Two weeks’ worth of healing on her ribs had taught her through lessons of pain: how to walk, how to sit and how to lay in bed. She hated it, but didn’t let it show to her friends. “Thanks, guys, for getting us food.”
While Sky and Cal sat down in other chairs to chat with Lauren, Alex brought in her heavy canvas military duffle bag. Later, he planned to take it to Shield and stow it in her locker. Her small suitcase sat beside it. Lauren looked pale. She’d tried to do too much, pride making poor choices for her. But he couldn’t blame her. She’d hated every minute of being in the hospital. One of Cal’s teams, ST3, had gifted them an apartment because the SEAL it was assigned to was currently out on deployment. Alex had seen a huge and positive change in Lauren’s attitude after that move. Those two weeks were no longer an incarceration for her. Staying at the condo was a newfound freedom. Even better, it was on a ground floor with a small yard filled with colorful flowers, blooming bushes and shade trees. She often sat outside, enjoying the view that overlooked the nearby bay. The sound of water lapping, in his opinion, was always healing to a person. Plus, the salt air was invigorating to the body’s oxygen system in general.
“What else can we do for you?” Sky asked. “Are you thirsty? I brought some of my sun tea with me. There’s a gallon of it in your fridge.”
“Or,” Cal asked, “are you hungry?”
Lauren smiled wearily. “No… not really. Thank you for meeting us. It’s so good to see both of you.” She hadn’t thought she’d ever see her best friends again. Or see Alex. Her heart wrenched. Lauren wanted to cry so badly, but if she did, the pain would be overwhelming, so she kept stuffing her feelings down deep inside herself. “How’s the baby girl coming along?” she asked. Sky was now five-months pregnant. Lauren saw her friend smile softly, her hand automatically smoothing gently across her swelling belly.
“No more morning sickness,” Sky said, rolling her eyes. “Thank goodness for small favors.”
Alex wandered into the kitchen, looking around as the three of them chatted in the living room. He’d never been in Lauren’s home. It was stark. Without life. It was as if someone stopped by here every once in a while, but didn’t really live here. He moved his hand across the gray granite counter, frowning. Lauren’s whole life was tied up in being a private contractor for hire. As he wandered down the carpeted hall, he saw no photos of friends or family on the walls. He pushed a door open; it was her bedroom. Alex stopped, shocked. The bed was an antique metal-frame Army cot! Some olive-green military blankets and a lumpy pillow were piled on it, unmade. He quietly shut the door, peeking into the bathroom. There was a tub with a shower, the bathroom itself quite large and roomy. It too, was sterile-looking. There was another room and he saw it contained a lot of unopened boxes and a desk with a computer on it. It looked as if Lauren were either unpacking to stay, or packing to leave again. Alex knew a home always mirrored its occupant. Disturbed by what he saw, he began to realize that Lauren’s life was very narrowly defined and focused. Her home told him that she had no apparent hobbies, and no close connections to others, except for Cal and Sky. And himself. This place that she lived in, was dead. There was no personality expressed here. No life to it. Lauren had not put her stamp on it. Made it her own. He felt pain in his heart for her. Being abandoned so young, she had never had a nest or place that felt safe to her. Or that she could honestly just relax in and let her hair down. She was living half a life, if that, Alex thought, anguished.
When he returned to the living room, he could see Lauren was becoming weary. Cal looked up and Alex nodded toward the door, a silent request.
“Hey,” Cal murmured, standing, “you’re looking like you need to rest, Lauren. Sky and I were just passing through. We’ll keep in touch by cell or Zoom? Or maybe I’ll see you over at Shield in a week or two?”
“Yes, sometime…” Lauren said.
Sky walked over and touched her shoulder, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “You can also, if you want, come up and stay with us. You always have a guest room. You know that, right?”
“Thanks,” she answered, giving Sky a grateful smile.
Cal opened the door. “Let’s stay in touch,” he told her. He lifted his hand and nodded toward Alex.
“Bye,” Lauren called.
The door closed. Lauren sank wearily against the chair, closing her eyes. She felt Alex come around and she looked up at him. He was crouched beside her chair. She liked the cream-colored shirt he wore, bringing out the green, sienna and gold in his eyes as he silently appraised her. And he always looked good in those Levi’s, showing off his spectacularly long, hard legs.
Alex reached out and curled her left hand into his palm, resting it against her left thigh. “I have an idea I want to fly past you,” he said quietly, searching her darkening eyes. Lauren needed to be held. And, God knew, he wanted to do it. And hadn’t been able to. Yet.
He watched her rally herself into her response, “What?”
“Would you be upset if I asked you to stay at my cabin instead of staying here?” He saw Lauren frown, considering his request.
“Why? Don’t you like my place?”
The corner of his mouth curved faintly. “I feel in my heart, Lauren, you would be happier at my place right now.”
“Because?”
“I have all my medical equipment over there, and pain drugs if you need them.” Alex shrugged, trying to not broadcast how much he wanted her to leave this dead-zone. “And,” he teased, “I have my own pots and pans, too. I can cook for you. I wanted to make you some good, hearty Ukrainian meals my grandmother taught me to make as I was growing up.” He squeezed her hand. “It means a great deal to me if you’d like to join me. I know you are tired. If you do not want to, I am fine with you staying here, too.” Because he didn’t want to push her. He could feel how emotional Lauren was becoming. She hadn’t quite broken down yet from the trauma she’d experienced. “I want you happy, Lauren,” and Alex searched her weary gaze. They had lived in that SEAL condo for nearly two weeks together. Separate bedrooms because he couldn’t hold Lauren due to her rib injuries. But, at least they were together and she seemed happy having him underfoot.
“Okay,” Lauren whispered, her voice unsteady. Giving him a glance, she nodded. “I guess I’m just really tired… my mind is fuzzy… I’m not thinking clearly, Alex.”
He caressed her cheek. “You are still coming off that shock cliff,” he murmured. “Let me pack our things into my SUV. I want you to stay here and rest while I do it,” and he rose.
Lauren felt her eyes begin to burn. Tears! Dammit! She could NOT cry! Looking around her quiet bungalow, it didn’t feel like it had to her before her brush with death. It no longer made her feel partially safe from that monster outside world that always threatened her. Only Alex made her feel safe. And, when Cal had mentioned to her about going back to Shield, her gut had knotted and fear had threaded through her like a poison. Lauren didn’t know what was going on within her or her emotions. Or why. The one thing her heart needed… thatsheneeded, was Alex. He was theonlyoasis of peace she had found a haven within after being shot twice. And the idea of going over to his home strongly appealed to her. She didn’t know why, but was glad that he’d suggested it. So, they went.
Lauren almost gasped with wonder as Alex led her into his single-story home. It was a cedar cabin at the edge of a clearing, thirty miles from Alexandria. There were evergreens, white-bark Aspen with dancing leaves, surrounding it. She saw a small lake nearby. As she walked slowly across the creaking cedar floor it felt so homey, embracing her, and that fed her, making her feel emotionally stronger. Much like Cal and Sky’s place; it was filled with life, with green plants here and there, and framed family photos on the walls. The couch was huge, overstuffed, with a small, colorful quilt hung across the back of it. There were two old-fashioned rockers with plump pillows on their seats and backs. A large gold and red cedar coffee table had lots of bright red, orange and yellow pillows set on the floor around it; as if people sat there and ate, or played a board game with one another.
The house smelled good. Fresh. Unlike hers. She halted, absorbing the quiet of his home, seeing that the living room and kitchen were connected to one another.
“Well?” Alex asked, sliding his arm gently around her waist, but not pulling her against him, “how does it feel to you?”
