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“It is. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about them or what happens to them.”
“I understand.”
“I know I must seem gruff and uncaring at times, but it seems as if I’ve been living with fog surrounding my brain for months.” He didn’t wait for her to speak and continued. “Somehow, you’ve woken me up, and I want to be with my children more. Everything is clean now, and I’m not as stressed as I was before you arrived. You’ve made my life and the lives of the children better by being here.”
“Thank you,” Jessica said softly.
He stopped walking and turned to her. He hadn’t thought about needing a sexual companion since before Heather’s death, but he really looked at her for a moment. She was the prettiest woman he’d seen in a long time.
He leaned down and quickly brushed his lips across hers, waiting to see how she’d react.
Jessica felt that this may be her only chance to be close to her new husband, and she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back, losing herself in the passion of his touch.
Neither of them said anything else as they stood, kissing, and then their clothes fell to the ground. There, under the full September moon, they became one.
When it was over, Jessica felt happy that her new husband was finally accepting her as his wife. He said nothing as he rolled to her side and stared up at the moon. Finally, he started gathering clothing. He dressed quickly, and dropped her clothes on her, still not saying a word.
They walked back to the house, though he no longer sought to hold her hand. When they were again in the parlor, he said, “That shouldn’t have happened. I won’t touch you again.” With those words, he turned and climbed the stairs, going to his room, leaving her standing in the middle of the house, tears flowing down her cheeks.
For a short while, she’d actually believed there could be more to their relationship than just her taking care of the children, but that was obviously a mistake on her part. He had no desire to be her husband. Once again, he was making a mockery of their marriage.
Jessica slept little that night. She tossed and turned, and George’s rejection of her haunted the little sleep she did get.
She rose early, and made eggs, biscuits and sausage gravy for their breakfast. She carefully put together the little crates she’d made for all of the sisters who were helping her with food, and one more for George’s mother. She was surprised she hadn’t seen a bit more of her mother-in-law, but she was certain the older woman had things to catch up on at home after spending so much time with her grandchildren.
The crates were ready before anyone descended the stairs for breakfast. She was pleased with how they looked, but the back of her mind wouldn’t stop thinking about George and the way he’d made love with her, just to tell her it could never happen again when he was finished.
Her mother had talked to her about men’s needs, and she had no doubt she’d simply been a warm body to spend his seed in.
George was the first to come down the stairs but said nothing as he went outside to milk the cows. She didn’t know if he had help on the weekends, but she didn’t ask. What difference did it make? He cared nothing about her, so she should care nothing about him.
But she did. She had no idea why, but she definitely did.
After breakfast, there was time to do the dishes before Nancy dashed upstairs to put her new dress on. Jessica also changed into the dress she’d made for her wedding to George that she hadn’t been allowed to change into. But she felt pretty when she was ready in her new lavender dress.
She changed the baby into a pretty little dress. Thankfully, the baby had plenty of clothes that had belonged to her older sister. There was no need to begin sewing for her immediately.
Once everyone was ready in their church clothes, Jessica carried the baskets she’d made out to the wagon. There were eight, and one of them had extra jam in it. That one was for Mary Sue because of all the time she’d spent trying to make Jessica’s transition smooth.
All of the children sat in the back of the wagon amid the crates except for Sally of course. She rode on Jessica’s lap. Jessica wasn’t sure how she was going to feel being introduced to so many new people on so little sleep, but she knew she had to make an effort. She couldn’t very well announce that her new husband had hurt her feelings, so she hadn’t slept enough to be civil.
Mary Sue spent all of the time before the sermon introducing Jessica to her new sisters. Each one told her of food they had in her wagon for their family. None of the others had children as young as George’s, but some still had older children at home.
The sermon was about love. A man’s love for his wife and children, to be exact. Jessica felt George prickling beside her, and she wanted to lean into him to remind him that she was the wife he was supposed to love. Of course, she didn’t because that would seem as if she was desperate for his love. Desperate or not, he would never know how she felt.
After the service was over, the other Fleming women brought all different kinds of vegetables to George’s wagon. Each time a woman gave her a basket full of produce, she gave them the crate with bread and jam. It felt good not to just be taking from the others and have something to share in return.
Even though Mother Fleming didn’t have anything for her, Jessica happily gave a crate to the older woman. “Thank you for taking care of the children until I arrived.”
Mother Fleming looked shocked by the gesture. “They’re my grandchildren,” she said.
“I know they are, but it was still a lot of work, and George and I appreciate all you’ve done for us.”
“You’re welcome,” Mother Fleming finally said.
Once all of the other crates had been given away, Jessica took the crate for Mary Sue and gave it to the other woman. “You get more jam than anyone else because you’ve been so kind.”
Mary Sue hugged Jessica. “Thank you. You know I love your cooking.”
