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He kissed her hard and deep, his tongue licking along the seam of her lips. She parted them, panting. The kiss went wild, desire like he’d never known flowing through him. Even when January rocked her hips against him, bumping up against his hard cock, she wasn’t close enough. Her hands clawed at his shoulders like he wasn’t close enough for her either.
He picked her up and set her on the countertop. A cannister went sliding sideways, a mug careened towards the sink. Thankfully, it didn’t clatter in and nothing broke.
She moaned against his lips, rocking into him again, dragging him closer as she nipped his bottom lip. “Please,” she whispered. “I need you, Tavish.”
Hearing her beg was too much. He couldn’t keep her in the kitchen. He swept her back up and turned around, stepping on the fork she’d dropped so that it flung up under his boot. He let out a deep laugh before she recaptured his mouth, kissing him so passionately and fervently it was like they wouldn’t have another chance. It was like he’d said. Like all they had was now and he was living for this moment. He was so aware of the taste of her, the softness and sweetness. She was tight against him, the hard bulge in his jeans cradled between her thighs.
He made it as far as the hallway before January’s sweet lips, her intoxicating kiss, the way her tongue swept into his mouth, boldly tasting and memorizing him, made his head go wonky. His balance went off and he half bumped into the wall and half used it to support them both. He propped January up there with her back to keep her safe and he tightened his hold on her, making sure she didn’t slip down or fall.
“I want to feel you,” she panted against his lips. Her hands changed position, shifting and roving up under his t-shirt. He was glad that it was just the t-shirt separating them, but as her hands swept under the fabric, he only thought of it as a barrier between them.
He raised his arms and pulled it away. Her hands immediately took over, exploring his muscles. She sighed as her fingertips traced veins, a few hairs, as they mapped out by feel every inch of his chest and shoulders.
She kissed him again, even more desperate this time. He thought about how he hadn’t shaved since that morning and his face must be rough, but January sighed against him like she loved it. He kissed her thoroughly while he leaned into her touch. She flattened her palms against his chest and learned his body with her fingers.
He wanted to learn her body too. He wanted to trace her with his fingertips, with his palms. He wanted to memorize her softness, her curves, every inch of beauty with his tongue, take her in with his eyes. He wanted to burn her into every one of his senses so that she’d be seared there when she left, impossible to forget. Even if he lost the knowledge of his own name, he wanted to remember every detail of her.
As if she could read his thoughts, she dropped her hands away and found one of his. She arched into him and away from the wall so he could remove her sweater. It was soft, like it was made of clouds and held together by the same spun sugar that he tasted on her lips.
“Are you sure?” He’d never wanted anything so badly in his life as he wanted her.
“Yes. I’m more than sure. I want you.”
“But if we do this, it could have consequences.” He figured she wasn’t just talking about being kissed up against the wall of his hallway. That if she wanted her shirt off and his hands on her body, she’d want more. He wanted more. He wanted all of it. He wanted to have her and taste her and pleasure her all night. There was no end to his want. He wanted her to stay, but if she didn’t want to, then he wanted her to be happy and fulfilled. He wanted her on her terms, when the time was right. He was well aware that this kiss might have to sustain him for a lifetime, but still, he had to make sure she understood what could happen.
“I know,” she whispered, her hand squeezing his. “I understand that we need to be responsible. I’m on the pill. I’ve been on the pill for years. I…” She trailed off and he saw a flicker of pain in her eyes that made him want to tear down the world and roar. The bear thrashed in his skin,awareright below the surface. It was in no danger of bursting out, but it didn’t like that pain. All of him wanted to protect her. “I don’t think pregnancy is an option for me even if I’m not on the pill. There won’t be anything unexpected.” She laughed nervously. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I’m asking you to do this or that I’m saying this. I don’t… I’ve never done anything like this.”
“Anything like this?”
“I know that I’m not staying. I don’t know that I’m going to stay away. Not a one-night stand. That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know. I mean, we hardly know each other. Maybe that’s what I mean. I’m usually so careful. So slow going. I didn’t think I wanted this. I thought it would be way too soon.”
“We can definitely stop.”
“No!” She palmed his face with both hands and stared urgently into his eyes. “No, Tavish. That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to stop. I want you more than anything. I feel like if I don’t have you, there’s a good chance that I’ll die. It sounds so melodramatic, but—”
He kissed the words off her lips, grasped her around the waist, and easily carried her into his bedroom. “It’s not melodramatic at all,” he whispered, laying her down on top of the patchwork flannel quilt on his bed. “I feel the same thing.”
They were connected. They’d had that instant awareness of each other from the first time they met. It made sense that he’d share her feelings and understand perfectly what she was talking about. Even if he didn’t understand everything or share everything, he did get this.
He’d never wanted anyone like he wanted her. There would be no one for him ever again. If he didn’t have her, he felt like he would die slowly and surely, until there was nothing left of him at all.
Chapter 14
January
“I’ve thought about you every single day since I met you,” Tavish said as he knelt on the floor in front of her.
She propped herself up on her elbows, and then sat up. They both wanted the same thing, but he was waiting for her. Not just to say it, but to make utterly sure that she was okay with this. He didn’t tear her clothes off and immediately ravish her as soon as she’d given her consent.
She was overheated, wearing too many layers, and eager as heck to get her clothes off. She stripped her sweater away, then her tank top. It took her no more than a few seconds to wriggle out of her jeans. She wasn’t a lace and push up kind of girl, and she’d worn a soft, comfy white sports bra and a set of matching boxer-type panties. None of it was sexy or enticing.
Tavish’s lips parted and he stared at her in awe.
“I’ve thought about you just about every minute of every single day since we met.” There was no sexy way to take off a sports bra that didn’t have a clasp in the back, but this wasn’t one of those breath hindering contraptions. It came off pretty easily, if not sexily.
