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“I think you were about to shift.”
“What?” She should have gotten a handle on this already. “Onyx. Misty.” God, what about her daughters? Were they safe?
“They’re okay. It’s okay. The bear wouldn’t hurt them. There’s no one in that room that would be shocked to find a shifter turned into a bear, even in the middle of the town hall.”
“Jesus Christ, Kier. Yes, they’d be shocked.”
“No. It happens.”
“I’m not a new shifter. I could have hurt people. I could have destroyed everything. The bear only comes out like that when it feels threatened. As a protective mechanism.”
“That might be true most of the time, but not always. I don’t think your bear would hurt anyone. I know your bear. My bear knows your bear. I trust her.”
“I should have practiced before now. I was too scared. I was avoiding this and now look what’s happened. I’ve ruined Misty’s party.”
“You haven’t. She’s still in there celebrating. Sam or Lily have told her already that we needed to step out for a second, or maybe a few minutes. All that happened was you started swaying and went a little pale. You looked like you were going to pass out. It was hot in there, crowded. I thought you just needed some air. As I was walking out, I told Sam I’d be a few minutes. He told me to take all the time I needed. Misty is with all the other kids and Onyx is getting loved by every single person there. They’re all taking turns. Our children are fine. You don’t have to worry.”
“This is just the worst.” She buried her face in his shoulder and hung on tightly to his neck. “I can’t control it. I have zero control over anything lately. It’s too overwhelming. I don’t know if I can do this. I know that I have to, that I have to be strong. I have two girls who are depending on me. My family needs me to be okay. You need your mate back. It’s so freaking much.”
“Breathe, Tay. Just take a few deep breaths.”
“That’s not going to help anything.” But when Kier’s chest rose and fell, she echoed the movement. She did it again, slowing things down. That air getting to the bottom of her lungs, so fresh and cool, felt good. Remarkably good. She inhaled again and again, and each time it felt like her chest expanded a little bit more and some of that pressure building up inside her was released.
“I need to get a handle on this,” she whispered past her raw, scratchy throat. “If I’d gone full on berserk in there, it wouldn’t have been good.”
“You wouldn’t have. There are a ton of mature shifters in there. We would have handled it. Taken you outside or helped you shift back. The bear isn’t unreasonable. You had no reason to be afraid in there. I think she just wants to come out. It’s been a while. She’s part of you and she’s been pretty caged in. She’s not trying to fight back, she’s just asking to be seen and heard.”
“Are you—aren’t you afraid?”
His voice was warm and deep right next to her ear. “Not at all. Not of you. Not of your bear.”
She was still hanging on tight to Kier’s neck. Too tight. Her nails were digging in at the back. It had to hurt, but he made no sound of complaint. “Help me,” she whispered, begging.
There was zero hesitation. “Anything you need.”
“I need you. I need you to help me shift. Help me with the bear. I need your bear. I need us the way we used to run together.”
“You remember?” He was startled and hopeful.
It hurt to stick pins into that bubble of elation. “No. You told me when I woke up.”
“Right. Yes, I did. I want you to remember. Not those times, not if you can’t, but the times that we’re going to create. We’ll make time. I’ll ask someone to watch the girls and we’ll go out, tonight if you want.”
“It’s not safe. There’s that guy out there.”
“It’s safe. We have guards. The whole area is more than secured.”
“I don’t want anyone around. What if I’m embarrassing. What if I fail? What if I can’t shift back? What if things get out of control? What if I hurt you?”
“Not possible.” His warmth seeped into her. Where she was overheated just a few seconds ago, she was cold now in the chilly mist and wind and she welcomed that heat of his body. “I’ll make sure it’s private. We can do it here. You and Onyx are staying the night with me, so I know who’s going to be doing guard duty for every single hour. I’ll ask them to make sure the area we’re in is secure, but not to intrude.”
“Can they do that?”
“Absolutely. I know you’re uncomfortable and we don’t need added pressure, so I’ll make sure no one comes along. The cameras are pointed out at the perimeter of our land, not inward. Any of them in the woods, I’ll make sure they’re temporarily turned off where we are.”
“Sam won’t allow that. It’s a big risk.”
“We used to walk the whole perimeter of our land every night. I know you don’t remember and you haven’t done any guard duty since your accident, but we could handle it all. We didn’t need so many guards because we had good senses. We’d know if something was off. No one is going to sneak up on us. No threats and no friends. It’ll be just us out there.”
