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I give her a stiff nod, resisting the urge to pull out the sunflower pendant hanging from my neck under my running shirt.
“Is everything okay? You don’t have to stay if you’re going to be late … or if you’re uncomfortable.”
The kindness in her voice breaks me.
“My mother loved sunflowers—they were her favorite, actually. She died from cancer over a decade ago, but they always remind me of her.” My voice comes out rough from me talking around the lump in my throat.
She lays a hand on my knee, giving me a look with such intense sincerity that the backs of my eyes burn. I haven’t cried over my mom in–never. The thought hits me like a baseball bat to the stomach. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way before. Something in the way Juliette’s looking at me makes me feel like she understands exactly how I’m feeling and wouldn’t judge me if a tear slipped out.
“I’m sorry, Adrian. Grief is a terrible thing. It can hit you out of nowhere and steal your breath. Do you want me to get a different cup?”
I shake my head. “No, it’s fine. It’s a good reminder of her, it just caught me off guard.” I blink a few times, clearing away the feeling of oncoming tears. “Thank you.”
She gives me a gentle smile, removing the warmth of her hand to spoon sugar into one of the cups. I miss her touch as soon as it’s gone.
“Of course. If you ever want to talk about her, I’m always here to listen. That’s what friends do.”
Friends. Right.I swallow down the remaining emotion and pour cream into my tea. There’s no reason for me to want anything different with Juliette, but sitting here in her house that feels more like a home than my own makes me question my own reservations. It makes me want to get to know her more.
“What about you?” I ask.
“Hm?”
“Is there anything special that reminds you of your family?”
She tenses up for a moment, but then forces a smile.
“Not really, we’re not very close. We should start drinking our tea though before it turns into iced tea.” She lets out a nervous laugh.
I watch her tuck her feet under herself before grabbing her tea and taking a sip. She looks innocent, but the way she observes people isn’t natural. And now she’s being purposefully vague about a simple topic. Something isn’t adding up and I worked in the world of secrets for too long not to notice it.
Chapter sixteen
Juliette Monroe
“Thisisaterribleidea.” My stomach lurches as I click the bright pinksubmitbutton at the bottom of the web page. “I can’t believe I just did that.”
“You are a rockstar!” Caroline cheers through my phone screen, doing a terrible celebration dance in her kitchen. She likes to call while cooking or cleaning or folding laundry, setting me on a stand so her hands are free. It’s her way of feeling like I’m there with her in real-time.
“I am pathetic. A Valentine’s Day singles' event is for pathetic people, Care.” I lay my head on my desk with a groan. “I’m going to be sick.”
Caroline found a few different singles’ events in the city around Valentine’s Day and after a week of hounding me, she finally convinced me to sign up for the least sleazy-sounding one. It’s in a hotel ballroom, which already gives me hives just thinking about the awful guys who are likely to buy a room hoping to bring some lonely girl back to it.
“You are not pathetic. You are a beautiful woman making the decision to break out of her shell. I’m so proud of you.”
“What if all of the guys are creeps like Kyle?” I lift my head as anxiety shoots down my spine. “What ifKyleis there?”
“Then you can leave. This isn’t about the event itself, it’s about putting yourself out there. You can do this. I believe in you.”
“I’m glad one of us does,” I mumble. “I wanted to sit on my couch and eat too much salted caramel gelato while watchingEmmaon my laptop.”
“You can do that any day of the week. Tomorrow you’re going to wear a hot dress, those heels I bought you for your birthday, and you’re going to flirt your cute little tush off.”
I rub my eyes, wondering if maybe this is all a nightmare and I’ll wake up tomorrow, safe and alone in my little cottage. My best friend waits patiently, folding dish towels in silence.
“Okay, I’ll see if Poppy will watch Murphy for the evening and I’ll go. Maybe it won’t be terrible.”
“There’s my optimistic ray of sunshine,” Caroline says with her sarcastic flair.
