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He’s taken care of me both physically and emotionally, so being here for him while he’s grieving is the least I can do.
“You can talk, you know,” Adrian says, startling me with the sudden break in silence.
“I didn’t want to bother you. I figured you wanted the silence.”
His grip tightens on the steering wheel, then loosens again. I take in his tense shoulders and jaw, wishing I could help him relax. He’s not been very open about how he grieves, so I’m not sure what to do.
“I’m not sure what I want, if I’m honest.” He sighs and pushes a hand through his hair. “I haven’t let myself grieve much.”
The admission hangs in the air between us. It makes sense now why he’s not voiced what he wants today. He doesn’t actually know.
“That’s okay. We can just be. And if you decide you want to talk or cry or turn the car around and go home, I’ll be with you.”
A small smile stretches across his lips. He reaches a hand out and rests it above my knee, drawing slow circles with his thumb.
“Thanks, Jules.” His shoulders seem to relax a little. “Could you tell me about your day?”
“Sure,” I say with a smile and then begin to tell him about my mundane work day. I don’t leave any details out, telling him about every order I fulfilled and the new digital products I’m working on.
Soon enough, we’re pulling through a gate armed with security, up to a house made entirely of glass. I knew MJ and Sebastian had to be well off since Sebastian is the coach of the Georgia Thrashers, the wealthiest football program in the state–yes, I googled him–but their house shows just how rich they really are.
We pull up behind a collection of beautiful vehicles and I try not to gape as I walk hand-in-hand with Adrian to the front door. Adrian doesn’t knock, instead, he walks right in and I’m entranced once more by the sheer beauty and size of the home. The ceilings are high and every window seems to have an indoor garden in front of it.
It feels as though we’ve been transported to a jungle, if the jungle was decorated with hand-knit quilts and paintings galore. I don’t know if I’ve ever been in a building that has felt soalive.
“Wow,” I whisper, incapable of playing it cool.
“It’s something else, isn’t it?” Adrian leads me through the large family room, my eyes catching on a gorgeous sunrise painting above the fireplace. If MJ did all of these, she’s insanely talented. I bet she’d make millions in a gallery.
“MJ has more talent in her pinky finger than I have in my whole body,” I say in awe and he chuckles.
“Don’t say that too loud,” Sebastian says as he walks in from the backyard. “She’ll figure out she’s too good for me.”
I laugh and even Adrian cracks a smile. Sebastian isn’t as vivacious as Grayson, but he has a similar talent of pulling smiles out of people. It’s good that they’re both here today. I’m sure people will need those smiles.
“Everyone is outside. Sophie catered all of the food and it’s out back on a table.”
“Thanks, Bash,” Adrian says and Sebastian nods then walks into the kitchen, likely knowing that Adrian won’t say much more than that. “Sophie is one of MJ’s best friends, she’s a chef,” Adrian explains to me and I nod.
Through the wall of windows I spy a crowd of people chatting and eating at plastic tables. There are more people than I expected here, and I’m not sure how Adrian feels about the larger group.
“You ready?” I ask him in a low voice.
He leans down and steals a quick kiss.
“I’m ready.”
We walk out together and, thankfully, Grayson doesn't dramatically announce our arrival. It seems like everyone is trying to talk like normal, but you can instantly feel the grief that hovers over the yard like a storm cloud. I suddenly feel as though I don’t belong. I didn’t know Adrian’s mom, and even though we’re dating, most of these people don’t know me.
“Hey.” Adrian tugs me closer to him and lets go of my hand to drape his arm over my shoulders. “Thank you for coming with me. I don’t know if I could handle all this without you.”
His words soothe my outsider anxiety. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I’m here for Adrian like I promised him I would be.
People nod to us as we pass by and I notice that they seem to not know how to act around Adrian. It breaks my heart that he doesn’t have a true support system, even more that he could have had one if he would have felt capable of trusting someone. Maybe tonight can be a step in the right direction for him. I don’t expect him to become a fountain of emotions, but I know it would do him good to feel safe enough around his family to be able to grieve his own mother.
We make our plates and sit at a table with Maverick and a couple I don’t recognize. The woman has a toddler on her knee, feeding him tiny spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. My heart warms just looking at them. Maybe one day I could have that. When I chance a glance at Adrian, I find him already looking at me, affection in his gaze.
“This is my best friend Drew and his wife Kayla, plus their son Archie,” Maverick introduces the couple with a smile. “Drew practically lived at our house growing up.”
