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The door opened, surprising me, and I turned to look up at Levi, shirtless in a pair of boxers with damp hair, coming inside my room. His gaze found mine.
“Don’t lock me out,” he said.
“Obviously, I didn’t. You got in.”
He walked over to the bed and put his palms on the mattress as he stared down at me. “I can smell you on my sheets, Aspen. It’s driving me fucking crazy. I can’t sleep without you in there. I need to hold you. I fucked up. I’m sorry. I just … please, baby. Please, come back to my bed.”
He reached over and touched my face and frowned. “You’ve been crying.”
I didn’t say anything, and he threw my covers back and scooped me up.
“You’re not going to lie in here alone and cry. Fucking beat on my chest, claw my eyes out—I don’t care, but you’re doing it in my bed. Not alone. You’re not going to be fucking alone. I won’t let you.”
We walked into his room, still carrying me, and he closed the door behind us. He walked over to his side of the bed and put me down, then climbed in beside me, wrapping his arm around me. He tucked my head under his chin, and I wanted to sigh as I sank into his hard body.
“Mine,” he said softly. “I take care of you. Even if it’s me who fucking upset you.”
“I’m not yours.”
He tensed, then pulled back and looked down at me. The fierce look in his eyes made me shiver. “Yes, you are. You need something, I handle it. I keep you safe. I give you what you need.”
I shook my head. “No. That’s not happening anymore.”
“I’d like to see you try to stop me.”
“You have this thing about taking care of me. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a … I don’t even know what to call you. A friend, but you’re more than that. You do everything for me. It’s just … what I am saying is … the sexual stuff. No more. I think that’s too much for me.”
His arms tightened around me. “You’ve had an orgasm, baby. You’re gonna want more.”
I swallowed and nodded. “Yes. And just like you get to do things with other women, I can get that need met by someone else.”
Anger flashed in his eyes as he rolled me onto my back and hovered over me. “No fucker is touching you,” he growled. “I told you that I take care of you. That pussy is mine to take care of. This body is mine to make feel good.”
“But that’s why tonight was hard. I can’t let you do that and then see you with other women. I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”
His teeth were clenched, and his nostrils flared. “I will kill someone if they touch you,” he said angrily. “That’s not a threat, baby. It’s the fucking truth. Do you understand me? I can’t handle it. I wanted to rip Kye’s arm off tonight.”
I sighed and pressed my hand against his chest. “Well then, maybe you could imagine how it felt for me to listen to you come in another woman’s mouth. I won’t ever get to do that. Not with you.”
He closed his eyes and swore. “You saying you want my cock in your mouth?”
“Yes, I want a lot of things you’re not willing to offer. And even if you were, I’d want it exclusively, and you don’t want that.”
He dropped his head to my chest and let out a ragged breath. “What other things?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.
He wasn’t looking at me, so that helped my ability to just tell him the truth.
“I want to have sex. I want to do all of it. I’m twenty, and the fact is, my life might be halfway over already. I don’t know how long I’ll get.”
His head snapped up. “Don’t say that. Do not say that. Your life isn’t halfway over.”
I touched his face. If only him saying it made it true. “You don’t know that, and neither do I. What I do know is, what you did to me and how you made me feel showed me I am missing out in life. I want to feel it all.”
He took several deep breaths as he stared at me. The distressed, almost-panicked look in his eyes made me wish I had said nothing.
“I can’t do love and relationships.” He sounded in pain. “I’m not a man who can do that. But if what you want is to have sex, then I can give you that, and while we are doing it, I won’t touch another woman.”
Although my chest ached, I managed to smile. “That’s sweet, but I would never ask that of you.”
