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When the fuck had that happened? It had never been something I wanted or believed in. I struggled to breathe. This wasn’t good. Was it? No. It wasn’t. Love led to pain. It led to loss. I couldn’t lose her. That wasn’t an option.
“Levi?” her soft voice called out, and my eyes swung back to her.
She had moved off the bed and was standing there, watching me. My T-shirt hung on her body, and that hair I loved so damn much was a mess. She was beautiful.
“Are you okay?” she asked, taking a small step in my direction.
“You can’t leave me.” My voice sounded anxious.
She frowned. “You think I’m going to leave you?”
Fuck, I didn’t know what I thought right now. My heart was beating so hard in my chest that I could hear it. I needed her to love me. Fucking love. I’d messed up. Gotten so addicted and fucking obsessed with her that I wanted the one thing that could destroy us both.
“I won’t let you go,” I told her.
A soft smile touched her face. “I don’t want you to.” She took another step closer to me. “I want this as long as you want me. I know you said it’ll end one day, but—”
“This doesn’t end,” I cut her off. “This never ends, Aspen.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at me. “But you said—”
“Things changed.Thischanged. I told you that you were my world. That isn’t temporary.”
The distress in her expression had me moving back across the room. Why the fuck had that upset her? Did she want this to end one day? She didn’t want to stay?
“Aspen,” I said as I reached her. “What about that is bothering you?”
She blinked, and unshed tears filled her eyes. Fucking hell. It felt like she was ripping my heart out of my chest. She couldn’t do this to me. She was mine.
“I want that. More than anything, Levi, I want to be with you. I … I love you.”
I moved then, and my mouth crashed down on hers. Those soft, full lips opened for me, allowing me to slip inside and taste her. The brush of her tongue made me tremble. She had a power over me that no one had ever had. Saying that I needed her was no longer the case. I required her to live. I was completely devoted to her. That was never going away.
When I moved to wipe the tears from her cheeks and kiss the places they had touched, she leaned into me.
“Why the tears, sweetheart?” I asked.
That same torment in her eyes that had completely unhinged me was back. I would do whatever I had to in order to make that go away.
“I can’t be forever for you,” she said as a sob broke free. “I’m not promised a long life. It’s selfish of me to ask for more from you. You need to fall in love, get married, have kids. You think you don’t want that now, but you will. I’m sure Gage and Huck didn’t think they’d want it either. But it’s clear they worship the women they’re with.”
I couldn’t listen to this anymore. I put my finger over her lips and forced myself to calm down. I refused to believe I wouldn’t have her forever. In my life, she would be the only one. I’d fucking find someone to make sure she had a long life. There were doctors out there somewhere that could help us. Someone had to know something more than what we did right now.
“I want you. Without you, then I have no life. You think I need to fall in love? Good. Because I did. So fucking hard that it blindsided me.” I cupped her face. “Looking back, I think I’ve loved you from the moment you opened that goddamn door to a stranger. I’d never been hit so hard in my life when these pretty green eyes met mine. In this life, we will live every damn day to the fullest. You’ll be worshipped until the day they put me in the ground. Never doubt that.”
She blinked up at me. The bewilderment in her eyes squeezed my damn heart. How had she doubted any of this? Hadn’t I made it clear with my insane actions when it came to her?
“You love me?” she asked slowly, as if testing the words.
“Yes. It might go beyond that. Infatuation, devotion, fascination. You completely enchant me.”
The smile on her face was all I needed. With that smile, my world was right. Everything was perfect. She was mine.
Thirty-Six
Aspen
Chewing on my bottom lip nervously, I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Levi to come upstairs. He had been in a meeting for over an hour. Blaise was here, and all the guys were in his office.
