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The images of my father trying to rape her come to mind. Then the way I fucked her against the window. I meant it as punishment for what I believed she’d done. And though she might have gained some pleasure from it, it makes me no less of a monster than Leonardo.
My father may have tried to hurt her. I succeeded.
I decline the call. There isn’t enough groveling in the world to make up for my deed. I don’t even deserve the chance.
* * *
As we wait for Luca and Gunn, I go to stand by the window and stare out into the light rain that’s painted the sky gray.
I shut my eyes and envision the painting displayed on the narrow wall by my bedroom door in the loft.
Rain. Although Emily has always insisted she doesn’t paint rain, that’s what I see. Slashes of white against a gray— I jerk and peer out once more. The day I accused her of killing my father, a single tear streamed down her cheek. She was surprised by it.
“Are you always this happy?” I asked her once.
“I cry. Sometimes,” she replied.
“When was the last time?” I pressed on, wanting to know if it was possible that someone who had seen the tragedy she had could be truly happy.
“Everyone cries, Noah.”
Not everyone cries. I don’t. I cannot recall shedding a tear, even as a child.
At the time, I believed she was lying. That she didn’t cry either. Somehow, that beautiful girl had managed to do what I couldn’t. She’d found light in the darkness, while all I could do is still fumble around in it.
Now I know how she did it. She poured her pain in different shades of gray onto a canvas. Those were her tears. The question is, why would she give them to me?
The answer comes to me instantaneously. Because she thought I needed them more.
Suddenly, there’s a tightness in my chest I’ve never felt before. An awareness of an emptiness, not just in me, but all around me.
Needing to fill that void somehow, I grab my cell phone and listen to the messages Emily left me. And they leave me chilled to the bone.
“Noah. You have to leave your house. A man named Gideon Black is coming. He’s bringing men with him to kill you. Get out now!”
“Please let me know you got this. But first, get to safety.”
“I’m heading to your loft.”
All of my blood seems to drain from my body. “Emily.”
I race out of the weapons room with my men in tow, unwilling to wait another minute for Luca.
My phone pressed to my ear, I dial Emily over and over, but she doesn’t answer my calls.
“Shit!”
Luca arrives with a caravan just as I’m getting into the SUV, with Alex in the driver’s seat. I motion for them to follow as we take off at a furious speed.
“She’ll be all right, boss. Bet she gives up when they don’t let her in,” he says.
I glare at him, though it’s me who fucked up when I added her to the permanent list, granting her the freedom to visit me anytime she wished.
It takes far too long to reach my loft. Leaving Luca to secure the building, I get into the elevator and head up.
“Emily!” I yell the second the doors open.
With my gun at a downward angle but ready to shoot, I move into the loft. I scan the space in a matter of seconds and zero in on the partially open door to the rooftop.
