AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I chose furniture for it,” Zee babbled but hurried to add, “but if you don’t like it, we can change it all.”
If I didn’t already love her, that would have clinched the deal. It would have been the moment I fell for her. She’d given me a chance to pull myself out of the hellhole that had been my life.
Resting her chin on the hand Zee had laid across my chest, she gave me a small smile and asked, “Can I ask you something?” I nodded and she went on. “What did you mean before when you asked if it was okay for a first time?”
My heart flip-flopped in my chest, my stomach bottoming out. I’d never shared what I was about to tell her with anyone. I wanted her to know, but Zee was so sex positive that I was kind of embarrassed to admit the whys. Then again, Zee didn’t care about other people’s expectations. Maybe she would understand. Either way, I trusted her.
I sucked in a breath and borrowed some of her I-don’t-give-a-hoot courage. “I’ll get better with practice, you know? It was our first time. My first time.” I swallowed hard. My voice was tight, and I was sure I was the colour of a beetroot. “You were my first. Today… was my first time.”
“I’m your first?” she whispered, a mix of confusion and awe in her voice. When I nodded, she shuffled up, pressing her lips to mine with infinite gentleness. “Why?”
I rolled my eyes. The answer was obvious. “Because I’ve been in love with you for years, Zee. How could I be with anyone else? I wanted to wait. Call me an eternal optimist, but I kinda hoped that one day you’d want me like that too.” I shrugged, trying to play down how big a deal it had been when I was a teenager and everyone except me was experimenting.
“Oh, Flynn,” she murmured. But it wasn’t pity in her voice. It was reverence. “The professor—”
“Yeah, him too. He was my first too. Is that ridiculous?”
She shook her head. “Are you kidding me? No, it’s incredible. I feel privileged that you chose me to be your first. But I also wish we could scrub Professorhole out of the equation.”
I grinned and shrugged again. “I don’t know. He is pretty hot.”
Zee sighed and agreed. “I still hate him and his perfect body.”
“Urgh, he’s smart too.” Zee snapped her gaze to mine, shock and anger flaring in her eyes like bright sparks, but I continued, explaining my reasoning to her. “Totally misguided, but intelligent.”
“I’ll need to start my research soon. Want to come with me to Dad’s house for dinner?. Then if you’re not busy, we can get stuck into it.”
Nodding with a grin, I replied, “I’d love to. I haven’t seen Monroe in ages.” While we were speaking about the research…. “Did you, ah, get a copy of the photo that the prof put up on the slides?”
“I did. It’s funny, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that photo before. Or maybe I have, but it didn’t stick in my head. Seeing it, though, made everything come back. It was like it was yesterday.”
“You remembered that day?” I asked softly.
“Yeah.” She sat up, pulling away from me. But when she twined her fingers through mine and held tight, I knew she was okay. Sitting up, I pressed a kiss to her temple and waited, giving her the space to share it if she wanted to.
“I remember Mum telling me how you couldn’t come over that day because we were going to her work. I was sad but so excited to go with her.” She huffed out a laugh, her smile soft and eyes misty. “I loved that office; it was so big and bright, and hers overlooked the canal so I could see the boats outside. But that’s not where we went.” She furrowed her brow and tilted her head, her gaze far away. Grinning again, her lips tilted up in a huff of laugher, her eyes sparkling.
“I was sitting on the floor, listening to music on Mum’s iPod. She used to listen to this European DJ who was, like, hardcore happy techno. I loved it. I’d dance around every time she put it on, and I knew all the words to the songs. But whenever I started singing, Mum nudged me with her foot. I’d stop for a few minutes, then do the same thing again. Mum promised to take me out for sushi if I stayed as quiet as a mouse—”
“You love sushi. Did she still get it for you?” I smiled and squeezed her hand, encouraging her to keep speaking.
Zee shook her head as if clearing the cobwebs. “I don’t know. I can remember sitting there. The carpet was scratchy, but I didn’t care. I was at work like a big girl. Mum had taken me with her. She never even did that with Asher. I don’t remember why I was off school and Ash wasn’t….” Her smile turned sad. “I haven’t thought about that day in years.”
“I know it hurts.” I hooked my finger under her chin and turned her to face me, pressing our foreheads together. The happy memories were the ones we treasured. There were too many bad ones that came to her when she closed her eyes.
Watching them drown again and again. Even though she hadn’t witnessed the accident, she’d lived the fallout, and her mind was a powerful thing, filling in the blanks based on circumstantial evidence.
Zee would wake up, breathing hard and reaching for her mother and Asher, trying to save them but never succeeding.
Her phone dinged, and Zee reached for it. Her smile was warm, and she shook off her sadness with a slow breath out. “Dad’s home from work. Want to head there now?”
“Sure.”
Eight
Zali
D
