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he awkwardness had persisted after Flynn and I dished up breakfast for ourselves and Ry had returned from his suite with a fresh pair of boardies on. We’d heard his groan of relief, then his shout barely a minute later. He hadn’t even gotten his door closed before he’d come.
The first time. The second took a little longer, but not much.
But now I needed to stop fucking around and get down to business. Except this shit was personal, and I… wasn’t sure if I was strong enough. I was scared—both of what I’d find and what I wouldn’t.
Flynn held my hand, stroking my knuckles in a soothing rhythm. It centred me, gave me something to focus on besides the responsibility sitting on my shoulders. It was easy to bear when it was someone else’s life. But the people I loved were in the firing line here, and I was the only one who could protect them.
Right now, I needed my friends. My boyfriend—I couldn’t help the cat-that-got-the-cream grin at the thought—and the only other person, excluding Dad, who’d lost as much as we had. I swallowed hard. Had I fucked up? Would he forgive the way I’d behaved? He’d always been professional, and I’d crossed lines. Actually, I’d completely blown them out of the water, leaving no trace of their existence. I liked the sound of it, but it wasn’t fair to Ry to put him in that position. I was his boss, and he was my employee.
“Ry,” I asked. “Can you sit with us?” My voice was a thready whisper, fear and panic stealing through me and twisting my stomach into knots.
Wholly aside from the question of whether I’d still have my most loyal employee by my side was the research before me. Mum’s diaries lay organized in chronological order on the coffee table. I was out of excuses too. I’d been procrastinating, trying to delay reading them. Now I knew why Dad hadn’t read them. I couldn’t turn back after I’d cracked open the first cover.
But I needed to dive into them. I’d promised myself that I would leave no stone unturned. I was going to hunt down every shred of evidence and prove her innocence.
Fear was a bitch though. What if my memories of Mum were completely wrong? I remembered her as being fun and full of life. She would laugh with Asher and me, take us to the beach and build sandcastles. She’d sing to me at night and read stories until my eyes slipped closed. What if these diaries changed those memories? What if the thoughts she put on paper showed her to be a completely different woman to the one I’d known?
What if I didn’t know her at all?
“Sure,” he answered stiffly, sitting down on the sofa opposite us and clasping his hands on his lap. “Look, about this morning—”
“I’m sorry,” I cut him off. “I screwed up in more ways than one. I should have had the door closed. I hope this doesn’t change our professional relationship. You’re the most loyal employee I’ve ever had, and I’d hate for that to change.”
He nodded with one sharp dip of his chin, but I got the unmistakeable impression that he was disappointed. He pursed his lips and averted his gaze, looking down at the spotless deck as if it held the secrets of the world. “Yeah.” His smile was brittle, not even close to stretching across his face like it did when he was having fun. “What can I do for you, boss?”
“These are some of Mum’s diaries. Could you sit with me while I read them?”
“Of course. Is Flynn leaving?” He looked between us expectantly.
“No, but—”
“Let me get my laptop. I’ve got some maintenance reports to fill out.” He eased off the couch, slipping away toward his office.
Flynn elbowed me gently. “Told you he’d be here for you. He loves you too, Zee.”
My only response was a squeeze of his hand and the small smile I shot him.
“Nervous about what you’ll read?”
“Like you wouldn’t know.” I huffed out a breath. “I’ve been trying to psych myself up for fifteen minutes just to ask Ry to sit with us.”
“I don’t think your apology was necessary, but I’m sure he appreciated it.” Flynn opened his laptop and inserted two USBs.
“What are you working on?” I asked.
“These are the USBs Professor Reid gave us. I’m doing the tasks he set for us. I figure I’ll do the analysis while you make your way through the diaries.”
Ryder returned and sat next to me when I patted the couch cushion. The three of us sat side by side, the two guys working on their laptops as I leafed through page after page of Mum’s diaries.
The further I read, though, the more I smiled. In among the business talk that permeated every post, there were funny anecdotes, snippets of conversations, and cute things that Asher and I were doing. Warmth seeped through every line. Mum was fun and vivacious and wickedly smart. Every page showed just what kind of juggling act my parents had managed, Mum starting ReimagINC from nothing and building it into something spectacular while Dad held down a full-time job and was constantly running around with us kids. Mum’s level of excitement when she could see good things happening was through the roof, and her fears were written into every page. What if work took her away from us? What if she didn’t work hard enough for people? What if she made bad choices and lost money? What if she succeeded and it changed her?
She bounced around, as if her mind was travelling at a million miles a minute. One sentence she was talking about something Asher or I had done, and in the next, she’d be discussing how this stock or that stock was going to make them money. Throughout each diary and often when she was struggling, she’d stick printed images of tropical reefs, white sandy beaches, and towering forests. It was a tropical paradise. Knowing that she never got to see it in person, my smile turned sad.
I brushed aside the melancholy and focussed on details. I could go back and read the personal parts of the entries again when time wasn’t tight.
Another name jumped out at me—one I’d read before.
“Flynn, can we cross-reference the investments the company had against what’s in here? Take a look.” I showed him the highlighted names and Mum’s comments. From the dates in the diary, I could set out a timeline for investment targets she was impressed with. Whenever investments were mentioned, she was precise, setting out arguments for choosing one stock over another, predictions for increases in value in certain markets, and so on.
