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It had taken him a long time to fall asleep. He’d lain awake for hours, his hands clasped across his belly as he stared up at the ceiling. I’d kissed his shoulder, drawing his attention, and he’d smiled softly before whispering, “Go to sleep, Tris. I’ll still be here in the morning. We can talk then.”
We did need to talk, but the longer I put it off, the more time I had with him, the more time I could enjoy touching him in the way I’d dreamed of for a decade. It wasn’t even the sex—although that was mind-blowingly good with the addition of Zali and Flynn—it was this. It was him lying in my arms. It was me nuzzling his nape, breathing in the remnants of his shampoo.
I smoothed my hand over his lower belly, spreading my fingers and claiming him. This man was mine. Zali’s and Flynn’s too. We were his too. Shifting ever so gently, I moulded every inch of myself against him. I didn’t want to wake him—he needed sleep after last night—but the instinct to eliminate the space between us was overwhelming.
He was warm and relaxed, but he was starting to stir. He leaned back ever so slightly and slid his hand down my leg, hitching it up so my legs followed the bend in his. I stilled, trying to let him ease back into slumber, but my cock had other ideas. Hot and hard, nestled in the crease between his cheeks, I had to bite back a groan when his breath hitched.
Ezra arched back, letting go of my leg and stretching his arm over our shoulders to tangle in my hair. His morning voice was rough when he murmured, “Good mornin’.”
“Mmm, it’s very good,” I hummed, smiling against his nape as I laid a kiss there. Ezra chuckled softly, gooseflesh rising along his skin as my breath tickled him, and he rocked his hips back, sliding along my length before doing it again.
“You’re needy this morning,” I mused, teasing a line of kisses on his shoulder, then nibbling along the curve of his muscle.
“It’s you.” He pushed my hand down lower, curling my fingers around his steely cock. I squeezed, jacking him slowly. His voice was like gravel when he moaned, “You’re addictive.”
“So are you,” I whispered, slicking his precum down his length. “I’ve been hooked since that first night. Fuck, I’ve wanted you for a decade.” Exhaling, I let go of the fear I’d been holding onto and opened myself up. If I was taking a leap of faith and trusting Zali, I needed to do the same for Ezra.
Especially for Ezra.
“I’ve loved you for a decade,” I admitted.
He stilled, his breath catching. Turning wide brown eyes on me, his brow furrowed and his mouth open, he asked, “You have?” He shook his head in disbelief. “You always made out like you just wanted to fuck.”
“In the beginning, I did. I figured one more night with you would get you out of my system. But then I saw you that night of the accident, and I was in awe of you—”
“That was only a few days later—”
I huffed out a laugh. “Like I said, at first. But I was already more than halfway there when you said goodbye the morning after and told me not to call you.”
He grinned shamelessly at me before leaning back further into my arms, encouraging me to keep kissing him. It was no hardship, but I needed to see his expression when I confessed what had been in my heart the whole time.
“The night of the accident pushed me over. I fell head over heels in love with you.” I ran my hand down his length, slowly working him. But this wasn’t about getting him off. I needed him to hear me, to concentrate on every word I said. “You made me want to be a better man, Ez. For you.” Laying a lingering kiss on his shoulder, I added, “It’s why I started my degree. It’s why I cleaned my shit up and got a job, a career. I wanted to show you I could be good for you, that I wasn’t some deadbeat who’d drag you down.”
Ezra’s eyes slipped closed, and he nuzzled his nose against mine. When he finally opened them again, he gave me a small smile and admitted, “I was scared of how much I wanted you.” He closed his hand over mine and guided my movements up and down his shaft. We were breathing the same air, both hard and aching, but we weren’t trying to get off. Our touch, being so close to each other, created a bubble around us. It was the most intimate moment I’d ever shared with him.
His voice was tortured when he spoke again. “I would have thrown away everything I’d worked for if you asked. I was scared shitless. The only way I wouldn’t cave was if I kept my distance.”
I shook my head. “I never would have asked you to walk away from what you love.”
“I know that now.” He pressed his lips against mine in a slow, chaste kiss. “But back then, my feelings were… complicated.” He huffed out another laugh, this one self-deprecating. “They’re still complicated.”
“You were in love with Zali,” I surmised, pressing our lips together for another kiss. Slipping my tongue into his mouth, I tasted him, trying to show him with more than words, with more than sex, how I felt.
“And Flynn. Ryder, too, if I’m being honest.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
I kissed Ezra again, slipping out from behind him as I did. After shifting him until he was lying on his back, I let the weight of my chest press him down into the mattress. His hands burned a path down my back as he grasped my arse and squeezed. I moaned, and he pulled me tighter against him until I was hooking my leg over his. I deepened the kiss, our tongues tangling as I squeezed his cock and pressed my thigh up high between his legs. His quiet moan vibrated through me as my soul reached out to find another of its perfect matches.
“But it’s also why I can’t do this,” he forced out, and my hand stilled.
I pulled away from him in shock, my brows furrowed and mouth agape.
My voice was a mix of horrified and devastated when I asked, “What? No. Why?”
“Because of Roe. I’m betraying him.” Ezra pinched the bridge of his nose, and I almost sobbed at the loss of his hand on me.
He exhaled slowly. “He’s one of my oldest friends, Tris. I knew him when his daughter was still a child. How do I explain this to him?” He gestured between us and Zali and Flynn who were curiously still, as if they were both holding their breaths.
