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Colours faded, turning sepia like an old photograph.
I clutched Dad, holding him tight. Fear stole through me.
I needed them safe. My heart stuttered. Where were Mum and Ash?
Frantically looking around, I searched for them. Asher was there, standing on the gunwale, balancing on the edge without hands. He laughed, but the sound was sad.
I reached for him, wanting to pull him back from the edge.
But I was falling.
Water rushed up at me, enveloping me.
The shock of cold froze my breath.
Bubbles erupted before me as the air was punched out of my lungs.
He was sinking, falling deeper. But he wasn’t moving. He needed to kick, to save himself.
“Asher,” I screamed, but no words came out. Salt water filled my mouth, then my lungs as I inhaled, trying to scream again.
He looked up, his kind eyes filled with pleading. “Keep looking,” he whispered.
He sank.
Drifted from me into the darkness.
I followed, kicking my legs as hard as I could.
But with every stroke, with every kick, he slipped further away from me.
I cried out, begging him to come back until all I could see was inky blackness.
He was gone.
Hands were on me, shaking me. “Zee, baby,” Flynn cried. “Wake up.”
My arms were gripped harder, the shake violent enough to rip me from my nightmare. I gasped, a broken cry shuddering from my lips as I jolted awake. Tristan was on his knees in front of me, his hands on my thighs. Ezra was next to him, his hand on my face, wiping away my tears as Ry grasped my arms and shook.
“Shh, baby girl. We’ve got you,” Ry crooned. I sobbed, curling in on myself.
Ry enveloped me in his arms, pulling me onto his lap. “It’s okay, I’m here. We’re all here.”
My tears soaked his shirt as he rocked me gently, none of my guys letting go. Never letting go.
“I was in the water with him,” I cried, my voice a broken whisper. “I couldn’t save him.”
“It’s okay, baby girl. It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not a memory, love,” Tristan reminded me, rubbing my back. “You didn’t fail him.”
“He told me to keep looking.” I looked at them through my tears.
“Zee,” Flynn whispered, cupping my face and resting his forehead against mine. Ry shifted, wrapping his arm around Flynn. I whimpered, but Flynn hugged me close, snuggling us both into Ry’s chest. “You’ve made him so proud. You’ve made your mum proud too. You’ve done everything you can to honour their memories.”
But I hadn’t. Not really. I had more data, more records to read through and sort out. I had a trail of information that I needed to check. And here I was going out for drinks and fucking everyone in sight.
Wiping my tears with the heel of my hand, I sucked in a breath and pulled on my big girl panties. Fuck crying. It wouldn’t do me any good. Action. That’s what was needed. “I need to get back to work.” I went to pull away, but Ry tightened his arms around me.
