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"I didn't want to make you choose between me and your family and friends.” My voice was steady, but the excuse sounded thin in my ears.
Maya snorted.
"So, you just decided to leave without even giving me a choice?"
"I thought it would be easier.” My words were coming out in a rush. "I didn't want to put you through the stress of having to make that decision."
Maya's face twisted with anger, and I could see her fists clenched in her lap.
"You didn't want to put me through the stress? What about the stress of wondering where the hell you went? Wondering what I did to make you leave?"
I winced at her words, feeling a pang of guilt in my chest. "I know, Maya. I should have talked to you about it. I should have been more honest with you."
She glared at me, her eyes blazing with anger. "You think?"
I took a deep breath, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I'm sorry, Maya. I am. I have no excuse. Everything that I can say about it sounds stupid to me too, but the reasoning made sense to me at the time. I should have done things differently."
Maya shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears.
"Do you have any idea how much you hurt me, Jack? You just left without a word. Without any explanation. I felt so alone, so abandoned."
"I know," I said, my voice soft. "And I'm sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you, Maya. I just didn't know what else to do."
Maya looked away. "You could have talked to me, Jack. You could have given me a choice. Instead, you just decided for me."
"I know," I said again, my voice barely above a whisper. "And I'm sorry for that. I wish I could go back and do things differently."
Maya shook her head, her eyes still fixed on a spot beyond even the wood walls surrounding us.
"It's too late for that, Jack. Seven years too late."
I nodded slowly, feeling the weight of Maya's words heavy on my shoulders.
"I understand," I said softly. "I know I can't change the past, but I want to make things right now."
Chapter 6
Maya
Iwassilentfora long moment. I knew Jack could see the tears glistening in my eyes.
“It’s not that easy, Jack,” I finally whispered. “There’s so much that has happened. So much has changed.”
Jack flinched as I abruptly stood up and walked over to the window, staring at the darkness.
I couldn’t believe Jack dared to apologize. After what he’d done. After all these years. Who was he to open these wounds? The hurt, betrayal, and anger all came rushing back to me.
He left me. Heabandonedme. For a fuckingjob. A job that I knew he left barely six months later. He snuck back to Colorado and never gave me–or the life we could have had together–a second thought.
A vice sat on my chest, twisting my heart painfully. My throat was dry as sand and my eyes stung with tears that I wasn’t letting myself fully shed.
I blinked out the window, my eyes slowly adjusting to the blackness. The storm raged on and I could hear the wind howling. I caught a glimpse of the ferocious snowflakes in the soft glow of the porch light.
Without another word, I walked to the borrowed bedroom and locked the door behind me. I couldn’t talk to Jack anymore tonight, it was just all too much. My heart couldn’t take it anymore. The betrayal settled over me like a too-heavy, too-warm blanket, suffocating me.
I curled up on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest, and cried. The sounds of the blizzard outside were muffled by the thick walls, but they provided a comforting backdrop to my sobs. I cried until my eyes were raw, my nose was red and runny, and my throat was sore.
Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I drifted off to sleep, the sounds of the blizzard lulling me into a fitful slumber.
