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"I mean, you freak out over a simple conversation," she said, her eyes narrowing. "It's almost like you think I'm going to cheat on you or something. But hey, it’s not like we’re together, anyway."
"That's not it at all," I said, my voice rising. Her words hurt, but I was picking one battle at a time, so I ignored the comment about us not being together. "I trust you, Maya. I just don't trust other guys."
She scoffed. "And why is that? Because you're the big alpha male who thinks he can just mark his territory and no one else can touch it?"
I felt a wave of frustration wash over me. Why was she making this so difficult?
"That's not it," I said, my voice low. "I just don't want to lose you."
“We aren’t together, Jack. When would you get the fact into your thick skull?!” Maya yelled.
I tried to reply, but her words came in a rush, and suddenly we were at each other’s necks. Maya’s hair flew around her face in a bright brown mass of curls, and I couldn’t help but think about how beautiful she was. Even if, at that moment, I was struggling to keep my anger in check.
In the back of my mind, I was stunned at how quickly things had gone from zero to a hundred. We had been arguing about something trivial, but it had escalated quickly into a full-blown argument. I could feel my heart racing as I tried to keep my cool, but then something happened that completely derailed me.
As my voice matched Maya’s tempo for tempo, a little boy walked down the stairs. I stopped at first, unwilling to argue in front of the child who I assumed was Maya’s son. Her son whom she barely ever talked about with me. Another piece of her life she was guarding.
Maya noticed that I had stopped replying and when she saw the reason why, all the blood drained out of her face.
I was worried for her, but when I took a closer look at Eli, all thoughts in my brain evaporated.
No… It couldn’t be…
He was a tall, lanky little boy, and with his dark, wavy hair and gray eyes, it was like looking in a mirror. Granted, the mirror was off by about twenty-five years, give or take, but he looked just like me. His age likely matched the last time I saw Maya before we lost contact, and everything suddenly clicked into place.
Eli was my son.
I felt like a boulder in my heart had just sunk to my gut and I was speechless. I could hear Maya whispering loudly to Eli in the background, but I couldn’t make out any words. My mind was a racing, muddled mess as I tried to process the revelation. How could she not have told me? Why would she keep this a secret for so long?
I have ason, I thought, staring straight at Eli with my insides starting to shake. My heart started to race.
I have a son, I have a son, I have a son.
My body was tense as I struggled to control my emotions.
I didn't say anything to Maya. I couldn't. There was nothing I could do, so I simply turned on my heel and left the house. I needed time to think, to process what had just happened. As I walked down the street, where I parked so Maya wouldn’t hear the engine, my mind was in turmoil. I couldn't believe that Maya had kept such a huge secret from me.
This new knowledge had stopped me in my tracks. My life was suddenly upside down. I had a child-a boy who looked just like me. And yet, I had missed out on his entire life. I had no idea who he was or what he liked. I had no memories of his first steps, his first words, or his first day of school.
Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes as I thought about all the years that I had missed. All the birthdays and holidays that I had missed. I felt like I had been robbed of something precious and irreplaceable.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice when it started to snow. The flakes were cold and heavy. Warmed by my body heat, they melted and chilled me as they soaked through my layers. I was shivering, but I didn't care. All I could think about was Eli, my son.
I was in a daze, even as I drove home. I continued in this state for hours, spending a restless night but pushing forward as I cleaned up and headed back to the office the next morning.
All I was able to do was sign a few papers, all because I kept spacing out. As I sat in my chair, staring into space, my mind started to drift back in time to when Ava and I were together. I could see her smile in the back of my mind, sunny and radiant, just like she was. I remembered how happy we were together. For a moment, it was like I was back in those days, reliving the memories of our love.
I remembered the way Ava's smile lit up the room and the way her laughter made my heart skip a beat. I remembered the way her hair smelled like strawberries and how she loved to dance in the rain. We were young and in love, and nothing else seemed to matter.
Ava would never have done this to me.
I tried to push the memories of Ava aside and focus on the present, but the guilt lingered. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was somehow betraying Maya andour sonby even thinking about Ava.
I couldn’t do this anymore. I needed air. I couldn’t breathe in my office, and it felt like the walls were closing in.
I sprang to my feet, the first rushed movement I had made all day, rushing past startled people and even more startled security guards until I burst out of the building and let my feet lead.
As I walked, I could feel my body tense up. My fists clenched at my sides, and my breathing became shallow and uneven. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice where I was going.
