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“Hi Eli,” Jack said gently, quietly, kneeling to Eli’s height. “I’m Jack. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You’re my dad, right?” Eli’s bright voice nearly shattered my heart. Jack simply nodded and nearly fell over when Eli launched himself into a hug.
Eli had always been the most loving, warm, and sweet boy. I wasn’t surprised that he wanted to hug Jack or get to know him.
“Should I call you ‘Dad’?” Eli asked, still in bear-hug mode.
Jack raised a hand and ruffled his hair.
“You can call me whatever you’d like. If it helps to call me Jack, you can do that for now and we can go from there. If you want to call me Dad, that’s okay, too.”
How was Jack so perfect? I felt a tear slip down my cheek and almost freeze.
“Okay,” Eli said thoughtfully, pulling away. “I’ll call you Jack for now.”
“Sounds good.” Jack raised his hand for a high-five and Eli happily accepted with a giggle. I suddenly started to feel like an intruder and wandered over unnoticed to a bench in the far corner of the playground to give them some space.
I watched as they played on the structure before starting a very fast game of tag. Eli’s giggles and Jack’s booming laugh cut through the cold air and landed like a punch to the face for me.
I tried to be happy for them, that they got to have this time, playing together and getting to know each other. But as I watched them talk on the swing set, a rope of jealousy and fear wound tightly around my heart.
What did all of this mean? Was Jack going to try and take Eli away from me?
It had been me and Eli for so long, I couldn’t imagine not having him home every day.
For now, I forced myself to push those thoughts aside.
As the pale winter sun began to set, Eli and Jack said goodbye. Jack said nothing to me again and it hurt.
While we walked the few blocks from the park to my home, Eli was quiet and I could tell he had so many thoughts spinning in his head. He was bouncing as he tried to process everything that had happened that day. I reached over and held his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Thank you, Mom," he said. "I had so much fun today. He likes the same things I like, too."
I smiled back at him, feeling grateful that I had been able to give him this experience.
"I'm glad, sweetie," I said. "I'm so happy that you got to meet your dad."
Eli nodded, but then his expression turned serious.
"Mom," he said, "I want to see him again. Can we? Dad and I have so much to do together."
I hesitated for a moment, but then I looked at Eli, with his innocent eyes and his hopeful smile, and I knew that I couldn't say no.
"Of course, honey," I said, turning away and blinking back tears that threatened to spill down my cheeks. "You'll see him again. I promise."
Unfortunately for my poor heart, all it seemed Jack wanted right now was his son. But a woman could only hope.
Jack
I sat across from Maya in the coffee shop, the steam from our cups wafting up between us. Maya's face was grave but determined.
Her whole appearance seemed…down. Her hair was usually bouncy and full of life but hung limply in a low ponytail. Her eyes usually sparkled but were completely dull.
“Thanks for meeting me, Jack,” Maya said into her cup. “Eli wants to see you again and I haven’t known what to tell him. He was a little bummed not to see you over the Thanksgiving break, and I didn’t know when you wanted to see him again. I want you two to bond and spend time together. I really do, I just think Eli needs a little more structure. I do, too.”
Maya’s tone made something in my stomach curl. She seemed to be trying to play the victim here, but I had only known I’d even had a son for a couple of weeks, and now she was acting like I was an absent father who didn’t care.
But I swallowed the biting tone and the cruel response that threatened to spill past my lips. I took a deep breath instead and tried to respond rationally.
