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“I know I’ve been a bit preoccupied with work. It’s been a busy time. And I apologize about Thanksgiving. I already had plans to visit my parents in Durango. I also don’t want to overwhelm Eli. I’m kind of trying to follow your lead here, Maya.”
She finally looked up at me for a split second before focusing on the door behind me.
“I know.” The words came out more like a sigh. “I don’t really know what to do here, Jack. But I do think it would be good for the two of you to spend time together. One-on-one. To get to know each other.”
I took a sip of my coffee, thinking over her words. I knew that Maya was right. But the idea of spending time alone with Eli made me nervous. What if I messed it up? What if I said the wrong thing or made him upset? I mean, the park felt easy. Maya was there if anything went wrong.
Maya must have noticed my hesitation, because she reached across the table and placed a hand on mine.
“Jack, I know this is all hard for you and scary, and everything is coming all at once.” She winced, likely realizing why it was all coming at once. “But you’re going to be great at this. Eli adores you already. The only way you can let Eli down at this point is to disappear. All he wants is a chance to get to know you.”
I was surprised by how her support made me feel. I was…grateful?
"Thanks, Maya," I said with a small smile. "I'll do my best."
“You’ll be great.” She pulled out her phone and started scrolling, briefly showing me the screen before I could read any of the words. “Anyway, to get things started, I made a quick cheat sheet of the things Eli likes to do. They’re pretty simple. Mostly, he likes baseball, which is hard since it’s winter. But he loves the science museum, bugs, riding his bike, climbing, hiking, and just generally exploring. The usual stuff. I flagged a few events and local museums and attractions that you can use as a starting point. I’m not trying to be overly controlling, I just wanted to make things easier for you in the beginning, because, well, I'm just throwing you into this parenting thing. Eli is not shy, so you’ll know all of these things about him in no time, and you’ll have your own list of things to do with him before you know it.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as Maya texted me the list.
“This is great, Maya,” I said as I scrolled through the notes. “Thank you. I appreciate it. How about I plan to take him to the science museum on Saturday? And maybe lunch and the park, too? Or is that too much?”
“I’m pretty sure you just described one of Eli’s favorite days. That sounds great. Just let me know when you’ll pick him up and I’ll make sure he’s ready.”
We chatted for a few more minutes, but it felt strained and awkward. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t shake the anger and resentment I was feeling toward Maya.
I was beyond thankful that Catherine had time in her schedule for more sessions because she was earning a lot of money from me helping me through these problems.
Saturday came quickly, and I found myself, once again, on Maya’s doorstep ringing the bell. It was so different from the first time when I was just desperate to see her again.
I internally breathed a sigh of relief when Eli answered the door.
“Hey, bud,” I said brightly, offering a high five. He seemed to love those and then surprised me with a hug. I couldn't get over how affectionate Eli was, just like Maya used to be way back in the day. His hugs were warm and sincere.
“Hey, Jack. I’m excited about the science museum.”
“Awesome, me too.” I rocked back on my heels, stuffing my hands in my pocket. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yep,” he said brightly, shrugging a coat on and grabbing a backpack. “Bye, Mom,” he shouted behind him into the house. I heard Maya’s voice but couldn’t make out her response. Eli must have understood her because he shouted back, telling her he loved her before we walked to my car.
Eli was a ball of energy. He talked non-stop on the car ride into the city and all throughout the museum, awestruck by nearly every exhibit. He was very interested in science because he had lots and lots of stories to share.
I let him pick what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he didn’t even hesitate before asking for tacos. So, we went to my favorite taco spot in Denver. After lunch, we went to the park near his house and sat on the swing set, still talking.
In an afternoon, Eli had touched on every item on Maya’s list. He was so open and bright; he shined like the sun.
As the sun started to set, it was time for him to go home. My heart lurched, wanting to spend more time with him. Wanting his home to be with me. I left my car at the park and we walked the few blocks to Maya’s house.
When Eli opened the door, Maya came bouncing over to him and wrapped him in a giant hug, picking him up off the floor.
“I had the best day, Mom,” Eli squealed.
Maya gave him a noisy kiss on the top of his head. Another clench of my heart but it was for something I couldn't quite explain.
“I can not wait to hear all about it,” she said into the top of his head. “But why don’t you go upstairs and get cleaned up?”
Eli gave me one last big bear hug before saying goodbye and running upstairs, leaving me and Maya alone.
I started to wave and walk out the door when Maya spoke.
