AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Eli could barely contain his excitement–and didn’t, as he let out a squeal looking at all the shelves stuffed full of books to be read.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I thought, as he ran to the first table of brightly colored kids' books he saw. I chuckled as Eli turned each book over, carefully studying the back.
“You can pick out whatever you want. It’s my treat.”
Eli gasped.
“Really? Mom usually only lets me get books from the library.”
I chuckled.
“Libraries are amazing and I go to the one near my house for books all the time, too. But having my library full of books that I really, truly love is…well, it’s something that I want you to be able to have, too. To be able to pick up a favorite book and reread it anytime, and spend some time with the characters who become your friends, it’s an amazing experience. So, yeah, pick out a few books that you would like to have in your library. I’m going to head over to the fiction section for a minute.”
Eli nodded, still enchanted by the stacks of books. I shook my head, chuckling. I winked at the woman who was staffing the cash register in the kids’ section and told her I'd be right back.
I wandered over to the fiction section, pulling out a few titles I had on my list. On a whim, I picked out the newest one from an author Maya had mentioned enjoying. Maya talked about her when we spent those couple of days in bed in my cabin and…
No.
I couldn’t let myself go back to that place. Still, I put the book on top of my pile and set off to find Eli.
I found him with four books in his small hands.
“Find some good stuff?” I asked him as he showed each title to me.
“I’ve already read these two. They’re my favorite, but the library doesn’t always have them,” he said, showing off two books about dinosaurs. “And these two look like fun.”
“They sure do. Want anything else?”
Eli shook his head, and we started for the bank of cash registers at the front. A few steps later, Eli put his small, warm hand in mine and there was that twist in my heart again. I squeezed gently and looked down at him to find him smiling.
“Today was the best, Dad.”
“It sure was.” I was surprised to find my voice hoarse and my eyes burning a little from unshed tears. I cleared my throat as we reached the register and could barely say anything to the cashier. I just swiped my card when instructed, and Eli and I walked out to the car hand-in-hand.
We arrived at Maya’s house way too soon and Eli gave her the biggest hug when we walked inside. He was already pouring out information about snowshoeing, sledding, and the bookstore, and Maya’s eyes were shining with emotion.
I handed Maya the book I bought for her and she gave me a tentative hug as thanks before I walked out and left them to their cozy night.
As I drove home, I couldn’t help but reflect on the day.
I realized I felt truly happy, which was surprising to me. It had been years since I’d felt that way and it was all because of Eli. It seemed like there was some hole in my broken heart that he was helping to fill. Taking up an important space that had been left empty and hollow by the grief and sadness I’d been experiencing.
Eli and I were truly bonding and creating our memories. His laughter brought me joy and whenever I experienced his tears, I knew they’d bring me immense sadness, too.
And the more I looked, the more I saw myself in Eli, too. His love of the outdoors, books, and, most surprisingly, his preference for order and neatness.
Growing up, I was an only child and always felt a little alone. I loved my parents, and they loved me and spent time with me. But there had always been something missing. And I had struggled to connect with my classmates in a way no one else did.
With Maya in college and grad school, and even with Ava, sometimes I always felt like there was just a slight disconnect. Like they didn’t fully get me. But with Eli, I saw that I wasn’t alone after all. And that realization came with a sense of peace that settled over me.
As I pulled into my garage, I realized that nothing could compare to the feeling I had when I was with Eli.
I had let work be a poor substitute for too long, but signing deals and mountains of profit would never give me this feeling. Sure, money was nice–I wasn’t stupid, money certainly made life easier–but even the numbers in my bank account couldn’t give me this feeling of fullness.
This happiness was a feeling I would cherish forever.
Over the next few weeks, I made an effort to spend more time with Eli. We ran around at the park; the snow crunching beneath our feet. We played board games at home, laughing and joking as we tried to outsmart each other.
