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But if I ever tried to say those words, they’d get stuck in my throat.
I’m left standing in a tiny living room, towering over the two women as they gaze up at me, one in elation and the other in confusion.
“How have you been?” Jodie asks, settling me on a couch where my knees practically meet my chin. “Can I get you anything, darling? A drink? A beer?” She winks. “You’re old enough now.”
That draws a warm chuckle from me, but I decline. “No, thanks, Jodie. I’m not staying too long. I just wanted—”
I break off, looking to Mel. She’s still standing near the door, her arms crossed over her torso, a broken look on her face.
You did that to her.
If I could take back the last few months, I would. I would do anything to spare her from the stress and embarrassment she’s had to put up with because of me. I’d go back and never, ever ask her to lie for me.
“I have a date with a neighbor, anyway,” Jodie states breezily. “I’ll be back in about an hour. Jenson, if I don’t see you…” Her eyes glisten for a moment and she kisses the top of my head, making me feel like a kid all over again. In a good way. “Keep in touch, okay? You know you can call me any time.”
Just like that, she slips out the door. Mel watches her go with a slightly outraged expression.
“She’s supposed to be—”
She catches herself and glances at me, cheeks flushing. All of a sudden, I feel like I’m overstepping. Intruding.
Standing, I clear my throat, but Mel beats me to it.
“If you came to ask me to stick it out, I just can’t, Jenson. I really can’t. I’m not good at lying or pretending or—”
Is it just me, or did her voice break a little on the words?
I reach out and rub her upper arm lightly, trying to sense if my touch is welcome or not. To my surprise, she sways into it. Our eyes meet.
“I’m not here for that.”
Her brows crease.
“Then what…? Did I mess something up with HR?” The panic rises now. I’m an idiot for not just coming out and saying it, but this is hard. When Idofinally manage to get the words out, that’ll be it. I won’t bother her again.
“No, nothing like that.”
Reaching behind me, I hand over the wrapped frame. Mel takes it with two hands, looking baffled.
“I just wanted to tell you face-to-face that I know I haven’t been the best person I can be for a long time. And I’m sorry you got wrapped up in my bullshit. I thought I was trying to do better. But now I can see I was just hurting certain people to help others.”
It spills out of me as if I haven’t been rehearsing it for days now. Sounds true because it is, although my pulse thunders in my ears at speaking it out loud.
Mel stares down at the package. When she slowly starts tearing the paper off, I’m pretty sure it’s a sign that she doesn’t want to talk or look at me right now.
“Jenson,” she breathes, holding out an arm to see the photograph better.
It’s the one from the museum that we visited on the company trip to Jade Lodge. That oversized photograph of a little house, light spilling from one window. Like Jodie’s old place.
Standing in Jodie’s current home, I’m not sure getting Mel this gift was the right choice. Will she think I’m trying to tug her back into the past? Will she think I’m being cruel, since this photo so obviously struck her when she first saw it?
Trying to take away from my potential blunder, I wave a hand in the air, digging a slip of paper out of my pocket with the other.
“I’m not asking you to finish what we started. I just wanted to thank you and apologize. And give you this, as well.”
I hold out the check.
Mel hesitates. She knows what it is—there aren’t many things that are the exact size and shape of a check.
