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“Leia?” I shake my head as her hand raises and her palm connects with my cheek, landing a sharp sting that I wasn’t expecting.
“I’ll tell you what happened.You left me. I married a man who’s a control freak and likes to take his anger out on me.” She’s found a sudden strength that wasn’t there when she opened the door, and when she shoves her flat palms into my chest and forces me off her porch, I got no option but to stumble backward.
“Leia, don’t do this, I came here to—”
“To what? Be a hero?” She shakes her head and laughs bitterly. “I think it’s a little late for that. Go back to the rodeo, Wade.” There's venom in her tone and so much pain in her eyes that I can’t even look in ‘em.
“Leia, listen to me.”
“I’m not interested in your fake promises and your empty dreams anymore, Wade. This ismylife and you ain’t in it.” She shakes her head and stares back at me with disappointment as she backs up to her door.
“Don’t close that door.” I point my finger at her, starting to panic. “Leia, you gotta let me help you.”
“I don’t want your help, Wade. Ifuckin’hateyou.” Sadness drowns the anger from her eyes, her lips wobble, and she manages to close the door and shut me out, just before she breaks.
I wanna kick the door off its hinges so I can get to her. I wanna find Caleb Mason and make him dead in the worst ways, but instead, I let her words creep inside my head and douse my rage. I lose all the strength I came here with as it sinks in that she has every right to hate me. I hate myself. I came here with enough fight in me to tear down walls, but right now, I ain’t ever felt weaker.
I back away toward my truck, and when I get behind the wheel, I notice my phone vibrating on the console. It’s Garrett’s name flashing up, and I pull it to my ear without bothering to speak.
“Wade, where the fuck are ya?” He sounds mad and worried all at the same time.
“Where d’ya think I am?”
“You ain’t done nothin’ stupid, have ya?” he checks.
“Not yet,” I assure him. “I don’t think the bastard’s here, if he was he wouldn’t have let his beat-up wife answer the door.”
“She with you now?” Garrett asks.
“No.” The words wobble off my lips when I recall the way she told me she hated me. She meant it, and never before have words cut me so damn deep.
“Get back to the ranch, Wade, we’ll figure this out,” he promises, and I hang up the phone and smash it into my steering wheel over and over with pure, agitated rage. The screen smashes, and the frustration inside me still ain’t goin’ nowhere. So tossing it across the passenger seat, I start up my engine and head for home.
* * *
I step through the front door and into absolute carnage. Babies are crying, Mom is rocking one of ‘em over her shoulder, while Maisie has one of her tits out on the couch feeding another one. There’s a red-headed girl, I ain’t ever seen before, attempting to change a diaper on the mat that’s laid out on the floor, and I swear I’ve seen more order in a bunkhouse brawl than what’s goin’ on in here.
“Hey.” Mom comes at me sheepishly, but I’m too fuckin’ angry to deal with her right now.
“Where’s Garrett?” I look across to Maisie and wonder how someone can look exhausted and yet so full of happiness all at once.
“He’s in the office yelling at your brother.” She blows the strand of hair that's fallen in front of her eyes away and offers me a smile that proves she has no idea what's going on. I nod my head and march in on ‘em. Garrett is really going to town on Cole, who don’t seem the slightest bit fazed by our brother’s rage as he casually swivels in the office chair with his hands crossed on his lap.
“Wade! Thank fuck. I thought you were gonna murder him.” Garrett’s shoulders sag with relief.
“I am gonna murder him.” I head for the drinks cabinet, not giving a shit that it’s only 8 am, it’s been a fuckin’ day already.
“Okay, I get that, and we’re all in agreement, but—”
“I ain’t listenin’ to yourbuts,Garrett. We can’t kill Mason, we can’t kill the mayor. I’m not putting Caleb on a waitlist.” I knock back what I’ve poured, then fix myself another.
“Wade, you know why we have to hold out on these things,” Garrett tries to remind me.
“I know why, but when ya see the girl ya love with a big, black fuckin’ eye she got from her husband, you kinda stop givin’ a fuck,” I toss it out at him.
My brothers both remain silent and when I look at Cole, he nods his head back at me. He’s the only person close to knowing how I feel, he stepped in too late to help the woman he loved, and now that woman’s dead.
“She hates me,” I tell ‘em, my eyes stinging from the tears they want to spill and my head pounding. I can hear how fuckin’ weak I sound and I hate it. “She blames me for everythin’ she’s going through and… Well, she’s fuckin’ right.” I turn my back on my brothers so they don’t see my tears and grip all my frustration into the side cabinet.
