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“You should lay there for a while, let the magic happen.” He taps my thigh before he heads into the bathroom for a shower, and I do as I’m told, holding up my middle finger at the door when he slams it shut.
“Not much chance of that, buddy. Not while I’m on the pill,”I say to myself, taking a small victory out of the mess that has become my life.
Of course, Caleb doesn’t know about the birth control I started taking before we got married. He made it perfectly clear that now we are, he has every intention of knocking me up. I just hope he’s ready for some disappointment.
I’m still lying on the bed when he comes out of the bathroom, whistling a cheery tune as he gets himself dressed for work.
“Make sure you’re ready for seven tonight. We have dinner with the Delaney’s.” He buttons up his shirt. “I’ll need my navy suit picking up from the dry cleaners, and I told John you’d help his wife with the church flowers this week.”
“But I don’t know anything about flower arranging.” I sit up and tug the oversized tee I’m wearing down my legs to cover them.
“That’s okay, darling, you will learn.” He comes toward me and strokes my cheek affectionately, and I have to fight against the urge to pull away.
“I was actually going to head over and see Maisie and the babies today.” Caleb told me last night that Cora Carson had been rushed to hospital, I can’t imagine how stressful it must be for Maisie to have to deal with that and three new babies.
Caleb laughs at me, a cruel, bitter laugh that makes me want to punch him right in his fucking face.
“What’s funny?” I take the bait.
“Leia, you're a Mason now. You don’t associate yourself with Carsons.” He shakes his head as he picks up his watch from the nightstand.
“Well, that's where you’re wrong. Maisie is my best friend. We may be married but you can’t control me like that.” I shake my head and move to head for the bathroom myself. He puts a stop to that when he grabs my throat and smashes me against the wall, making me choke on the breath he’s holding inside me.
“You wanna put that to the test?” he questions, tilting his head and enjoying the fear he’s seeing.
“You don’t have to do much, Leia, just be a good, respectful wife. You have a beautiful home, you have pretty things, and soon you will have a husband who runs this town. Be grateful for that.” He presses a kiss onto the top of my head before he pulls away, then after checking himself over in the mirror, he heads out the door.
I lean forward and get my breath back, searching around for my phone. I was so tired when we got back from his dad’s house last night, I must have forgotten to charge it. There’s still no sign of it when I go downstairs and search around in my handbag trying to locate it.
I growl in frustration and let myself slump onto the kitchen floor, pressing my head back against one of the kitchen units and wondering how the hell I got into this. A few weeks ago, I was happy. I had it all figured in my head. Wade was gonna find a way to get me out of this. He gave me hope and then he left me. And despite all that, I still find it really hard to hate him. If I think about him for too long I find it hard to even breathe. Caleb’s words ring in my head as I look around my beautiful, modern kitchen, with landscape views of mountains from one side and woodland from the other. It’s then I decide that ‘perfect’ has never been so fucking ugly.
* * *
The day passes slowly, and I stick to Caleb’s rules by only using the shiny new Mercedes, he gave me as a wedding gift, to pick up his suit and drive to the chapel to help Suzanna with the flowers for Sunday's service. I’m hoping Maisie will be up to coming this Sunday, at least that way I can see her. Surely Caleb won’t stop me from talking to her when we’re in public.
After a few hours of dreary talk, and a few thorn pricks later, I drive back home and start preparing myself for a night with the Delaineys. I remember them from our wedding reception. They're a couple in their fifties who live in one of the new builds on the outskirts of town. If I’m correct in remembering, Christopher used to be in corporate law and has already retired, while dear, little Fiona has never worked a day in her life and has the personality of a fish. My husband must see some kind of benefit from being their friend because all he’s done is talk about them. He’s acting like this invitation to dinner is some kind of golden ticket.
I hear the door open at six forty-five and finish applying my lip gloss before I head down the stairs. When Caleb looks at me from the bottom step, the frown on his face suggests I’ve done something wrong.
“Did you have a good day?” I ask, offering some fake enthusiasm as I take the stairs down toward him.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” He looks at the pretty, summer dress and cowgirl boots that I picked out to wear, as I lift my denim jacket off the hook by the door and shrug into it.
“Umm, a dress.”
“We’re not going for beers and chicken wings at Cahoots. Fiona has done three courses.”
“Wow, three courses.” I roll my eyes and smile sarcastically.
“Go upstairs and fucking change,” he tells me, shaking his head as he heads for the living room.
“You're kidding, right?” I follow after him. “I have spent all afternoon arranging flowers with the most boring person on the planet. I’m not allowed to speak to my friend. And now, you're telling me I can’t dress myself?” I wait for an explanation while he pours himself a drink.
“I guess that’s what I’m telling you.” He turns around and stares at me blankly.
“Well, you can fuck all the wayoff!” I turn around and go to head for the door and he quickly races after me, grabbing at my hair and yanking me back with it. He forces the top half of my body to bend forward over the arm of the couch, pushing my dress up my back, and when I try to fight against him his hold on me only gets tighter.
“Caleb, don’t,” I beg, starting to panic. Having sex with him has been bad enough. I’ve taken it as my duty and I’ve suffered it. This feels really fucking different.
