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All those muscles, especially now that she knew he’d had to work extra hard to get them.
Shit.
She escaped to the bathroom before she made a fool of herself some more. There, she stripped and got into the shower.
He hadn’t moved by the time she came back out, a towel wrapped around her body. Seraphina didn’t look at him as she allowed the towel to drop to the floor. Neither of them spoke as she propped first one foot then the other onto the edge of the bed and lotioned her legs, but she felt his gaze on her.
Had her ass sweating.
His gaze scoured her flesh, leaving her feeling dirty in the best possible way.
And still, she didn’t look at him.
His admiration drove her on so she straightened, lotioning the rest of her body with the silky body lotion. Her throat and chest. Cupping her tits, pulling on her nipples until a low growl filled the room.
She was slippery in no time, wet from his gaze and his clear appreciation for her form. She wasn’t one for artifice. Her body was what it was, an amazing testament to her age, to her life. All the cellulite and stretch marks. The dips on the outside of her thighs. The stomach pudge. Even her tits that had lost their perkiness before she hit her twenties.
She didn’t wish for that body back just as she didn’t wish for that life back.
Toro didn’t seem to mind it and while she’d never been the type to seek validation from outside sources, his expression when she finally glanced up at him—wild and hungry, his body tilted toward her as if he was barely stopping himself from reaching out and yanking her onto the bed with him—teased the heat in her lower belly and sent her clit to throbbing.
She donned a knee-length, sheer nightie and crawled into the bed, holding his gaze until she was next to him, back against the pillows.
“What else do I need to know?” she asked softly. “About the man you are and what it means to be with you.”
He didn’t speak for a while, and when he finally did his voice was deep and gravelly. “I take T shots. Testosterone?” When she nodded, he said, “You might see me doing that from time to time. Other meds too.”
“They’re safe?” she asked. “You’re safe?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
“Okay. Anything else?”
“No feminine words for my body parts, please. I opted not to have bottom surgery,” he told her. “That’s basically where they create a penis. My actual dick isn’t proportionate to a cis man’s, but in the larger scheme of things, I didn’t think I needed it to be who I was supposed to be. That’s not the case for everyone in my position, it just wasn’t for me.”
“You have a dick? I’m not trying to be crass or—” She cocked her head, trying to understand.
“Oh, Sera.” He flashed a grin, cocky and confident and as sexy as the man himself. “I’ve got a myriad of dicks, all of them ready whenever you are.” He leaned closer, nose brushing her cheek. “I know you like variety.”
She couldn’t hold back the giggle that fell from her lips. “I really fucking do.” She paused then asked, “How is it I’ve never heard about this? Who knows about you?”
He shrugged. “I share it with potential partners who I know I can trust—admittedly those have been few and far between—but as far as business associates and stuff like that? Nah. Only my family knows. They protect me and I love and appreciate them for it.”
“Were you worried I would reject you?” She was proud of the reputation she’d meticulously calculated, but it didn’t sit right thinking that he feared for even a second that she would reject him.
His expression turned pensive. “I hoped you wouldn’t, that you would listen without judgment.” His eyes were luminous when he said, “And that you would see that I am me. Just me.”
There wasn’t anyjustwhen it came to him, but she swallowed those words before she blurted them out. “Why Toro? Where’d you come up with that name?”
He chuckled. “It means bull in Spanish. And when I first started to transition, I struggled so much, my appearance and all that, I wanted something to reflect how I felt on the inside. I asked my uncle to call me that and it stuck.”
“I like it,” she whispered. “But I’m partial to Julián.”
He grinned. And she loved that way too much. Silence fell over them, thick but comforting.
She swallowed then spoke. “I once buried a man alive just to hear him scream. To watch him break.”
He cocked his head. “Why are you telling me that?”
