AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Her lips twisted and she let out a sound that, if she’d been aiming for it to be a laugh, fell way short of the mark. “I was forced to sleep with him by my husband. So, no.” She shook her head. “I didn’t love him.”
Toro stared at her. She’d alluded before to not having always been comfortable in her strength, to giving others power over her. Seraphina Cook being forced to do anything was such a foreign concept, it was difficult to see it in his mind’s eye. Her expression was serene, almost accepting as she studied him, but anguish glistened in her eyes. She’d been through some things, he was aware of that fact now more than ever. And he remembered the meeting she’d had with a man she clearly despised, who’d reciprocated that loathing tenfold. That Dutch guy she’d allowed to see her vulnerable for no other reason than—
“You want your son.”
She stared at him, gaze hard. It would have made him flinch if he were someone else. “My son is theonlyperson in this world I care about. Nothing and no one else matters.”
Funny how mere words could slice so deeply. How he could be knocked off his feet and still remain seated in that bed, next to the woman he wanted to give everything to, while she talked as if he didn’t matter. While she expresslytoldhim he didn’t matter. But Toro couldn’t let his mind settle on that. Not now. His suffering couldn’t ever count if lined up next to hers. He was beginning to get the idea of where her words originated. And why. She’d been let down. She’d been taken advantage of by men who were supposed to love and cherish her. She’d been destroyed; he didn’t have to ask to know. Though he wanted to ask.
He wanted the story of what created the hurt in her eyes. The misery in her voice.
Hurt people hurt people.
Seraphina Cook was a gorgeous, statuesque figure filled with torment and unrealized pain. But she was resilient and she remained strong enough that she could do whatever she needed to in order to forge past it and build something new.
With him.
If she wanted.
He had to stop pushing. She needed to come to that realization on her own. He couldn’t step in and fix her. He didn’t want to because it wasn’t his place. But more than that, he knew enough to know she wouldn’t allow it.
He admired that in her so much.
“I was forced to let Israel go once,” she told him, voice little more than a hiss. “A repeat performance is not happening.”
But it was happening, wasn’t it? She didn’t know where Israel was. Her son wanted nothing to do with her. What little Toro knew about Israel, he understood how dangerous he was. So much like his mother now that Toro thought about it. Israel was also Donovan’s brother.
Shit.The connections were like spiderwebs connecting Toro and Seraphina.
Maybe Israel didn’t mean it, but he was now another one of the men in Seraphina’s life bringing her pain. A whole story came to life behind her eyes, illuminated by the words “forced to let him go.” Toro didn’t know if he should ask her to relive it so that he could better understand her. He knew some things, aided by a half-formed picture of Seraphina’s life, but he was greedy to know it all, to know everything about the woman beside him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. He leaned forward and put his forehead against hers. Her breath wafted over him gently as he inhaled the scent of her. She could unman him so easily, with a breath and a blink of her lashes. The power she had over him was insane. He wanted an exchange of that power. He wanted to affect her the way she affected him. But this couldn’t be about him. Not now, at least. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “For whatever you went through. For whoever hurt you. I’m sorry—” His voice cracked. “I’m sorry that you’re missing your son, Sera.” He couldn’t imagine anything worse, not being able to see your child or be close to them. It had to be torture.
She made a sound, low and mournful. And she trembled against him.
Toro touched her. Both hands on her shoulders, smoothing down to her forearms and back. Trying to soothe her and himself too because her heartbreak flowed outward and into him, hitching his breath.
“I’m sorry.” He kept chanting the words as he brushed her nose with his, their lips touching but not. As she made those sounds, involuntarily if he had to guess. “I’m sorry.”
When he’d been in his hospital bed, writhing in pain from surgery, teeth gritted as he fought to stifle his cries, his Uncle Daniel had knelt beside him and grabbed his hand, squeezing as he told Toro,“You are strong, but you cannot be strong all the time. It is not natural. There must be a balance. Embrace the pain. Feel it. Let the tears come.”
Toro had bawled into his uncle’s chest for hours.
Seraphina didn’t cry for him, but she tilted her head back to meet his eyes, her own shimmering as she cupped his jaw. “Julián.”
He loved that.
Adored it.
His chosen name on her lips made him feel as if she wasn’t fighting him and the possibility ofthemso much.
“You are special.” She sounded hoarse and filled with regret. “You’re so special, Julián.”
But he didn’t want her regrets. And he damn sure didn’t want to be special, not if he didn’t have her fully, body and soul. He didn’t want to be special if it meant she’d use it to push him away.
He brushed his lips over the corner of her mouth. “Let me make you feel better. Whatever’s on your mind that’s got you looking and sounding so fucking sad…” He leaned back, tracing a finger down the elegant curve of her neck. “Let me remove it. Let me give you new memories, Sera. Better ones.”
She stared deeply into his eyes and Toro got the feeling she was searching for something. He didn’t hide from her. Hell, he didn’t think he even could. Still, he held his breath.
