AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Jamie stood and faced me. “I know things won’t be fixed tomorrow, but I will make it right between us.”
I had the urge to tell him not to bother and that it had been a mistake to ask him not to give up. I couldn’t find my way back to myself. So how the hell were we going to be anusagain?
I was saved from having to respond to him when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Brenna poked her head in. “Breakfast is here.” She looked from Jamie to me and the bed between us. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” I said.
She didn’t look like she believed me, but she didn’t call me out. “Want me to bring you a plate?”
I nodded and she left, but not before she gave Jamie a stern look.
“Your little protector is going to kick me out when she gets back,” he said, clearly annoyed.
“That’s because I told her not to let anyone in the house. Did you sneak in last night?” I asked him.
He just smirked and headed for the door.
* * *
A handful of days passed by in a blur. I spent the majority in bed resting or taking care of the baby. I had told my goons not to let anyone in the house, but I quickly realized how that order had gone in one ear and out the other. Brody stopped by every day to fuss over me and fawn over the baby. Stefan visited at least once a day. Every time, he asked how I was feeling. Every time I answered evasively, and he knew but didn’t push for the truth. He didn’t ask what had happened while I’d been gone for four months, either. I appreciated his patience as much as I was highly suspicious of it. It wasn’t in Stefan’s nature not to push for answers.
Jamie snuck in every night to watch over me and help with the baby. I tried once to make him leave. It didn’t work. Every night after that, I’d pretended to be asleep when he’d show up. A few times, it was highly entertaining listening to him interact with the baby.
Last night Jamie had let out a tired sigh. “Why won’t you go back to sleep? It’s two in the morning.”
The night before, as I had lain there listening, I’d had to turn my face into my pillow to hide the smile that had threatened to stretch across my face as Jamie had cursed. “Do you spit up on everyone else or do you wait until I show up?”
Yesterday, before Jamie had left that morning, he had brought up Louie again. “He asks about you.”
“I know what you’re going to ask me and I’m not ready,” I had said. It had been the truth.
When Jamie had just nodded and left with zero argument, I’d realized then that the two pushiest, pain-in-the-ass men in my life were being way too understanding. In the end, because they were giving me what I wanted, I didn’t insist to know why. I didn’t have it in me to care, either.
Other than the short and quiet cry I’d had in the shower the day I’d arrived home to take the edge off, I’d been just existing with my darkness holding everything I had yet to deal with—Louie, what I’d gone through when I’d been taken, and everything that had happened in the past four months—at bay. It wouldn’t last, though. I’d eventually have to face the music and that made me feel like a ticking time bomb counting down to zero.
Today my time ran out. I knew as soon as I woke up, feeling like chains were wrapped around my middle. It was just the blankets, but I still kicked them off in a panic and sat up.
“Everything okay?” I heard Brenna ask.
I found her sitting in the armchair with a textbook in her lap. I was a little surprised not to see Jamie there. Stefan must have called on him early this morning to do mob shit.
I exhaled heavily. “Yeah.”
As the day went on, I felt my darkness less and less as memories kept hitting me unexpectedly. The baby’s eyes reminded me of Amelia’s, and it was like falling down a rabbit hole. I couldn’t stop remembering her standing in the kitchen, the look on her face.
After that, I called Brody and asked if he would take the baby for a while. He had errands to run and was happy to take the baby along with him. The idea of Brody leaving the property with him made me feel uneasy, so I sent Dean and Asher with them just in case.
Knowing Brenna had schoolwork to do, I convinced her to do it somewhere else in the house so I could watch TV.
The moment she left the room, I felt like I could breathe a little. I turned on the TV that was mounted to the wall just for show and I tried to relax. I couldn’t. The noises on the TV agitated me to the point I had to turn it off. The silence was worse. Panic was rushing toward me.
The sound of Buck’s belt echoed in my head. The pain of the first lash. Amelia begging. The sound of the table creaking.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them. I began rocking as Amelia’s screams played over and over in my mind.
“Maura?” I heard Brenna say before a hand touched my arm.
I jerked from her touch and fisted my hair with both of my hands. I just wanted the screaming to stop. “Go away, Brenna.”
