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“I wish I could take on your guilt and fight it for you.” His thumb brushed across my cheek again. Not to wipe away a tear, but in a way that was loving.
I wouldn’t wish what I was feeling right now on anyone.
* * *
“Is this it?” Colt asked as we pulled up to an iron gate that blocked a narrow, winding road.
“This is it,” I said as I got out of the Jeep. I walked up to the side of the gate where there was a little black box nailed to a post. I opened the box, revealing a keypad. After I entered in the seven-digit code, the gate beeped and began to slide open.
I climbed back into the Jeep and drove through. About halfway to the house, the road changed from asphalt to dirt.
I caught Colt staring out the window, taking in the forest all around us. “It’s really isolated,” he commented.
“I think the nearest neighbor is fifteen acres to the west,” I said.
He glanced at me. “You think?”
“I’ve only been here once, right before I moved to Arizona,” I explained. “When I decided to rejoin civilization and restart my life, Logan insisted that I have another location to run to besides Alaska. It’s not only farther to get to Alaska, but I also told everyone in Arizona that I was from there. The safe house I have there is even more isolated than this and would be difficult to find, but not impossible if Mr. X came searching.”
“Why did you even tell anyone that you were from Alaska to begin with?” he asked.
“Because I’m a terrible liar and lies are easier to keep track of if there’s some truth to them.”
He nodded his understanding and returned to staring out the window just in time for the cabin to come into view. I saw my 4Runner parked outside the one-story log cabin. I exhaled audibly, feeling relieved.
“I’m relieved to see they’re here, too,” Colt said.
I parked Keelan’s Jeep next to my 4Runner and the moment I shut off the car, the front door of the cabin opened. Knox stepped out onto the front porch, then Keelan and Creed.
As Colt and I climbed out, they looked from me to Colt and relief washed over each of them. Creed and Keelan rushed off the porch for us. Creed beelined for Colt. I watched him pass and it almost seemed as though he was refusing to look at me. Just as I began to feel unsettled by that, Keelan threw his arms around me, enveloping me with warmth. It was freezing here, and I was certain it would snow either tonight or tomorrow.
Keelan squeezed me tightly. “You scared the shit out of us.”
I barely had time to hug him back before he pulled away just enough to face me. His eyes bounced all over my face and neck. He cupped my cheek and ran his hand over the scratch there. He looked like he was about to question me about it when a hand grabbed me by my elbow just below where my arm was bandaged.
I looked to see who it was and found Knox standing next to us, frowning at where I had been shot.
“What happened?” he asked as his eyes traveled to the cuts on my neck and cheek.
Keelan released me, taking his warmth with him.
I turned my body toward Knox. “I’m fine.”
Colt and Creed joined us then. “She was shot,” Colt said.
“What?” Keelan gaped as Knox’s hand tightened around my elbow.
“I’m fine,” I repeated and pulled my arm from Knox’s grasp. He let go of me the moment I tried to pull away. Beginning to shiver, I folded my arms over my chest. “Why don’t we go in—”
“Stop fucking lying to us, Shi,” Creed snapped. The anger in his voice startled me.
I whirled to face his clearly unhappy stare. “I’m not lying. I’m okay.” My words just seemed to piss him off more. “You’re angry with me?”
“You left us, Shi,” he said. His voice wasn’t loud, but his tone was harsh and strained, as if it was taking everything in him to not combust. “You lied, played us for fools, and then took off. Do you have any idea how hard it was to leave you and come here? To trust that you’d be able to do as you said? We didn’t know where you were, if you were okay...” The more he spoke, the more upset he got. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. “You promised, Shi. Run or fight, as long as we’re together. You fucking promised me.”
“Creed,” Colt said, taking my hand in his. “She had to. She—”
I cut him off by pulling my hand away. “You’re right, I broke my promise.” My voice sounded numb—vacant. “Be mad at me, Creed. Fucking hate me. I hurt you. I scared you. I’m sorry for that and so much more.” The numbness in my voice spread to the rest of me until I wasn’t feeling cold anymore. “But I’m not sorry for what I had to do to save your brother. There wasn’t any time and I had to make a tough call very quickly that made sure we all ended up safe.”
