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“Shiii…loooh,” he whispered as he pushed me flat on my back and climbed over me. “I have missed you.”
I tried to move, to scream. I had to just lie there as he shoved up my top, exposing my breasts.
Fear and nausea churned in my belly as he touched me, kissed me. He didn’t let go of one of my breasts as he moved his head down to my scars and he licked each one. A mumble forced its way out of me: “I’m too tired.”
He didn’t listen or didn’t care. He continued to focus on the scars on my stomach with his lips and tongue. Then he ran the tip of his fingers over each one. It was like he was admiring and adoring his work—his marks of possession.
I wanted to scream. I already was in my head, begging myself to move, for someone to help me.
He moved farther down my body and pushed my legs open with his knee. I knew what he was about to do and all I could do was mentally prepare for it.
Tears were finally able to pool in my eyes when he buried his face between my legs. Those tears escaped me, along with a whimper, as he ran his nose over me through my pajama shorts. As he pressed his face against me and inhaled deeply, my chest was heaving up and down rapidly. It was then that I felt that I could scream, and it tore through me. The force behind it was so strong, my throat burned so bad I was sure it was tearing apart.
* * *
The feel of someone shaking me and the pain in my throat was what pulled me from my nightmare. I opened my eyes mid-scream, finding Keelan above me. His eyes were wide and his hands were gripping my shoulders. My scream died off at the same time a crash sounded in the room. Keelan let go of me to look behind him, toward the door. Knox had stormed in with Creed and Colt right behind him.
“She was having a nightmare,” Keelan said quickly, trying to calm the panic that was all over their faces. They had to have known that I’d been having a nightmare, but given what had happened, I could see why they might have thought my screaming could have been for another reason.
Had it been a nightmare, though? Or my subconscious revealing the truth?
After finding Jacob’s body in my house and my gut had been screaming that Mr. X had found me, for a small moment I’d had a sickening thought that my dream of Knox coming to me in the middle of the night not only hadn’t been a dream, but it also hadn’t been Knox who had climbed into bed with me. I had almost voiced that worry to my guys as well, but things had kept happening and I’d let it go. I’d convinced myself that it had been, in fact, just a dream. It was easier that way because the alternative was too terrible to bear.
I should have known that I wouldn’t be so lucky. Maybe seeing Mr. X in the flesh at Desert Stone was what was jogging my memory and making me face the truth.
I felt dirty, as if every inch of my skin had become tainted. What made it worse was that I could still feel the way he’d touched me.
I sobbed in a way that rocked my whole body. I felt so heavy all I could do was roll away from Keelan and slide off the side of the bed to the floor. I wanted to run, to escape my skin, and knowing that was impossible made me feel trapped.
“Baby?” Keelan said and I felt the bed move.
I crawled away, not wanting to be touched. Tears leaked from my eyes as I turned onto my butt and scooted backward until my back ran into the wall. With blurry eyes, I looked from one of my boyfriends to the others.
“Shi?” Creed said as he moved toward me.
“No!” I put my hand out as if to stop him and he froze. My lungs tightened up, making it harder to breathe.
Mr. X must have drugged me. It was why I hadn’t been able to wake up the next morning. The more things began to really sink in, a terrifying thought popped into my head. Had Mr. X really stopped when I’d pleaded with him?
“Please… Let’s do this tomorrow.”Had the promise of sex at a later time convinced him to stop or had he waited until I’d fallen back to sleep to continue?
Had he done more to me?
Did he rape me?
My chest hurt as it heaved. This high-pitched, raspyheesound came out of me each time I tried to inhale. Not enough air was getting in.
“Shiloh?” Knox said as he took a step forward.
I got on my hands and knees, unable to just sit there. Drops of tears dotted the floor by my hands. “I can’t breathe,” I quickly forced out with a strangled voice.
Strong arms lifted me off the floor and carried me hurriedly across the room. We were in the bathroom within a blink and by the next I was set on my feet in the shower. Knox turned me to face him, wrapped an arm around me to hold me up as he turned on the shower. Ice-cold water rained down on us, shocking me enough to make me gasp and my lungs expand.
“Breathe,” Knox said as he pushed wet hair away from my face.
I took in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.
“That’s it,” he praised. “Do it again.”
