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He sighed again. “I know. You’re right.”
My whole body started shaking.How did I let this happen?
Everything in me hurt. My chest burned with anger, but above all, my entire being—my soul—felt exposed.
The battle going on inside of me was making the walls of the small closet close in and the air nonexistent. I was having a panic attack. I’d had a few in the past, so I recognized all the signs. The best way to stop it was to regain control. I tried to grab ahold of said control, through the black hole of my overwhelming emotions, only to have it slip through my fingers like sand. I couldn’t get a firm grip, not with the constant reminder in the other room.
Then get rid of the reminder,my darkness whispered from deep, very deep within me.
No!I shook my head violently.I can’t go back.
The pain intensified in my chest. Sweat beaded on my skin, plastering my hair to my neck and face. Temptation slithered inside me as my panic attack worsened. My darkness rose and rose as my will faltered. I shouldn’t have given in, but I was helpless to stop it. Enveloping me like warm water in a bath, the darkness consumed me, breaking to the surface.
I didn't know how much time had passed. A minute? Two minutes? I wasn’t sure, but the change in me was fast.
A strange calmness took over, banishing the attack that had wreaked havoc on my body. It felt like a differentbeingcontrolled me with its own thoughts and feelings. Except it wasn’t a different being. It was me—a part of me—the darkness I’d suppressed for so long in my attempt to be normal. Now, the seal was broken.
As I reached for my gun safe on the shelf, I found myself numb. There was no internal debate or unsettled feelings with what I was about to do. Just purpose. The gun had been a gift from my father before I'd left for college, as a means to protect myself. I entered in the safe’s code and pulled out a sleek silver pistol and matching silencer. The silencer had been a gift from my father’s enforcer, Jameson. My family was… complicated.
I screwed on the silencer as I listened in on what was going on in the other room. Tom was talking about going downstairs to get something, then teased Tina aboutround two.I scrunched my nose.
I peeked out to see Tom leaving the room in only his boxers. Tina was laying on her stomach, playing on her phone. Her back was to me, which was giving me a direct view of her skanky ass.
I pushed open the closet door soundlessly and stepped toward the bed. The floor creaked beneath my foot. The sound wasn’t loud but still pierced the silence like a bowling ball tossed through a china shop.
I froze.
“Back for round two, baby?” she teased, turning around. Her eyes widened when they met mine. I was too quick for her to react in any other way. Raising my gun, I struck her as hard as I could across the temple. Her body flew back on the bed, unconscious, blood trickling down the side of her face. I took a seat next to her legs on the bed and waited.
Tom had a smile on his face and a bounce in his step when he returned.
Until he saw me.
His smile fell as he stood frozen in shock. He noticed my gun before his focus shifted to Tina behind me. Fear took root in his light brown eyes. He lifted his hands, palms out. I knew he was going to try toexplain,spewing nothing but excuses. It was what any cheating, lying bastard would do. What he didn’t know was that he was already dead to me. He opened his mouth to speak; I took aim just like my father had taught me and shot him in the knee.
He yelled out in pain, falling to the floor. Time ceased as I stood to make my way over to him. I didn’t rush, even though I probably should have with how loud he was being, but I couldn’t bring myself to move any faster. I wanted him to suffer.
If I hadn't been so pissed off, it would have been comical the way he was rolling on the floor, cradling his knee, writhing in pain. I used the toe of my boot to push him onto his back and held him there. I aimed my pistol again, then started emptying the clip into his groin, pulling the trigger over and over again. His body jerked beneath my foot, his screams filling the room. I kept pulling the trigger, counting each release until I was down to the last bullet. I put that into his head.
The screaming came to an abrupt stop, but it still rang in my ears. I glanced over at Tina. Still lying there unconscious, her chest rose and fell with even breaths.
With empty pistol in hand, I walked back to the bed, only slowing to scoop up the silk tie Tom had been wearing that day off the floor. I set my gun on the nightstand next to the bed before I rolled Tina onto her stomach.
I climbed onto the bed to straddle her back, pinning her arms beneath my legs. Wrapping Tom’s tie around her neck twice, I got a good grip and pulled it tight with all my strength.
She came to when her airway was cut off. She thrashed beneath me. I pulled the tie even tighter, until my muscles burned and my arms started to shake. She struggled longer than I'd thought she would.
Long after her body stilled, I released my hold on the tie. With labored breaths, I climbed off of her, grabbed my gun, and calmly made my way downstairs.
