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Out the window, the twinkling lights of homes and streetlights dot the shadowy landscape. The buzz of my phone vibrating has me turning around. She’s gone. I’m not surprised. She called me a quitter, but she quit before we even got out of the gate. Which is exactly what I should expect from someone who is so much younger. I don’t have any business dating someone in her twenties. Who the fuck am I kidding? I don’t even fucking date.
I dig my phone out of the carryall I stuffed with the few things I grabbed on the way out of the master bedroom. There’s a text from Ryan.
Ryan:
R u with Sophia?
Me:
Y
He thumbs-up my response. I wait for anything else. But there’s nothing.
I stretch my neck to the left and right, loosening my tight shoulder muscles. Should I approach her? There’s really no point.
The dull throb in my head intensifies, and I dig through my toiletries bag for aspirin.
I can’t think about this. I don’t want to think about this.
Sophia appears at the bathroom door. “Fisher?”
“Yes.” I grip the edge of the counter for support.
Through the mirror, I watch as she slides down the wall, onto her butt, and her legs stretch out across the floor. She gestures to the floor across from her, in front of the cabinets. “Sit.”
I exhale. Frustration? Bullshit emotion? I’m not sure. It won’t kill me to sit, so I do, opposite of her in the spot indicated. “Why are we sitting on the bathroom floor?”
“To talk.” She says it matter-of-factly.
I rub my aching head and bend my legs, preparing to stand. This is ridiculous.
“This is how my dad and Ava handle things, when they get upset with each other. I walked in on them once. Both sitting cross-legged on the floor. Neither looked happy. I walked right out, but asked Ava about it later.”
“Logical.” She’s a therapist, so it’s not surprising that she’s big into talking.
“I’ve never been in a relationship before… I mean, not in a mature relationship before. But I thought maybe we should try it.”
“Sitting on the floor?” Yes, I’m being a jackass, but I’m probably dehydrated from the long workout this morning followed by a frantic afternoon and one helluva emotional rollercoaster.
“Communicating.” Whisper blue eyes flash to mine, and my heart cinches. “Because maybe we weren’t in a relationship before. And maybe it’s not what either of us wants. But when I walked back into that room, and I thought it was just…whatever we have was just…it hurt way too much for it to just be sex. And if it’s a relationship, then our first step would be talking. You know, putting it out there. Talking.”
CHAPTER31
SOPHIA
Somewhere along the way, I mastered locking down emotions. But the last few days busted the locks and chains. The cold tile seeps through my clothes and exacerbates the chill permeating my skin. My fingers tremble, and the slight tremor captures my attention. I wipe one shaky hand across my cheek, to calm the spasms, then pull back and touch my fingers. They’re wet.
Crying is not my normal. I am strong, yet here I am breaking down. And he’s just sitting there. What are we doing here? I’m an idiot. He didn’t dive into this for a relationship. Neither of us did. Who am I kidding? We don’t have what my dad and stepmom have. It’s not even close. I push up off the ground, needing space.
Warm fingers clutch my cold ones and tug me onto his lap. His thumb strokes my cheek.
“Hey.” He draws out the word, and the softness in his deep, comforting tone ratchets up a swirl of feelings that climb my throat, threatening to choke me. “It’s okay.”
He brushes my hair behind my ear and tilts my chin up.
“I’m not opposed to talking.” The pad of his index finger smooths over my lips. Caring, dark eyes pour over me, warming me. “I care about you, Sophia. A lot. Probably too much.”
“I care about you, too.”I love you. The thought wells up unbidden.
