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For a moment he’s not in any rush to move, still buried deep inside me as his fingers brush the hair from my face, and map the contours of my lips. It’s as if he’s trying to memorize it. It’s such a simple little gesture, but one that makes my heart swell, and feel as if I’m cherished.
It’s a moment I’ll never forget. The look in his eyes, the gentle caresses, the sweet kisses… I’ve missed them. Honestly, I didn’t realize how much until I got a chance to feel it again. To have him stare at me as if the world doesn’t exist, that there’s only me. It’s rare, and something I’ll never take for granted ever again.
15
Alice
“There are clothes that should fit in the closet. It’s not like the late queen will be using them, anyway,” he says, turning over in bed to rest his head on the pillow and draping the velvet blanket over his middle.
Is that a joke? We’re on joking terms now? That was fast. I offer him a slanted smile, slipping out of bed, and feeling his eyes on me as I make my way into the bathroom.
My closet…Oh, how I’ve missed it. I’ve been able to pop new clothes into existence since Asmo taught me to create things in the temple, but it’s nice to have something of mine. Not something new, but that’s truly mine to wear. I make quick work, sliding on new pants and exit into the main room while I finish tugging a fresh shirt over my head.
“What’s your name?”
My body stills as I cast a glance over my shoulder. “Alice?”
“You can drop the act. I appreciate you playing the part, and it did bring me closure, but I’d like to knowyourname. You’rerealname.”
Something twists in my chest as I turn toward him. “Alice Whittaker.”
He snorts, rolling his eyes before pressing his lips into a firm line. “Look, I know you’re trying to help. That everyone in this bloody kingdom is worried for my well-being, and I appreciate you giving me closure with… I’m not sure if you can shapeshift, or if this is some sort of magical glamour, but I can’t just pretend you’re her and move on.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t have to.”
“What is your name?” he asks again, packing power behind his command, stronger than I’ve ever felt him use.
“Alice Whittaker,” I say as small sparks zap around my fingers. I fight like hell to keep the flames, burning from his rejection, contained. How could he not know it’s me after what we just shared? Is sex with me not special to him at all?
“I know you’re not her. My Alice doesn’t–didn’t–cower when I’m angry. If anything, she’d have waltzed up to me and slapped the demonic eyes off my face. Not to mention she purrs when she comes.”
Apparently not anymore. Immortal Alice seems to have her familiar traits more under control. Though, I’m sure they’d become stronger, like they did before, the moment Luri and I reconnect our bond.
He stands, sliding his pants back on and walking toward me. “I miss her with everything I have, but I’d know if it was her standing in front of me. The moment she reentered my life, the fates would drive their needles beneath my flesh. I’d be paranoid around every turn that she’s going to get hurt. I don’t know who you are, but you’re not her.”
Obviously, you know nothing, my king.
“I wish she was alive,” he continues, “There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t, but a part of me also feels relieved. With her gone, the fates leave me alone. I hate that I feel more at peace than ever, because I loved her with every ounce of my soul… It’s not so much the grief that has me trapped in this room, unwilling to leave the things she loved. It’s guilt.”
He drops his head, picking at his fingernails. “I should’ve saved her. I should’ve done a lot of things differently, but I can stomach those errors. I can’t stomach the fact I wish being with her was as simple as it is with you standing here. That we could’ve been normal… As long as she was alive, I would’ve never been able to bring myself to walk away, no matter how much I felt like I was drowning. I loved her too much to let go, yet it was torture to live in a constant state of obsession.”
Everything inside me falls numb as I register what he’s confessed. I knew the deal took a toll on him, but never in my life would I believe he had said those words without hearing them for myself.
“Well then… I’m glad you found your peace,” I force the words through my gritted teeth, not daring to meet his eyes.
“I owe that to you… My last memory of her wasn’t good, and even though I knew you weren’t her, it gave me a moment to pretend.”
It takes every ounce of will I can muster to smile, to keep myself together. “You’re going to be a fantastic king,” I say, sniffing as the tears flood my eyes. “I’m sure that there’s nothing more that she would’ve wanted for you than your happiness.”
“Thank you,” he says, his lips twitching up for a split second. “If there’s anything I can get you, don’t hesitate. I owe you a great debit.” He bites his lower lip, taking one last look at me.
“That truly won’t be necessary, but I really should go.”
“Right. Would you like me to walk you out?”
The door creaking open draws our eyes and I hear Asmo whispering through the crack.“Mouse!Are you in there?”
Panic sets in as I quickly make haste toward the door. “I’m coming,” I say, sniffing before the oaf gives this charade away.
