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If what Kai said is true, he’s better off believing I’m dead. Clearly, he’s fighting to believe that I’m truly here anyway, which tells me a part of him is hoping I stay gone. Whether he is conscious of it or not. I’m not sure I blame him… If being with him had felt the way he described, I’d be relieved, too.
Before I can stop him, Asmo opens the door, standing to his full height and hurrying inside. A cloak ties around his throat and the black hood hangs low enough to cover most of his scarred eye. His hand tugs it back just enough to look me up and down before narrowing his gaze on Kai. If it weren’t for me being shorter and standing directly in front of him, I might not be able to see his eyes at all.
“What did he do?” he seethes in a tone that makes my skin crawl.
“Don’t worry about it. We should go.Now.” I try to push him, but it’s like attempting to move a steel mountain. Luckily, he doesn’t argue his question more until we’re out in the hall.
The moment the door closes, I smack him hard in the chest. “The better question is, what didyoudo, and where the fuck is your mustache? And this…” I flip the open edge of his cloak. “Where did this come from?”
“I fucked up. I went looking for my mother and found my father locked in a cell, then was dumb enough to talk to him, pretending to be a maid. Needless to say, he didn’t fall for the act and reached through the bars to rip my mustache off.”
“Of course he didn’t fall for it. His son and Finn use them to fool everyone else in the castle. He’s very aware of the enchanted mustache’s existence, just as he knows every single maid and staff member in this castle by heart.”
“How was I to know that?” I don’t answer and he shakes his head, grabbing onto my forearm to siphon me. I feel him pull on my power as he speaks. “As for the clock, I took it off one of the creepy as fuck armor statues in the hall. I had to teleport up here to avoid being seen and it nearly took all of my magic to do it.” He turns his other arm over, the one with the metal cuff, showing me the lights on the inside of his cuff. “See.”
So that’s what he’s been looking at.
I shuffle in place, hoping he can get us out of here before Kai puts two and two together. He’ll be forced to believe it was me if he recognized his brother, and I’d rather him find peace in believing I’m gone than drag him back to that godawful place, where he feels like he’s drowning. Where his love for me inhibits him from doing what will make him happy.
“If he hurt you…” Asmo says, and I snap my eyes toward his, daring him to continue.
“You’d what? You hate me. What does it matter to you?” He cranes his neck to peer at the door we just came through, avoiding my glare.
“I do hate you, but it doesn’t mean it’s okay. You’re supposed to be making up with him, yet somehow you’ve managed to look sadder than when we came here.”
“This is taking too long. We need to get to your room. At any moment, he could come out and demand to know who you are and if he sees your face… He’ll know I’m not dead.”
Asmo’s head tilts as he eyes me. “Wasn’t the whole point of coming here–” his words cut off as I jerk him after me, heading to the stairwell.
“Walk and talk.”
“I thought the entire point was for him to know you’re not dead. Why would you want him to believe you’re gone?”
“That’s not a simple answer.” We descend the stairs, our feet flying down the ledges until I get to the floor Asmo’s room is hidden on. Thanks to Kai’s temper tantrums, the castle is next to empty and we don’t run into anyone as we speed down the hall to where I scorched the stone.
“Try to answer it, Alice. Why would we risk our lives to come back here if you weren’t going to tell him you’re here? How would he not get that when you’re clearly right in front of me?”
My hands scour the stone surface until I can feel the metal of a doorknob, even if my eyes can’t see it. Twisting it, I push it open and force my way through the stone, that ripples easily around my body, then shove a hand through to usher Asmo in. He follows and the moment I close the door, he pushes his hood back to scowl at me.
“Answer me, Alice.” This time, lacing power in his words. Power I gave him.
“Stop that.” I point a finger at his chest, poking him in the sternum. “I know what you’re doing, and yeah, it helped me before, but it doesn’t mean you get to use your little magic trick to get me to do your bidding.”
“I’m not sure–”
I cut him off, running my hands through my hair. “Kai told me about your mother’s ability to push thoughts into someone’s head. That she could make them believe it was their intention to do so all along. It can’t be a coincidence that every time I feel your power in the air, I’m compelled to do as you say.”
His lips part and he takes a step back, clasping his hands together behind him. “Fine… Then please, give me something.”
“I tried to tell him. I did. He didn’t want to believe it. He thought I was some hussy shapeshifter here to fuck the king out of his depression. To make matters worse, he slept with me. I thought he finally realized it was me, that I was here and alive and well… Only for him to ask my real name afterward.”
Asmo’s eyes round as he stares at the ground, not saying a word.
“I wanted to be mad…” I say, hiding my face with my hands. “Fuck, I wanted to scream at him for it, because how could he not know? Then it made sense. He told me that loving me felt like he was drowning. That he was helpless against it, yet the obsession of trying to protect me, even when I wasn’t in harm’s way, was torture. I didn’t know his father’s deal… I didn’t know.”
My hands fall to my side with a smack.
“You don’t think he would kill for a chance to feel like he’s drowning again, just to know that the love of his life is alive?” he says the words so quietly, I almost don’t hear them.
