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I hate to think I’m a product of such…violence.Though, I can’t imagine if he raped her, my mother would ever find a way to love him again. My father might be able to lie, but my mother was never a good actress. She didn’t have a poker face and she wore her emotions on her sleeve. I saw the way they looked at one another. They were madly in love.
“I didn’t force her to do anything. Again, you saw what you wanted to see…” This time, his tone is more clipped. His patience is waning.
My blood heats in my veins as my teeth grind. “Then what happened? From what I saw–”
“Your mother had a witch scry the future, and found out that Asmo and I die. In this world, even the one me and the other fallen angels created, there are some customs we can’t change. They were born from my blood brothers and sisters who ruled this world before the angels and I came back to resurrect it. Their traditions passed through generations and no rule spoken by some king will alter it… If all living male heirs to the crown die…”
“The widow is given to the next king,” I finish the phrase for him, catching his hand darting up to wipe away a tear. “That is, unless she can prove strong enough to hold the crown herself.”
“Your mother wouldn’t have been strong enough. She wasn’t like Alice and the things I decreed would’ve died along with me. That’s the way it’s been for eons.” He looks over his shoulder, playing with his bread in his lap. He hasn’t taken a single bite of it. “I convinced your mother to try for another child–for you–in hopes that when the war with Heaven comes, a Morningstar would live to take up the crown. She was upset, yes, but she consented to trying. Asmo walked in and misread the room. She was crying and had started to change her mind. Even if he hadn’t come in, I would’ve stopped. And I can assure you, you were not conceived that night.”
He turns, flashing red eyes my way, and though his stare is emotionless, it’s not hostile. “Your brother’s spellbinding broke and it set half the castle on fire and killed dozens of people, including his soulmate,” he says, meeting my eyes as his words seep in.
“That’s how you collected Alice’s soul…” My gaze darts away, unsure of what this means.
“Yes… I tried to explain to Asmo that what he saw wasn’t what he thought it to be, but he challenged me for the crown and I wasn’t going to kill my son. Your mother pushed him in the prison world because it would keep us from dueling and, with him trapped in there, there was no way the witch’s vision of him on the battlefield could come true.”
Only it can… Asmo is free and the prison world is gone. He plans to fight in this war.
“My mother’s death. I want the truth,” I say, clenching my jaw together hard enough to hurt my jaw, and send pain radiating through my teeth.
“She lost you to The Void and truly wanted to know if you’d come back to us somehow in the future, but I think the looming threat of Michael and the war made her curious about what the witch saw. Her soul was lost before Michael took it. She was stuck, since she didn’t exist that far into the future. Michael may have taken her soul, but I’m not sure if she would’ve ever come back. It wasn’t until after I got the nerve to search her memories that I saw a glimmer of hope. I kept her sealed in that box, believing if I could change one of the timelines she returns in, we could be reunited.”
“And have you?” I ask, scrubbing a hand down my face. “With everything you’ve meddled with, between making me to bargaining a deal with Alice’s mother, has anything changed?”
Another tear slips down his cheek as his eyes glossy over. “No. The more I meddled, the hard fate fought to reset itself. Nothing has changed. There are still multiple possibilities and you’re right. I became rash. Sending Alice to Solaria was a last-ditch effort, and I knew because of the deal I made, you’d never let her go. Which is why I gave her the watch. She was supposed to trap you, only she ended up trapping both of us in different places.”
How dare he risk the love of my life to save his… I’m his son and he knew Alice meant more to me than anything. I drag in a long shaky breath, trying to keep this conversation civil and get the answers I need to figure out how to move forward with this war. I can’t trust my father enough to go with his plan, but understanding the events leading up to it will give me a clearer picture and thousands of lives in Hell depend on me to figure out what to do.
“Why didn’t you fight me? When the castle came back and I challenged you, why did you give in and allow me to win?” I ask, bouncing my leg and wringing my fingers together, all the while avoiding his stare.
“Because I recognize the look in your eyes. You’d lost her, and my need to change the future caused it. Though it was long ago, I can remember what it felt like to wake up and know my wife was no longer here. It was crippling and I hated myself for putting you through it,” he says, biting down on his lower lip to hide the tremor running through it. “Did she survive?”
The audacity of him to ask… I shouldn’t bless him with the answer. I should let him rot here not knowing, but it would eat at me because, unlike him, I have a conscience. “She’s immortal. She died and her death broke the spell on the watch, but luckily for you, her powers had fully manifested in time for her to come back.”
Armed with the answers I need, I stand from my seat, dragging the stool to the opposite side of the tunnel. There’s one more person I need to visit, and though I hate to disturb my mother in her death, the variations she saw, if unchanged, might be the reason we win this.
“That’s it? You’re just going to leave me locked in here again?”
“Yes. I tried to have you moved to your room, remember? Asmo almost let you out. If it weren’t for the barrier I had put up around the stairwell, you would’ve escaped. This cell is your home now and it’s the only place I can ensure you won’t talk yourself out of. Get used to it.”
“I answered your questions. I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he begs as I make my way out of the dungeon, not daring a glance back.
30
Alice
I flip through books upon books of choices, trying to make sure we can hold our promise and get married tomorrow. One contains pressed samples from the town florist, another is full of swatches of fabric from the royal tailor in Hell Hold. Next to me is more from the staff, containing meal options and decorations. Even though it will just be us, Kai has gone out of his way to make it memorable, even if such luxuries aren’t necessary.
Almost everything is outlined and planned, from the ceremony to where we’ll go afterward. We’ve even managed to convince ourselves that taking the night off and the following morning after our vows would be necessary… that we’ve earned it.
Though customary for couples to honeymoon after their nuptials, for royalty no such time and escape from the responsibilities can be allotted. The world doesn’t cease its rotation just because two hearts merged into one, and that fucking sucks. Kai has assured me that once Michael is dealt with and Hell returns to some sort of civility that we’ll get away and enjoy spending time together, just the two of us.
In a way, I’m glad the ceremony will stay small. I’d rather not have hundreds of eyes watching me pour my heart out, and I think he feels the same. For that, I’m considering this a blessing in disguise.
“Are you almost finished?” Clamara asks, tapping her foot impatiently. I don’t blame her for the short fuse at the moment. I’ve gone through this same book four times over and have yet to give her an answer. I’m not sure it’s necessary to choose night attire, anyway. Kai’s going to rip it and what use is a scrap of lace on the floor? Though, Clamara seems to disagree, telling me it’s a heftier decision than the wedding dress itself.
Since my quite literal return from the dead, or at least Kai’s acceptance of it, we haven’t been intimate beyond a kiss here and there, or glorified snuggling in the hell flame pool of our bathroom. So maybe she’s right. It’s not just a big moment to be married, but it’s the start of rekindling us… If nothing else, this should be perfect.
