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Daring a glance, I look from the hell flame to white stones near my feet. Something breaks inside me as I turn, hoping it just wasn’t the right angle. The stones gleam as if nothing stands upon them. Not a single shadow in sight.
It’s gone…
“You took too much, didn’t you?” Sebastian whispers. His body is in full rigor, unflinching as he zones out on the beach. I swear he scoffs, but if he reacts at all, he doesn’t show it. The hard features of his face are stone cold, save for that tick, and it has nerves crawling across my skin.
We’ve never truly been alone until now. We stayed in his room together, but there were dozens of men on that ship in screaming distance, as witnesses. I can picture the way he looked at me when he saw my mark for the first time, as if I’m reliving that moment every time I close my eyes. He threatened to kill me, to toss me overboard into the waves, to watch me be swallowed whole. He would’ve too, had it not been for the connection we shared, that I helped him feel, that I made up for the piece of him missing… Even then, my mark still troubled him.
I no longer fill that void… Without my shadow, I’ll be numb, too. Sebastian can end me right here, right now… Worse, he wouldn’t need a weapon to do it, only the snap of his fingers. Everyone would assume the sea claimed me because I was the fool who jumped off that ship after him.
Suddenly, I’d rather be on that wretched boat, surrounded by murderous pirates, than be the object this man fixed his gaze on.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap, fists clenching. I straighten my spine and tilt my chin up, refusing to cower. Not now, not ever. If he wants to kill me, I won’t stop him, but I’ll die with dignity.
One of his dark eyebrows arches up. “Like what?” His voice is deceptively calm, but I see the tension in every straining muscle of his body. The barely restrained violence simmering beneath the surface.
“Like you’re imagining your darkness draining me to ash.” My legs begin to wobble as he creeps closer, his strides slow and deliberate–taunting me.
His lips tip at the corner, but it’s gone in the blink of an eye. “It could.”
The breath catches in my throat, and my voice cracks at the first sign of pressure. “I saved you.”
“Saved me?” He scoffs. “I jumped off a damn ship to keep you and Smee safe. The Crocodile has no use for either of you if I’m dead. Yet, you brought me back so I could be hunted and forced to do horrific things to women I love. That’s not saving me, Scars...” Sebastian runs a hand through his soaked hair, scrubbing it down his face before he turns to me again. “That’s torture.”
My vision blurs as tears well up in my eyes. “I couldn’t lose you…” One escapes, rushing down my cheek and dripping away.
Sebastian stops, his body inches away from mine. He’s so close that he has to crane his neck to stare down at me. Fury is etched into every hard line of his body, his voice so deep and raw that it’s almost menacing. “You should’ve let me drown.”
He cradles my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. His touch is so gentle despite every rippling wave of unfiltered anger that floods through the bond between us. Thumbs stroke over my cheekbones, wiping away the tears that stream from my eyes.
Sebastian leans closer, pressing his lips to my forehead as he pulls me toward his chest. My heart stutters, unsure of how to handle this or what to do with my hands. He’s hugging me... I keep waiting for the knife to plunge through my back or something, but it never comes.
My chest is so tight… It hurts to breathe. Every nerve sparks like wildfire, desperate to calm the growing panic welling inside me. I fear I’ll burst from the pressure. His hands are the only thing keeping me upright anymore. Every muscle in my body has become weak and unresponsive as I fight for air, to force down the anxiousness that’s taken my throat hostage.
Sebastian’s fingers are buried in my wet hair, clutching my head to his chest. The strong beat of his heart drowns out everything around us. His arm is around my waist, holding me so tightly, I fear it’s because he knows this is the last time we’ll get to stay like this, suspended in time.
He’s alive. That’s what matters. He’s here, he’s breathing…
“I love you.” My words are barely audible over the roar of the waves cresting against the beach. “I know this changes everything, and I understand if you hate me…” I trap my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.
Sebastian leans back slightly. The hand he has in my hair pulls, demanding me to look up. Every fleeting sign of his anger is gone, as if it never existed. “I could never hate you, little lamb.”
“Then why does it feel like it?”
His eyes soften as he exhales deeply, pulling me back against his chest. “It’s not you that I’m angry with… I hate that my own flesh and blood put us here, that it led to you losing the very thing I’ve spent years trying to get back. I hate that I can’t… That my shadow is gone for good, because I’ll never be able to bring myself to pay the price. And now yours…” Sebastian pauses, sinking his teeth into his lower lip as he shakes his head. “I’ve felt more alive since meeting you than I have since I lost my shadow. I lived for every smile, every laugh, every flood of joy you made me experience because of our connection. I hate that I can’t get that back… That knowing me has now blackened your soul…You might’ve had the mark before, but I made you into a blood witch. My choices… and I hate that you believed, even for a moment, that I’d just stop loving you for it.”
He leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine. I don’t know what to say... All I can do is look at him, meet his emerald eyes, and within a split second, he closes the gap, his lips finding mine. This kiss is like nothing I’ve experienced before; it’s passionate and desperate but also gentle and intimate at the same time. His hands cup my face as liquid fire surges through me.
His lips are soft and smooth and taste like the sweetest wine and salt. Sebastian pulls me closer and tightens his arm around my waist. His fingers trace soft lines along my jaw before his lips follow it. My head spins as I lose myself completely in the way he feels; our bodies are fused together to the point where there is no separation between us.
After what feels like an eternity, we pull away from each other, just enough for him to speak quietly in my ear. “I need you to do something for me.”
“Anything,” I say, still trying to catch my breath.
He lets me go, reaching down to the stones on the shore to pick up one. It’s round, but the center of it is hollow, like something has eaten its way through the middle. Sebastian glances at me for a moment, then takes off his necklace and slides the stone over the chain.
“Turn around.” He gently nudges my shoulder and I do, allowing him to gather my hair to one side and slip the chain around my neck. “Don’t take this off,” he says, kissing my pulse.
“I don’t understand... Why the rock?” I turn around to face him, fidgeting with the cool stones that rest against my sternum.
