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"No, it was pretty hard at first. Now it's second nature, but when I suddenly got a four-year-old to look after when I was twenty-one... it was crazy. I had to rearrange my entire life. But now... Damien is my life, Roland. What if something's happened to him?"
She burst into tears, and I comfort her, holding her against my chest, hoping that her fears are in vain, and that Damien is safe. Unfortunately, Maddie is right–the streets of New York aren't always safe.
Chapter nineteen
Maddie
Maddie
Roland's strong hands gently pass me another steaming cup of tea, the warmth from the porcelain seeping into my trembling fingers. I take a deep breath, trying to quell the sobs that had wracked my body moments before. The thought of Damien, alone, in this sprawling city, sends shivers down my spine.
"Thanks," I whisper, taking a tentative sip. The soothing liquid helps calm my frayed nerves if only slightly.
"Of course," Roland replies, his dark eyes filled with concern. He sits next to me on the couch, the scent of his musky cologne now familiar and comforting. "You know, Maddie, teenagers do all sorts of crazy things. Most of the time, they come out just fine. And Damien is months away from being a teenager. He's bound to get into scrapes from time to time."
I nod, knowing he's right, but it doesn't stop the worry gnawing at me. It's like a leech, sucking away any chance of rest or rational thought. Sleep is impossible in this state, so instead, I turn to Roland, trying to distract myself. "How did you end up with Sofia?"
He chuckles softly, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. "Well, we met at a conference. She was captivating, intelligent... I hired her as my CFO on the spot." His expression turns somber, the pain of their relationship evident in the lines etched on his face. "But over time, I realized she craved the fast life–parties, career, glamour. Not the quiet, stable life of being in a relationship and especially raising a child."
"Rumors say she's into coke now," he adds, with a hint of bitterness. "Can't say I'm surprised. She always loved the thrill."
I can't help but feel for him. Being a single parent isn't easy, and seeing someone you once loved spiral out of control must be devastating. My own love life hasn't fared much better; since taking in Damien, I haven't had the energy for serious relationships. My parents' deaths left me terrified of losing anyone else close to me.
"I'm sorry, Roland."
He chuckles again, but this time, it's tinged with sadness. "I suppose I chose Sofia because she was emotionally unavailable like my mother. You attract what you're used to, right?" He sighs, looking down at his hands. "The truth is, I need to learn how to open up and build healthier relationships. And maybe we can..." his voice falters.
I squeeze his hand. "Maybe," I say with a little smile. "Honestly, dating hasn't been easy for me either. I suddenly had a child when I was 21, which put me in a different category from most other women out there."
Roland nods. "It can't have been easy," he says softly.
"No, it wasn't. While my friends backpacked in Europe, I paid daycare fees. I was lucky my parents had an old car I could sell to get enough to complete the last two months of my studies. From then on, I was on my own. And while most people praised me for what I do, not everyone wants to be settled with a child. Especially not when they're in their early 20s."
"Yeah, in my early twenties, I was studying and partying. Then I focused on building a company. It's taken me, what, eighteen years to do so. It's been a lot of work, but I enjoy that. It just hasn't left me much time for anything else."
"That's the thing. Once you're invested in a child or a business, or both, it consumes a lot of space in your life. All the same, I don't think it's an excuse for being single. I think when my parents died, I shut down in some ways. Became scared of opening up to new people."
I can see one corner of Roland's mouth lifting into a half-smile. "Yeah, I should get rid of the excuses around my love life. I don't tolerate them in business, but love always seemed so... messy to me. Sofia seemed simple, I guess because we never truly opened up to each other emotionally."
As we sit together in the dimly lit room, sharing our fears and failures, a flicker of hope ignites within me. Maybe, just maybe, Roland and I can help each other heal–and find the love we both deserve. But first, we have to bring Damien home safely.
Worn out by the long day and my worry for Damien as well as all the emotional baggage of my parents' death this night has brought up, I eventually feel myself growing tired and dozing off on the couch as Roland holds me.
Chapter twenty
Roland
Roland
Maddie's soft breaths tickle my neck as she dozes off, leaning against my chest. Her head rests comfortably on my shoulder while my arms embrace her, a warmth spreading through me that has nothing to do with the cozy blanket draped over us.
"Roland...?" she murmurs sleepily, her voice barely audible.
"Right here, Maddie," I reply, gently stroking her arm.
Her lips curl into a faint smile, and she sighs contentedly before slipping back into the depths of slumber. The intimacy of this moment feels almost overwhelming, making my heart beat faster in my chest. There's something so vulnerable and trusting about the way she's curled up against me, and it deepens the connection between us.
Maddie seems to bring me a sense of peace and comfort that I haven't experienced in a long time. In a sense, she reminds me of my firecracker of a grandma. The one steady influence in my life growing up together with Pops. They were my rocks until they passed away.
