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Ethan had laughed so hard this morning when Avery had appeared freshly showered in front of him, wearing the worn t-shirt.Keep on Digging and Never Throw in the Trowelwas on the front, written in some ancient font that Ethan didn’t recognize.
“Yeah, I know. Matty’s dad is like that. Grade A asshole. And Chief of Police. Worst combo if there ever was one.” Ethan laughed grimly at Avery before continuing. “So yeah, Matty would draw at my place whenever he got the chance. Mostly in the tree house. That’s where I kept all my crayons and where Matty would hang his finished sketches and drawings.” He suddenly laughed, recalling his wish lists for birthdays and Christmases. “I never drew myself but each year at the top of my wish list, I’d put a set of crayons… fucking asshole...” Ethan trailed off, a single, furious tear appearing at the corner of his right eye.
Avery reached out and placed his slender hand on Ethan’s thigh, squeezing it in silent reassurance.
“You’ll find him. And when you find him, you’ll see with your own eyes that he’s okay. Youwillfindhim, Ethan.” Avery stated the last part matter-of-factly like it was beyond any doubt that Ethan would be reunited with Matty again.
“You don’t know that.” Ethan’s voice was barely audible through the music blasting from the stereo and the wind coming in through the open window.
“You’re right,” Avery nodded. “But still, I have a feeling that you will. I’ve found things that should never have been found, some of them hidden away for thousands and thousands of years. Paintings I’d only ever read about, dreamed about. And suddenly they manifested in front of my eyes. Visualization is a powerful thing, Ethan. And so is hope.”
“Yeah, you may be right. I really hope so. I just need to know that he’s okay, you know?” Ethan bit his lower lip, cheeks taking on a soft pink color.
“Yeah, I know. But one way or another, you will know. And only then, can you deal with the knowledge you receive… Look!” Avery pointed at the large sign ahead of them.
Graceland. Matty, I’m in Graceland. I’ll see you in Maine, my friend. Just wait for me a little while longer.
“Memphis, baby!” Avery repeated Ethan’s words, shouting them out of the open window while Elvis was now singing aboutsuspicious minds.His mom’s favorite song. “Wooohooo, here we come!”
Taking a deep breath, Ethan shook off his sadness and grinned at the beautiful man sitting beside him. Avery was fucking gorgeous as he sat there, shifting in the old car seat. If they hadn’t been on the road, Ethan would have leant in and kissed the fuck out of him. Tasted him and sucked on his delicious tongue. Yeah, he’d definitely do that later if the opportunity arose. Fuck, who was he kidding? Ethan would make sure that it did.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Matty – Then
“DO YOU NEEDhelp with anything else, Millie? I don’t mind doing the dishes, too.” Matty had just cleared the table following yet another nice meal in the Hart household. Millie had made a fish pie—Matty had never tried fish pie before and had been reluctant to taste it. But as he’d watched Will scarf down the steamy white sauce oozing from the crispy-golden crust, Matty had tried a small piece of fish. The taste had exploded on his tongue, and he’d ended up stuffing himself full on Millie’s delicious, home-made pie.
“You can relax now, hon. You’ve had a busy day at the docks, I hear.” Millie started filling the sink with hot water, pouring in some soap.
“I… I’d really like to help. I can relax later.” The truth was, he liked being around Millie in the kitchen with the smell of lavender and coffee hanging as a faint whisper in the air. The quiet music from her favorite country radio station, Millie humming along to Kris or Dolly. It reminded Matty of home—or at least, what he’d always imagined a real home should feel like. Ethan’s house. It reminded him of Ethan’s folks and their welcoming home.
“Well, if you’re sure, hon, I’d love to have you keep me company.” Millie smiled at him affectionately while she dipped the first plate into the water. Bumping her shoulder against his, she winked at him. “I’ll wash and you can dry.”
Nodding eagerly Matty reached for the kitchen towel hanging next to the door to the basement. Millie handed him the first plate and he carefully started drying it and then placed it in the cupboard to his right.
“So, Matty, how are you liking it down at the docks? Will’s not too hard on you, right?” She winked at him, while she continued with the dishes.
“No, ma’am. It’s going real good, I think. They’re all real nice and helpful. And… And I just love being by the sea, ma’am.”
“Hon, enough with the ma’am. I knew you were a polite young man the first time you said it. No need to say it again. Just call me Millie. That is after all my name.” She smiled softly, her pale blue eyes nothing but kind and sincere.
“Okay. Millie, ma’am.” Shaking his head furiously, cheeks heating up with embarrassment, Matty sighed. “Sorry, Millie.” He grinned cautiously. “Just Millie.”
“That’s right, hon. Just Millie.” The older woman grinned back at him.
They continued in comfortable silence, Millie humming along to the songs ofhome, long lost loversandworking hard in the coal mines.Everything was just so nice. It was. Matty swallowed back the lump building at the back of his throat, tears pooling in his eyes. He was not gonna cry! There was no reason for crying, for fucks sake! So why did he suddenly feel like hugging Millie to his chest, burying his face in her neck and crying? It was ridiculous. But it was how he felt, nonetheless.
He felt like crying for all the moments like these that he should’ve had growing up. Every child deserved at least a handful of these moments of safety, comfort, and affection, but no matter how hard he tried, not even one came to mind. Even when he was making biscuits in their old kitchen with his mom, the dreaded return of his father was always looming in the back of his mind like a black cloud. Even when he wasn’t in the house, his father’s dark presence put a damper on every little moment of joy. It was then and there, standing next to Millie that Matty decided that if he ever had kids himself, he would spend every day trying to fill their little lives with as many happy moments as possible. No child of his should ever have to go to sleep, his or her stomach aching from fear or hunger. No way.
“Are you alright, honey? You’ve gone all pale and quiet on me,” Millie’s solacing voice wrapped him in an invisible blanket, pulling him back from his stray thoughts. “I know, Dolly has that effect on me sometimes, too…” she winked.
“Yeah…” his voice came out faint and frail. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Because, you know, if there’s anything, anything at all, you tell me, okay sweetie? Or you tell Will.” The older woman nodded at the living room where Will was watching ESPN for the latest football standings.
Matty couldn’t help wondering what his mom was doing right now. Was she okay? Did she miss him? He’d thought that he’d be missing her more than he did by now, but then again, how could you miss someone who’d disappeared several years ago? Because she had. She’d checked out of her own life a long time ago, leaving Matty to deal with the aftermath of his father’s wrath all by himself. He wasn’t angry with his mother for withdrawing emotionally from his life—it wasn’t indifference either that he felt. If he were to describe the feeling which inhabited his chest and clutched at his heart, it was sadness. Sadness for the life that he could’ve had, if he’d been born in this house in Maine instead of in his father’s house in Eden. Sadness over all the kind words and fond caresses he’d missed out on. Of all the jokes and the laughs. Of all thegood boysandgoodnight hons.
Turning towards Millie, he cleared his throat.
