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“Okay, Mom. Love you. Say hi to Dad for me—and the pests.” He smiled sadly, a pinch in his chest at the thought of a family dinner without him.
“I will, sweet pea. Love you, too. Be safe now.” She blew a kiss at the screen before she ended the conversation.
“I will,” Ethan whispered in front of him as he looked around at the empty motel room.
Avery had slipped out. The room looked even dingier now, grim even, as if Avery really had sucked up all the light and taken it with him when he’d left the room. Well, better get ready. They were headed North today. The Land Between the Lakes. It’d been Matty’s next stop on the list.Did you even end up going, Matty?And where was he now?God, I really do hope that you are in Maine, buddy, because I’m coming. Soon, Matty. Soon.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Matty – Then
“WE COULD BUYit together, you know.” Austin trailed kisses along Matty’s spine, whispering against his damp skin.
“What do you mean?” A puzzled frown appeared between Matty’s eyebrows.
Austin looked up from what had become his favorite pastime lately, covering Matty in kisses. It wasn’t like Matty complained or anything. He loved how affectionate Austin always was with him. It was addicting. His boyfriend was addicting.
“You’re cute when you do that, sweetheart,” Austin smiled while placing the tip of his index finger against the frown. “I’m talking about a boat. You want one, right? And I want one. And we want each other. So why don’t we get it together?”
“You wanna buy it together?” Matty stared into Austin’s gorgeous gray eyes in disbelief, stunned by Austin’s easy logic. “You really think that’s a good idea?” he mumbled.
“I think it’s a fucking great idea! Epic, even. Don’t you?” Austin sat up, leaning against the pinewood headboard of his bed, the wrinkled sheet covering his tanned body from the waist down. Brushing his right hand through his jet-black hair, his bicep flexed deliciously, making Matty involuntarily lick his lips. That was the effect which Austin had on him. Ever since that day at the harbor. He’d stopped questioning it a long time ago, comfortable with the realization that he was bisexual.
Austin had revealed to him after a few dates that he’d always known that he was gay and Matty had told him about Ethan. Just like Ethan’s folks, Austin’s dad had always accepted him. They’d lived alone in a small fisherman’s cottage ever since Austin could remember. It’d always just been the two of them as Austin’s mom died of cancer when he was only three.
“And what if we break up? What do we do then?” Matty felt sick to his stomach just thinking about him and Austin no longer being together. But they were so young. And he still had a hard time believing most days that this was his life now. That this was truly it. No catastrophe waiting to happen around the corner. No one yelling at him for obscure reasons or dislocating his shoulder because he forgot to take out the trash.
“I’m not gonna break up with you,” Austin countered, a slight edge to his voice. That was the other thing that Matty had to get used to. That people could get annoyed, angry even, and it wouldn’t necessarily mean that it was the end of the world as he knew it. People got mad and people got over it, and Matty’s body was no longer covered in bruises afterwards. Sometimes he could almost convince himself his life back in his father’s house had all just been a bad dream.
“Are you gonna break up with me?” Austin’s soft voice pulled him out of his wayward thoughts. Uncertainty was building in his gray eyes.
Matty immediately straddled his boyfriend’s lap and pulled him against his chest.
“Of course not,” he whispered against Austin’s shoulder, corded with layers of muscles. He smelled like the ocean and tasted like it too. Salty. Clean. And even better yet, Austin was beginning to feel like home. Like a real home. “I’d never break up with you, babe. But you might get tired of me…”
Pushing away from Matty’s chest, Austin placed his large hands around his waist. He could almost reach all the way around Matty’s slim middle. They were so different, the two of them. And yet, they were the same. Austin sniffed, his eyes moist, worry reflected in the dark gray.
“I’ll never get tired of you, Matty. Why would you even say that? You’re my favorite person in the world.” He leaned his forehead against Matty’s. “Don’t you know that? You’re mine, Matty.”
“I’m sorry,” Matty whispered against his boyfriend’s lips. He’d lost count by now of the number of times he’d kissed them. In the beginning, when they first started dating, he counted their kisses at night, lying in bed, tracing the curve of his Cupid’s bow with his fingers. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Trying to get off Austin’s lap, he swallowed around the traitorous lump building in his throat. “I always ruin things. Always have.”
Pinning Matty against him, unwilling to let him go, Austin brushed a lone blond lock away from Matty’s forehead.
“What are you talking about, sweetheart? You haven’t ruined a single thing. What we have, Matty…” Austin waved his tanned hand between the two of them before continuing. “It’s so strong. Like a boat built from the toughest wood. Sure, it takes a few hits sometimes during a really bad storm, but it won’t ever break. Because it was built to weather even the fiercest waves. It was built to last. And so are we, sweetheart.”
Matty buried his face in Austin’s neck. He was real sappy sometimes, his boyfriend, saying stuff like that, but Matty didn’t care one bit. He figured he had the undisputed right to claim every loving word coming from Austin’s lips. They would probably never make up for all the spiteful slurs his father had thrown at him, but somehow, they evened things out a little.
“You really think so?” he whispered, his voice muffled against the black hair curling along Austin’s neck. Austin had let grow out some because Matty insisted he looked so much hotter that way and he loved running his fingers through the thick strands.
“I do,” Austin nodded, brushing his hand along Matty’s back. “I know he did a number on you, sweetheart. That asshole who had the nerve to call himself your father. Making you believe that you were nothing. That you were less than the dust under his boots. But he was wrong. So wrong.”
Matty could only nod as he clung to Austin, fat tears starting to draw lines down his cheeks.
“I dream about it sometimes, you know. That I run into that motherfucker. And he doesn’t know who I am. He’s just going about his business, not a care in the world.” Austin sucked in a quick breath, eyes darkening as he continued to caress Matty’s back. “So, I follow him. I follow him around for hours sometimes, just waiting. Just patiently waiting for that one opportunity to get him alone. Cornered. With no way out. And when I do, I beat the shit out of him. And I don’t stop. Not even when he begs. Because he does. Believe me, he does.This is for Matty,I tell him, while he looks at me, fucking clueless.This is for my Matty, you fucking useless piece of shit.”
Matty’s chest tightened at the vivid picture that Austin was painting. He’d never heard Austin speak like this before. The pure, uncompromising anger bursting from the very same mouth that usually just spoke words of kindness.
Sitting up straight, Matty leaned in and kissed the tip of Austin’s straight nose. He was so beautiful, his boyfriend. Then he kissed his cheekbones, his chin and finally his lips.
