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Avery had come without even touching his leaking cock once, the insistent pounding of Ethan’s cockhead against his prostate had been more than enough to bring him to the edge. Ethan had continued to violate his clenching hole, chasing his own orgasm. If it weren’t for Ethan’s solid grip on his hips, he would have melted into the sleeping bag, into the sticky evidence of his own pleasure.
He’d literally been shaking after Ethan had made him come. His hard cock still lodged firmly inside Avery, Ethan’s strong and heavy body had covered him like a soft, warm blanket while his young lover had panted against the back of his neck. Avery had hardly noticed the stickiness seeping into his skin beneath him or the sounds of the forest by night all around him. There’d only been Ethan and nothing else. His smell and his heat. The moistness of Ethan’s soft breath as it hit his cheek. The nonsensical fragments spilling from Ethan’s mouth.So good. Sweet hole. Feel you.And then finally.All mine.
Avery had cried then, because suddenly everything made sense. It was everything all at once. What he’d been missing all along. This deep-seated connection with someone. No, not justsomeone.Not justanyone.Ethan. In this quiet aftermath, Avery had found the one thing that had escaped him ever since Mattie died. The one thing that hadn’t been within his reach since he was eleven years old. Himself. Ethan owning him body and mind, had brought Avery back to himself and that scared him to death because in a few days, they would reach Boston and then what?
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Matty – Now
“AUSTIN? BABE, YOUhome?” Matty had been running all the way from Will’s house. The rain had soaked him all the way through. It was really coming down now, but he hadn’t noticed until he was running up the stairs to their apartment, drops of water hitting the wooden steps. Cassie was barking in the bedroom where they kept her when they weren’t home. Which meant that Austin wasn’t home.Shit.He’d really fucked up this time. Matty felt a tightening in his chest, and it suddenly became difficult to breathe.
Rubbing at his left pec muscle, he went to let out the puppy and she immediately started spinning around in circles trying to get his attention. They’d just gotten her a month ago. Matty had always wanted a dog growing up and then one afternoon Austin had asked him if he wanted to go for a drive. They’d ended up in a small town thirty minutes up the coast. When Austin had parked in front of the large red cedar coated house, Matty had frowned at him, one big question mark on his face. One hour later they’d left the house with a small fox red bundle of fur clasped firmly against his chest.Cassie. Matty didn’t know the first thing about dog breeds, but she was a Nova Scotia Retriever apparently.
“A real water dog,”Austin had grinned, “just like my own little desert rat,”he’d continued, ruffling Matty’s unruly hair.“Now I have a blond and a ginger,”Austin had teased, his cheeks flushed pink from pent-up excitement. It didn’t matter much to Matty what kinda dog Cassie was since he thought she was just about the cutest thing he’d ever seen in his entire life. And she was his. That had been one of the best days ever.
Yeah, those were the kind of impulsive things that Austin didbehind his back.Like the house. And the boat. And the… Fuck! He was such an idiot. Matty pulled at his drenched, curly hair and shrugged at the oblivious puppy, who just jumped up and down, ignorant of Matty’s inner turmoil.
“Hey, baby girl,” Matty cooed as he rubbed her behind the ears, pressing his cold nose against her warm, light-brown nose. Her bushy tail was wagging all over the place while she whined with enthusiasm and devotion. “Where’s Austin, baby? He’s not home yet, huh?” He looked around the bedroom, but it was exactly the way Matty had left it this morning when Austin had told him about the house, and he’d stormed out.What a stupid, immature thing to do,he cursed himself. Running away from a fight. Who did that? A fucking kid, that’s who!
“Where’s your leash, pretty girl? Wanna go for a walk, huh? See if we can find Austin? See if he still wants me even though I’m the biggest idiot alive?”
“He does,” a timid voice sounded behind Matty. “And you’re only the second largest idiot in the world…” Matty turned, his heart trying to claw its way out of his chest. Austin looked so full of regret and so fucking sad as he stood there in the door opening, his broad shoulders in a resigned slump.
“You’re here,” Matty breathed, relief streaming through his chest. “I thought you’d left. We were gonna go look for you.” He searched for Austin’s gray eyes, but he was still looking at the floor.
“Yeah, I was downstairs. Dad says hi.” He nibbled furiously at his bottom lip and Matty knew that in a few seconds it would be pink and puffy. And ridiculously delectable.
“Austin, will you look at me, please,” Matty took a step towards his boyfriend while Cassie shifted her big chestnut eyes between the two of them. Matty reached out and linked his fingers through Austin’s while he pulled him towards him at the same time.
“I’m sorry,” Austin whispered, eyes red-rimmed. “I shouldn’t have done that. It was too much. I know, I’m too much.” He looked down at their interlaced fingers while still worrying his lip vigorously.
“Shh, babe, it’s okay.”
Austin looked up as soon as the endearment slipped from Matty’s lips, a spark of hope bursting from his stunning, gray eyes.
“I overreacted. No, I did,” Matty shook his head at Austin, who was about to say something. “I had a full-blown idiotic overreaction and I’m so, so sorry.” He pulled Austin all the way against his chest and wrapped his boyfriend in his arms. He kissed Austin’s chin and had to tilt his head slightly to do so. Matty was much smaller than this large, yet vulnerable man who’d come to mean everything to him. But Matty liked it that way. He liked that he could disappear entirely in Austin’s embrace and hide from the world if he wanted too.
He’d felt that way ever since the first time Austin had wrapped him in his massive arms and kissed his hair. Safe. Cared for. Loved. It wasn’t because Austin had taken over Ethan’s place in his heart. He couldn’t. No one could ever do that. That place was reserved entirely for him. No, it was a different feeling that flowed through Matty’s chest whenever he thought of his boyfriend. TheI-cannot-breathe-properly-until-you’re-next-to-mekinda feeling. Or theI-could-just-climb-inside-your-gorgeous-body-and-live-there-forever.
“You’re not mad?” Austin hiccupped and Matty felt it vibrate from Austin’s broad chest and all the way through his own where it finally reached his heart. A heart which, in this very moment, was so filled to the brim with everything that was Austin. “I thought maybe you weren’t coming back. That it was too much this time…”
“I was mad but now I’m mostly furious with myself.” Matty untangled himself from Austin’s arms and looked at him.
“Why?”
“Why, he asks?” Matty chuckled but it came out halfheartedly. “Because I’m a fucking idiot. I do this every time you try to do something nice for me. Then I freak out because I get scared and then I do something stupid to ruin everything.” Tears of self-loathing began to press behind Matty’s eyes, and he bit the inside of his cheek to make them stay put. Austin reached out his hand and pushed a lock of Matty’s wet hair out of his eyes.
“You didn’t ruin anything. There’s no way you could ever ruin this thing between us. And if you’re an idiot, then I’m one too…” Austin paused before continuing. “I guess it takes some practice to live together, huh? You know, I sometimes forget that we’re two now and that I can’t just go and make decisions that involve the both of us.”
“Huh,” Matty hummed. “That sounds really smart and grown-up.” He smiled at Austin who in return exhaled with relief.
“Yeah, well I got some sound advice from someone who’s real smart and grown-up.”
“Yeah? Who?”
“My dad,” Austin grinned sheepishly.
Matty tipped his head back, a loud laugh escaping him.
