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This time it had been far worse than any of the other times that his mom was given a beating. He’d always wondered about the expression.To be given a beating.You weren’t given shit when the fists came pounding down on you. To be given somethingimplied that you wanted to receive it in the first place. No, his mom had never asked for it even though those were the exact words that usually spurted from his father’s lips.You fucking asked for it, you stupid bitch. And all due to a wrong brand of beer. It didn’t matter that she whispered at her husband while her hair was held in an iron fist, pupils dilated with fear, that Mr. Chapman’s grocery store had been out of Velvet Hammer. Eden’s respected Chief of Police had gritted through clenched teeth that “it’ll be a cold day in Hell before I touch a Lone Star and you fucking bitch damn well know that.”That was just before he’d slammed his fist against his wife’s nose, probably breaking it again, and then throwing her skinny frame against the fridge. Yes, that’s when Matty had gotten his Little League baseball bat. It turned out that it didn’t look so little once it connected with his father’s head.
The downside of being the son of a policeman was that you knew that even though the United States was a big-ass country, it was still hard to hide with all the technology and stuff. And the fact that his father wasn’t just some deadbeat no-name bastard in a trailer park somewhere… Yeah, that didn’t exactly help things either. Hitting the Chief of Police twice over the head with a baseball bat? Yeah, it didn’t take a fucking genius to figure out that it would land you a ticket to juvie. So, he had to keep his head down. At least, for a while.
That meant no phone, no credit cards, and no buying a new car. Matty didn’t mind taking the bus. It meant that he at least got to see some of the country driving through. If he couldn’t hike his way through some of the places he and Ethan had mapped out together, he could at least watch the vast country through a dusty window from a Greyhound.
Blinking back the burning tears behind his eyelids, Matty decided then and there that he wouldn’t feel sorry for himself. He’d never once in his miserable fifteen-year-old life felt sorry for himself, and he sure as shit wasn’t gonna start now. No way. He knew that he was lucky. Lucky to get away in one piece and without being too fucked in the head. Sure, he always hunched over when he heard loud voices or yelling, trying to make himself as small and inconspicuous as possible. And he didn’t feel too comfortable either when people much larger than himself would stand too closely behind him or invade his personal space. But he could’ve been dealt a much worse hand, he guessed.
At least, that’s what his father used to tell him with short intervals.You think you have it bad, you fucking pussy? This is nothing. NOTHING! I was once tied to a beam in your granddaddy’s barn for two days without food or water—you haven’t had it hard until you’ve pissed yourself, boy. Now, get outta my face.
For a second, Matty thought about his mom. Sure, he was gonna miss her. He loved her. Of course, he did. And he felt sorry for her. For the things life had thrown at her. But he had a long time ago made peace with the fact that she, too, had to decide at some point. Stay or go? Continue to be his father’s punching bag or get the hell outta Eden. No one could make that decision for her.
Matty couldn’t help wondering what she’d tell Deputy Wilson when he arrived at his boss’s house. How would she explain her right wrist which was most likely broken? Or the wide laceration through her forehead? Or the multiple fractured ribs? Because she always had fractured ribs when her husband had given her a good and sound workover.
And what would she tell the deputy once he saw his boss lying bleeding on the floor, a bloody children’s baseball bat next to him? Matty tried to push away the intrusive thoughts. Not his fucking problem. For once in their miserable lives, the two people who called themselves his parents had to sort out their own shit. He would be long gone by then. No one would know where to find him except for Ethan.Please come find me, Ethan. As soon as you can.
Matty chose a seat all the way in the back of the bus. The fewer people who would walk past him and get a look at him, the better. After placing his duffel in the luggage compartment above, he sat down in the multicolored synthetic seat. Looking out at the busy bus station, he wondered what Maine would look like. His new home. His first real home, hopefully.
He knew that there would be the ocean and that it would be fucking beautiful but aside from that? He suddenly felt like laughing hysterically. Who the fuck cared anyway? Anything was better than the shithole of a place that someone in a fit of sadistic irony had chosen to call Eden. Even if he had to sleep on a windy beach for the rest of his life, it would still beat his hometown by a fucking mile any day of the week. By a fucking mile.
CHAPTER TEN
Ethan – Now
“SO, WHERE AREyou headed?” They were lying next to each other on the bank, under the shade of a giant tree, the branches almost reaching the ground. Some of them even dipping into the shallow water near the edge of the basin. Wrapping around the two of them like a massive, green tent, the sun peeking through the leaves at various places. Avery was chewing on a grass stem, eyes closed, lashes golden like the rest of him. They were still naked aside from their briefs which Ethan had been the first to hastily put back on once they’d emerged from the water.
“What makes you think that I’m headed somewhere?” Ethan asked, sneaking a final glimpse at Avery’s nearly naked form before he opened his eyes fully. He suddenly felt bold.
“Oh, I see, I’ve encountered an existentialist.” Avery sat up, leaning on his elbow, a serious look on his face. “Ah, yes, the age-old question. Are we ever truly headed somewhere or are we just running around in circles? That is indeed the question.” Avery brushed at his chin, a curious frown between his dark-blond brows. Then he burst into laughter, tracing the grass stem along Ethan’s naked, right arm. “It’s okay, man. You don’t have to tell me. I’m all for a hint of mystery,” Avery smiled, the seductive curve of his full lips making the hair on Ethan’s arms and legs rise to attention.
The way Avery was lying casually on his side, resting his head of blond hair in his hand, drops of water still lingering on his perfect skin. He was mesmerizing. His entrancing eyes pulling at Ethan, making his heart skip a beat. Or maybe it was all just in his imagination. Maybe he was just fucking horny. Maybe it was both.
He felt a sudden urge to reach out and wrap his hand around Avery’s slender neck and pull him against him. To plunge his tongue into Avery’s mouth and taste him, devour him. To bury his fingers in his still damp hair and twist it forcefully until a whimper was forced from his lips. Somehow, he imagined that Avery would let him. Yes, he was pretty sure that he’d let him. That he would submit to Ethan in the most natural way and that that submission would be fucking sublime. The encounters he’d had with Jimmy in high school had been hot, fulfilling a momentary need to get off—Jimmy had submitted to Ethan’s roughness but there had been nothing intimate about it. It hadn’t satisfied Ethan’s craving to completely own someone. There hadn’t been this connection that he was feeling with this near stranger after such short time together.
Swallowing, Ethan collected himself, feeling his arousal building just below the surface, wondering if Avery had noticed that he was miles away.
“Maine,” Ethan spoke in a low voice, the tinkling sensation of the stem on his arm almost stealing his voice. No one had ever touched him that way before. Teasingly. Tauntingly. Seductively. He should have felt naked and exposed, but instead he just felt excited.
“Maine, huh? What’s in Maine?” He noticed Avery shifting next to him as the grass stem moved across his right shoulder, leaving a trail of delicious heat behind on his skin.
Exhaling, Ethan closed his eyes again. He wasn’t ready for Avery to see the sadness reflected in his eyes when he spoke. He knew that it was there, lurking behind the green of his irises. A constant reminder that an important part of him was missing.His other half, Ethan’s mom used to call Matty affectionately.His sidekick. His partner-in-crime.
Ethan licked his dry bottom lip, his own voice almost unrecognizable to him as it spilled from his mouth, no more than a whisper.
“My best friend. My best friend’s in Maine.” Then, for some reason he felt a sudden urge to let Avery in. Just a little. “Or at least, I hope he’s there.” Regretting it as soon as he’d spoken the words, Ethan got up, almost jumping to his feet as if the ground was on fire. “Uhm, I better get going. Wanna get back before dark.” The words came out rushed, his gaze fixated on the ground, avoiding Avery’s inquisitive stare.
Avery stood as well, reaching out his right hand, settling his grip on Ethan’s left upper arm.
“Hey, wait up. I’ll come with you. Just hold on a sec.” For a moment, Avery looked almost distraught, regret darkening his soulful blue eyes, turning them almost indigo. “I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have pried. It’s none of my business. Me and my big mouth. I never know when to shut up. It’s one of my numerous flaws.” His stream of words came to a stop when Ethan started laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” The seriousness covering Avery’s beautiful face began giving way to a stunning smile. “I’m not joking, you know. Just wait until you know me better. I have a long list of flaws and vices, just wait and see. Uncontrollable rambling when embarrassed. I apparently need to add that to the extensive list as well.”
Ethan couldn’t take his eyes off Avery. He was fucking adorable as he stood there, golden locks still dripping with water and arms gesturing all over the place. His cheeks were pink from embarrassment and the exposure to the sun.
“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” Ethan blurted. “People don’t talk the way you do where I come from.”
“No? That’s okay,” Avery shrugged while bending to pick up his hiking shorts from the ground. “People don’t talk this way either where I come from.” He shrugged before he pulled on his shorts and then his t-shirt. “Like I said, it’s a flaw.” Avery did, in fact, look like he’d been scolded for talking in such a way.
“I don’t think it is,” Ethan mumbled, starting to pull on his jeans. “I think it’s more like a gift, you know. To be able to make people laugh. It’s…” Ethan searched his mind, the word he was looking for escaping him.
