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Opening the screen door, Ethan went out on the front porch and was met by his mom’s hesitant smile as she held out her hand.
“Avery’s here!” She briefly touched Avery’s shoulder while she raised a questioning brow at her son—a silent plea in her green eyes. “Drove all the way from Boston to see ya. Ain’t that nice, honey?”
Ethan felt like he’d been run over by a truck and, at the same time, he felt his chest expanding as he took the first real breath in what seemed like weeks. How was it possible to feel happy and miserable all at once? He didn’t know. He’d never been one for diving into his feelings and dissecting them more closely. But if he were to pinpoint how he felt in this very moment, Avery’s hopeful blue eyes gazing back at him, it was torn.
“Hi,” Avery smiled, uncertainty painted all over his handsome face. “I… I’m on my way to Austin and…”
“Austin?” Ethan blurted. “Then you’ve gone too far. You’ve already passed Austin.” Was that his voice? He didn’t recognize it. It sounded cold, unfriendly even.
“You know what,” his mom interrupted. “I’ll just go get Avery some iced tea.” Her eyes shot daggers at Ethan, and he looked away, an uncomfortable heaviness settling in his stomach.Fuck.Smiling at Avery, she continued. “You must be thirsty, sweetie, from thatlongdrive.” The wordlongwas drawn out and Ethan cleared his throat still avoiding his mother’s gaze. Once she’d disappeared inside the house, he looked at Avery.
“What are you doing here, Avery?”
Avery held out his hand, a denim jacket clenched between his fingers.
“You forgot your jacket.” His voice came out frail and breathy. “Thought I’d just drop it off before I leave.” His brilliant eyes seemed to burn right through Ethan, all the way into his soul. They were the bluest of blue. Mesmerizing. Drawing Ethan in just like they’d done from the moment they’d first met in that changing room. It suddenly felt like yesterday that Avery had smiled at him for the first time, blond locks framing his face.
“Eth?”
Shaking his head, Avery’s words registered in his head.
“You’re leaving? Where are you going?”
Avery raised his chin, a serene, determined look on his face.
“I’m going to Bolivia. I’m flying out of Austin tomorrow night. To La Paz.”
Bolivia. As in fucking South America Bolivia?
“Bolivia… what’s in Bolivia?” Ethan worked the words over in his head.
“I don’t know yet,” Avery smiled timidly, brushing a lock of hair behind his left ear, his silver earring catching the light. “I’m joining an international excavation at the foot of the Andes. A group of local archeologists found what appears to be an ancient village… well, at least the remains of one.” He shrugged, worrying his bottom lip. “It could be something huge, life-changing even, or nothing at all.”
Ethan felt that Avery wasn’t just talking about the excavation and suddenly it became hard to breathe.
“How long are you gonna be gone for?” Ethan’s mouth felt excruciatingly dry, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth, the words struggling to exit his lips.
“I don’t know,” Avery whispered, shuffling his boots against the gravel, kicking up dust.
“But… What about your job? At the university?”
“I told them I can’t take the position after all.” Avery’s face seemed to relax, a hint of relief in his voice. “I’m not a teacher, Eth. I mean, I could do it and I’d probably even be okay at it. But it wouldn’t be me and I wouldn’t be great.” He paused briefly, frowning at Ethan. “Only those great at teaching should teach. Those who can make an actual difference. As it turns out, I’m better at digging. And drawing. I kind of already knew that but it took me a little detour to get there.”
Detour.Was that what their time together had been? A detour.
“What did your parents say?” Ethan took a step closer to Avery.
“I haven’t told them. I figured they’ll learn soon enough once the academia gossip reaches the Hamptons. In any case, it’s my decision. My life.” The defiance was back in Avery’s eyes and Ethan realized that he admired him. In that moment, he admired Avery—and he envied him, too. Because for once in his life, Avery had done something selfish. Something that was just for him. And that made him so fucking brave. Braver than Ethan could ever be.
Avery closed the distance between them and held out the denim jacket. His challenging stare didn’t leave Ethan’s. He closed his hand around the worn fabric, but Avery didn’t let go of the jacket. He continued to look at Ethan, nothing but fierce honesty in his eyes.
“I want to be with you, Ethan. For real. Nobutsorifs. Just you and me, finding our way in life. Figuring it out. Together. I think we could be good together. Wearegood together. Good for each other.”
“Avery…”
“What?” Hope and vulnerability seeped through Avery’s gentle voice.
Ethan shrugged his shoulders. He felt lost for words. Or maybe just lost.
