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I ball up my fists, tempted to throw one at him and deal with the consequences later. “You’re not in charge of me.”
His eyes narrow, and his face turns a shade darker, filled with fury. “No? Well, I am in charge of this operation. And I won’t let you ruin it by giving in to their demands. Eddy knew the risks when he got involved with the Cartel. We have to play this smart or we’ll lose our chance to destroy them.”
“Smart?” I yell, tears of frustration streaming down my face. “You think letting them torture Eddy is playing it smart? That’s cold-hearted, even for you!”
Nikolai’s jaw clenches, and he takes a step closer to me, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “Don’t you ever question how cold my heart can be. I’m doing you a favor by saving Eddy, but we must do it on terms that will allow us to take down the Cartel at the same time. Don’t let them manipulate you into making a bad trade. Your emotions are getting the better of you.”
“My emotions?” I yell, the rage inside me boiling over. “You think this is about emotions? This is about doing what’s right! This is about saving a man’s life! How can you just stand there and be so cruel?”
“You think this is cruelty? You think I want to see your cousin suffer? You just don’t understand what we’re up against. The Cartel doesn’t play by any rules. You can’t just agree to go along with them and hope they’ll treat you fairly. Once they have the drugs, they’ll kill Eddy, and it’ll be your fault.”
“My fault?!” I counter, my voice breaking as my tolerance does too. “I’m the one who’s been seeing what they’ve done to Eddy! I’m the one who’s been receiving those videos, those threats! I’m the one who cares. If they kill him because you want to trick them into an ambush, it’s going to be your fault, not mine.”
“You understand nothing!” Nikolai roars, his eyes wild with frustration. “You’re letting your emotions rule you, and it’s blinding you to what needs to be done. We need to crush them, and that doesn’t happen if we let them use Eddy to distract us.”
I laugh at his unwillingness to see my side of this. How could he be so selfish, so set in his ways that he would risk Eddy’s life just to further his mafia interests? That’s what this is about, after all. He wants to take down the Cartel so he can be the only one pushing drugs over the border, and if he has to kill Eddy to do it, then he will.
“You motherfucker,” I snarl as I realize his motivations. “You’re just using me to get to the Cartel. You don’t care about saving anyone. I bet you’d even let me die if it meant getting to destroy them.”
“Don’t you fucking dare accuse me of something like that,” he says, pounding his chest with a heavy fist. “I’m a Bratva boss, not a savage.”
“That’s the problem,” I reply, throwing my hands up in annoyance. “You think everything revolves around your stupid criminal organization filled with stupid fucking criminals.”
“Don’t forget that your cousin is a criminal, too,” he blurts.
My stomach drops. “Oh, now that’s cold, even for you.”
He flinches at my words, and for a moment, a flicker of doubt crosses his face. But it’s gone in an instant, replaced by rigid determination. “I know exactly what I’m doing, and I know exactly what’s at stake. You will follow my lead, or you can leave. The choice is yours.”
I stare at him in disbelief, the words hanging in the air between us like a death sentence. The man I thought I knew, the man I thought cared about me, has just laid down an ultimatum, drawing a line between us that might never be crossed again.
I turn away from him, my heart breaking into pieces. “I thought you were different. I thought we were in this together.”
He doesn’t respond. Not a word of comfort, not an apology for taking things too far.
Nothing.
I storm out of the room, slamming the door behind me, leaving behind not just the man who was supposed to help me, but also a part of myself that I may never get back. The trust, the connection, the belief in something better – it’s all gone, shattered by the harsh reality of the man Nikolai really is.
He’s a Bratva boss, and I was a fool to think he’d ever be anything more.
22
Nikolai
My first instinct is to run after Dream, but I know she won’t get far without any of her belongings. She’ll be back, if only to try to take the P50 to trade for her cousin’s life.
But it doesn’t work like that, and she should know better. You can’t give in to pressure from the Cartel. They’ll just keep taking and taking until you’re left with nothing.
And then they’ll kill you.
I know Dream sees why we can’t keep giving in to whatever new request Diego comes up with while he’s half-baked in a bunker after torturing her cousin for entertainment. Eddy’s fate is out of our hands until we’re able to strike, and then we will get revenge for what they’ve done to him.
Heartless, indeed.
I’m not more heartless than she is for twisting my words and making me sound like a monster.
Of course, I care about getting her cousin back. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to help her and her family, but we’re not going to help anyone but the Cartel if we keep giving in to their demands.
