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She lifts her eyebrows and nods slowly. “Okay…”
I offer her the strongest smile I can. It’s not much, but it’s something. “Good. Go get your brother and sister.”
* * *
“Emma?”
Dammit!
I gesture for the kids to get in the car before I turn to face Kirill. His eyes are fixed on the large duffel bag slung off my shoulder.
“Where’d you come from?”
“I was in the shed… just getting a few things organized. Are you going somewhere?”
“For at least a few days—yes.”
“Does Ruslan know?”
I grit my teeth. “No, and he doesn’t need to. Not that he would care either way.”
Kirill’s eyebrows slope downward. “Em, I don’t know what happened between the two of you after I left but—”
“He told me and the children that we weren’t important to him. Among other things. And he’s right, in theory. I’mnothis wife and Josh, Caroline and Reaganaren’this children.”
Kirill’s eyes go wide. “Bullshit. He didn’t say that.”
“He did. And I have three little witnesses,” I snap, glancing back at the car. All three of their faces are pressed up against the window, watching carefully.
“Goddammit, Ruslan,” Kirill mutters to himself. He shakes his head and looks up at me. “So the two of you didn’t talk? He didn’t tell you what happened?”
“He was more interested in pushing me away. And guess what? It worked. Feel free to congratulate him on a job well done next time you see him.”
“Listen, Emma, shit went down the night we took Adrik in. Ruslan found out some stuff that really fucked with his head.”
I hold up a hand to stop him. “And if he’d just been honest with me, I would have understood, no matter what it was. Hell, evenafterhe said what he said, I would have forgiven him—if he’d only asked for it. The kids would have, too. But it’s been almost two days and all we’ve gotten from him is radio silence. Which means that everything he said, he meant.”
“I know for a fact he didn’t.”
I shrug. “Then why hasn’t hesaidso, hm? Why hasn’t he tried to make it right? Why has he disappeared on me and the kids when we need him the most?”
Kirill’s mouth opens but nothing comes out. I nod grimly, feeling the weight of the last day settle over me. “I’m done making excuses for him, Kirill. Especially to the kids. They don’t deserve this. They already had one nightmare of a dad; they don’t need another one. I’ll be damned if I let Ruslan hurt them like Ben did.”
Kirill grabs my arm when I try to turn away. “Ruslan’s not Ben, Emma. You know that.”
“I used to. Then he proved me wrong.”
“He’s going through something…”
“I’m gonna stop you right there. We’re all going through something, Kirill. All of us. But the answer is not to shut out all the people that care about you. That’s a pretty good way to lose them.”
“Just let me get him—”
“Don’t,” I say fiercely. “He’s made it very clear: we’re not important to him. Let’s just leave it at that. Those kids have been through enough.”
His face falls but he doesn’t stop me from getting into the car. He just stands there miserably while we drive away. The kids watch as the house gets smaller and smaller before it finally disappears in the distance.
I hate that they have to say goodbye to another home.
