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“Let me make something very clear.” His tone is biting and it makes me feel about thisbig. “Nothing has changed between us, Emma. You and I are not friends or coworkers or lovers. The only reason you’re here at all is because I refuse to let any harm come to those children on account of me. But as soon as the threat is gone, you will be, too. And I will be happier for it.”
Each word feels like a nail in my coffin. That kiss earlier was just a manipulation, a way to get me to listen to him.
Not gonna lie—it hurts.
I’m not the only one to blame here!I want to shout at his back. But the words are stuck somewhere between my heart and my throat.
They’re trapped, just like I am.
He steps into the elevator and turns around. His face is composed of hard lines and not a speck of compassion. “If you need anything, contact Kirill.”
The elevator doors close, leaving me to his cold, beautiful penthouse.
My bones ache with exhaustion. My head pounds with stress. But I’m positive I won’t be able to sleep just yet.
Which is how I find myself on the carpet in front of the windows, staring off into the city, trying to find the woman I used to be before I pulled the trigger on my own life.
Was it the day I’d signed the contract with Ruslan?
Or maybe it went back before then. Maybe it was the day that I applied for the job at Bane Corp.
A little voice inside my head says it doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore. There’s no turning back time.
I lean back on one hand and place my other hand on my belly. So far, I’ve had no signs of pregnancy apart from that hospital sonogram. I don’t feel nauseous or bloated. It’s way too early for any movement.
And yet, I have never been more sure of anything. In a little over seven months, I will have a baby. And I will find a way to make it work. Just like I made it work with the other three children that I didn’t expect to mother.
Ruslan won’t be part of this child’s life and that’s on him. I’m gonna take my miracles where I get them and love this child for the both of us.
“It’s gonna be okay, little duckling.”
The term of endearment comes naturally to my lips. Sienna used to use it on me a long time ago, when I was still wetting the bed and crying out from night terrors.
It’s okay, little duckling. It’s gonna be okay.
I always wet the bed on nights that one of our parents got mad at us. I never stopped to wonder how Sienna felt on those nights. She was so busy mothering me that I simply took it for granted that she was okay.
But maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she was just pretending.
I finally know how that feels.
9
EMMA
I wake up at nine the next morning. Sunlight is streaming in through the open windows.
I fell asleep on the couch, which was intentional on my part. I didnotwant to go back into the master bedroom. I wasn’t prepared to face the memories that waited for me there.
Not yet, anyway.
I check my phone to find a text waiting for me.
PHOEBE:Please tell me you and the kids are okay?
EMMA:We’re okay. Not at the motel anymore. I’ll explain when I process everything.
I check in on the kids, who are still fast asleep in the guest room. Yesterday was probably more chaos than their little bodies could take. I’m heading into the kitchen when I hear the elevator doors ping open.
