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Urgh.
I race to the nearest bathroom and puke up the glass of lemonade I spent the last half an hour gingerly sipping. So much for tricking my body into accepting some calories. When I come back outside, Josh is standing in the living room with the girls. Caroline is on the divan and Reagan is hiding behind her brother.
I smile. “Uh-oh. This looks serious.”
Not one kid returns the smile.
I lower myself down to the sofa and face all three with the same somberness they’re directing at me. “Starting to get nervous here, guys.”
“Aunt Emma, Reagan has something she wants to tell you,” Josh explains, taking Reagan’s hand and pulling her forward.
“But you have topromisenot to get angry with her,” Caroline chimes in.
My eyes go wide and I look right at Reagan, who actually flinches back. “Honey, I could never be angry with you. You’re one of my two favorite nieces.”
That one usually gets a smile. Today—nothing.
“Whoa. Tough crowd.” I take a deep breath and hold my hand up, palm facing Reagan. “I solemnly swear that I will not get mad at Reagan for whatever it is she’s done.”
“I didn’tdoanything,” Reagan says earnestly. “Isaidsomething bad.”
I try not to smile too hard. “Oh, sweetheart, did you say a bad word? Because I’ll tell you right now, it’s okay. We all slip sometimes. Just don’t do it again.”
Her frightened stance doesn’t change. “I didn’t say a bad word. I… I told a secret.”
I’m not overly concerned. I mean, we’ve been cooped up in here for days. The only person they’ve really hung out with lately is Kirill and he already knows my secret.
“What secret, Rae?”
Beep, beep, beep.
“Oh, hold on—that’ll be Kirill. Josh, honey, can you let him up?” I turn my attention back on Reagan. “Go on, sweetheart.”
Her chubby little cheeks sag under the weight of her remorse. “I told Ruslan about the baby in your belly.”
For a second, I don’t react. Then I laugh. “How can you have told Ruslan? You haven’t seen him in days.”
Caroline shakes her head. “He came over last night.”
I frown, my eyes swiveling towards Josh. “He did, Aunt Em. You were in the bathroom puking.”
Slowly, it starts to sink in. Reagan told Ruslan that I had a baby in my belly.WhileI was throwing up in the bathroom.
Last night.
Oh, God.
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
“I’m really sorry, Auntie Em.” Reagan’s eyes are watery with tears and I realize that my reaction is not helping.
“I-it’s okay, baby,” I insist, even though I’m dying inside. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you mad at me?”
How can I be mad at a five-year-old? Who expects a five-year-old to keep that kind of secret? Or anykind of secret? I should’ve known this was coming sooner or later. I just wish it hadn’t been quite thissoon.
“Of course not. Not mad. Not mad at all.” My voice is a little too high-pitched to be believable. I need to calm the fuck down. “Why don’t you guys head into the kitchen? Lunch is on the counter.”
