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“Come here, m-my little angels,” he says, throwing his arms out wide. “Come give Daddy a kiss.”
The girls hesitate for only a moment before they venture warily into his arms. He tickles them until they relax. Then he starts digging into the pockets of his pants. “Guess what? I brought you two a present.”
“A present!” Reagan trills. “Yay!”
The son of a bitch proceeds to pull out a dirty lozenge that’s been in his pocket for fuck knows how long. He hands it to Reagan.
Caroline stares at him expectantly. “What about me, Daddy?”
He tries to mask his impatience. “Hold on, hold on, hold the hell on.” He keeps digging while Emma, Josh and I stand on the periphery, watching this pathetic fucking attempt at fatherhood.
“Aw, shit, looks like it fell out of my pocket.” He plucks the lozenge out of Reagan’s hand and gives it to Caroline. “Just share, okay?”
“But—”
“Now, go on. Daddy’s got a headache.”
Reagan tries to grab the lozenge from her sister while Ben fights to control the grimace on his face.
Of course, Emma’s right there, already in damage control mode. “Okay, girls, bedtime! Go on. Put your PJs on and get in bed; I’ll be there in a second.”
Both girls give me shy smiles on their way out of the living room. Josh inches closer to me, his eyes fixed on Ben.
Ben’s gaze narrows, but despite the deep downturn in his mouth, he tries to keep his voice upbeat. “J-Man, how was your d-day?”
“Fine.”
He’s not so far gone that he doesn’t realize his son is being intentionally short with him. He glares at Josh, the scowl overtaking his need to put up this half-assed façade for my benefit. He drops it entirely when he looks at me. “Spent the whole day here, did ya?”
“Just got here, actually,” I answer coolly. “I stopped by to take a look at the car.”
Ben laughs before it descends into a cough. “Hey, you wanna help, you can get me a new car like you did Emma.”
Emma’s eyes go wide. “Ben—”
“Emma’s an employee. You are not. She works for what she has. You do not.”
He opens his mouth to argue, then changes his mind and shoves himself back to standing. “I-I’m just gonna… sleep off this headache…” Then he stumbles out of the living room, leaving behind the stink of booze like a toxic cloud.
Emma turns to Josh, her expression confusing me for a second. “Honey…”
Only then do I notice that Josh is shaking. Literallyshaking. Emma reaches out towards him, but before she can stop him, he snatches up the empty glass on the table and flings it at the exposed brick wall. It bursts like fireworks and shards of glass go in every direction.
Based on Emma’s reaction, I’m guessing this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I see it now; I’m not sure how I didn’t before. I thought the wreckage of his life just made Josh sad. But now, when I look closer, I see the undercurrent of anger surging beneath it. That anger runsdeep.
I know the feeling.
Emma ignores the broken glass all over the floor and kneels down in front of Josh. Her voice is calm and soothing when she speaks. “Breathe, Josh. Just breathe. I’m here.”
She pulls him against her. The moment his cheek comes to rest on her shoulder, his body starts quaking with sobs.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, darling,” Emma says, rubbing his back gently. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
“Aunt Emma?” The girls’ voices carry through from their bedroom.
Emma glances at me helplessly. “Can you… can you just stay with Josh? I won’t be five minutes.”
