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I put my hands on his chest and shove him. Hard. He’s so startled, he trips backwards and lands on the armchair. “So you’re spending the money you screwed me over for onyourself?” I screech.
He struggles upright. “Oh, for fuck’s sake—here we go again.”
“Do you know what you just cost me?”
“Don’t worry; you’ll find another fuck buddy soon enough.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve found myself thinking that some murders are justified.For four to live, one must die.
A bubble of crazed laughter bursts out of me. It startles me just as much as it startles Ben. “What the fuck? Are you losing it or some shit?” He picks himself off the sofa and smooths down his Yves St. Laurent t-shirt.
“You know, I just may be losing it. And you are the reason!”
He rolls his eyes. “You really know how to bring the drama, don’t you?”
“You cost us our last lifeline, Ben,” I whisper. “Now, I’m fucked.We’refucked. I don’t have an income anymore!”
He shrugs. “You’ll find something. It just better be soon, ‘cause I saw another pair of shoes that I like.”
“You motherfu—” He grabs my arm all of a sudden and reels me towards him, so close that I can smell his breath.Urgh.Garlic and beer. “Let go of me!”
He glares at me, his eyes shot through with scaly red veins. “I am fuckingdonewith your nagging and bitching. I am the man of this house and I expect you to startrespectingthat.”
He twists my arm just to make his point but, despite the pain, the very idea of respecting Ben seems laughably ridiculous.
Which is why I laugh.
Right in his face.
He drops my arm as though he’s been scalded. His eyes go wide with disbelief. Then his cheeks color and I know the anger isn’t far behind. But still, I can’t stop laughing.
Until—
He slaps the fucking hell out of me.
Gasping, I clutch my cheek. I hadn’t even seen it coming and even now that it hurts, I still don’t quite believe he did it. It stings. No, it’s more than a sting. This isagony—more emotional than physical, although the reopened cut on my forehead from my tumble down the stairs with Remmy adds some blood to the mix.
Still, holding my cheek I look at Ben with my mouth hanging open. But instead of regret, his face is contorted into a mask of black rage. He takes a step towards me and it forces me back.
“I’mthe boss now,” he growls. “I’m done being pushed around, treated like a second-class citizen.”
“You have no right to touch me. Or any of those kids. If you put a hand on me or any of them again, I will—”
My words are swallowed up in another gasp as he snatches me by the front of my blouse and throws me down hard. Except he’s not aiming for the sofa like I did when I pushed him.
He’s aiming for the coffee table.
Which happens to be made of glass.
I lose my voice in shock as I fall backwards. The glass shatters under the force of my weight and I go right through. Pain screams up and down my arms as those cold shards rip my skin open.
Fear clogs in my throat and all the fight leaves my body. Ben stays put, though. He squats down beside the coffee table and looks right at me.
“I don’t give a fuck how you do it, but youwillget yourself another job and youwillsupport me. Work two jobs, clean toilets in the mall, fuck your way through New York—I don’t give a shithowyou do it. I just expect it to be done. And if you don’t start falling in line right fucking now, I’m gonna take those kids and make sure you never see them again.”
I’m shivering when Ben walks out the door, taking the keys to the Mercedes with him. It’s partly because of the fear, partly because of the pain. I’ve been cut up pretty bad by the glass, but it’s nothing compared to the weight on my chest and the knowledge that I’m cornered. And there’s no one I can turn to anymore.
I can’t rely on my parents.
