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“Bax, you nearly died. Do not overexert yourself.”
“I’m sorry.”
I bit my lip, torn between amusement and frustration. Then I reached for the water glass I had by his bed and helped him take a sip.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated as I replaced the glass.
“You plan on continuing, I assume, until I acknowledge your apology.”
“I’m—”
“Baxter!” I threw my hands up and let them fall in my lap. “Stop it. I hear you. Let me check your bandages.”
I rose and leaned over the bed. Just as I peeled back his bandages to ensure the wound wasn’t infected, he said, “Forgive me.”
The hole was healing nicely, packed with some medicinal herbs that Matty swore worked on almost any injury. I replaced the bandage and sat down. “I appreciate the apology.”
“Wanted to tell you . . . at your house. Before I was shot.”
Two days, but it felt like a lifetime. “I heard you tell my father you love me.” And that I was worth dying for, which couldn’t be true. Yet he’d turned his back on his enemy, knowing there was a loaded pistol trained on him. “You also gave me the evidence you collected. I cannot believe you relented after all this time.”
“I would . . . do anything for you.”
“Just because you didn’t ruin him doesn’t mean you are absolved of wrong-doing.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, sakes alive.” I pushed off the chair and started pacing. “Don’t say it again. It won’t make any difference. I can’t forgive you.”
He struggled to sit up and winced. I rushed over and helped him back down to the mattress. “Stay still or else you’ll reopen that wound.”
“Have to . . . make you listen.” Sweat dotted his forehead, his breath labored. “Please.”
“I’m listening.” I wiped his brow with a cool cloth. “I heard almost every word you said to my father.”
“Belle, I need you.”
Was he in pain? Uncomfortable? Hungry? I swept a lock of his hair off his face with my fingertips. “What is it? Do you need laudanum? Broth?”
“No, I needyou. Here. Always.”
My chest ached. Hurt and confusion battled with happiness over his declaration. And a big part of me wanted to stay. I loved this man, and nearly losing him showed me how precious our time was here on this Earth.
But I couldn’t.
I had to decide what I wanted in life. Not what my father wanted or what Bax wanted. This was aboutme.
Nearly my whole existence had been spent alone, locked away. And both of the men I’d trusted had let me down. I couldn’t rely on my judgment, clearly. I had to stand on my own, gain life experience, before attempting to trust anyone ever again.
“I can’t.” I choked out the words and stepped away from the bed.
His fingers fisted the coverlet, his body tensing. “Don’t go. Please.”
My heart squeezed. The agony in his expression shredded my insides, but I knew I was doing the right thing. I couldn’t stay. And it was probably better to leave now, while he was still too weak to stop me.
A cowardly move, but Bax had a habit of kidnapping people.
I drank in his rough, beautiful features for the last time. No man would ever mean more to me. And though I was angry with him, I was also grateful. He’d shown me so much in our short time together.
