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“Because then maybe I’d be able to see you as a man and not some kind of rodan! I mean, you couldn’t even dress properly. You looked like you’ve been dragged through Vhoig backwards!”
“I’m sorry, Father.” Apologizing to my parents has become uncomfortable. I am not sure why. Maybe because my apologies never satisfy them. “I won’t do it again.”
“No you won’t! Because if you do, I’m renouncing you as my son! Maybe you’ll do something with your life then!”
I have a sudden vision of grabbing hold of my father and choking him. Instead, I turn around and walk away from him.
I walk until I get to the gates of the estate, when sudden joy overtakes me, and I start running down the hill.
It is not a particularly high hill but running down it feels like flying, and I used to love doing it as a child.
Then I make my way into Vhoig.
My father’s words ring in my head as I walk.
“Maybe you’ll do something with your life then!”
I think of all the things I have tried.
The first thing I tried when I came of age was running an antiques and bookstore. It should have been a success as Vhoig is a trade city, and I sourced my products from all over Protheka.
I worked fifteen hours a day, painting the shop, building bookshelves, and sanding and polishing down tables so that everything could be displayed as lovingly as they could be.
I could have gotten some of the mansion’s zagfers to do it, but I wanted to prove to my parents that I was hardworking.
Before opening day, I asked my mother to send word out to her friends. She assured me that she would.
I handmade fifty invitations and handed one to my father and brother.
No one showed up.
My mother’s response was simple.
“You don’t really think you can make a success of it, do you? I thought it went without saying that we’ll support you if you have a successful venture. I didn’t want to waste my time.”
I tried again and again after that.
Eventually I stopped trying.
When I look up, I realize that I’ve walked right to the boundary of the Red District. I can see the lights pulsating from my favorite club.
What are you going to do?
You can’t keep this up forever.
You’re going to kill yourself drinking, or just kill yourself.
I know that I need to make a decision about my life, and I need to make it soon.
Because I have this sinking feeling that I don’t have that much time left.
3
SALINA
“You need to think about this carefully.” There has been a warning in Callista’s voice ever since I started talking about my mission. “You need to prepare properly. And you need to be more patient.”
I know she means well, and I love her for it, but right now, Callista’s cautiousness is driving me insane.
