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I grip the steering wheel with white-knuckle force as I drive, my mind a clusterfuck of confusion.
It’s 3:00 a.m. How long was he lying on the floor before someone found him?
Was he calling for help and nobody came?
My stomach twists with regret. Here I was, having the best night ever, tucked safely in bed with Juliet, and he was lying on the floor in a cold nursing home.
The traffic light turns yellow, and I drive straight through. I glance up to the rearview mirror to see if a camera flashes.
I drive faster.
I’m sorry, we did all that we could.
She didn’t make it.
The road blurs, and I wipe my tears with the back of my forearm. Suddenly I’m a fifteen-year-old boy again, reliving my worst nightmare.
I’m sorry. We did all that we could.
I can hardly see the road anymore; I angrily wipe my eyes again.
I speed up.
We just need to get on with it, son. It’s just you and me now.
His words of wisdom come back to me, yet they bring me no comfort.
“Don’t leave me, Dad.” I screw up my face in tears. “Not yet. I’m not ready. You can’t leave me yet.”
After the longest drive in history, I finally pull into the hospital. I park in a spot reserved for doctors and run inside at top speed. The security guard looks me up and down.
“My father was just brought in by ambulance?”
“Head to the emergency department.” He points down the corridor. “Follow the red arrows.”
“Thank you.” I run down the corridor and up to the check-in desk. “Hello. My father was just brought in by ambulance.”
She gives me a kind smile. It’s only then I realize what I must look like.
“Hello,” she says calmly. “What was his name, dear?”
“Bernard James.”
She types his name in and then reads her computer screen and twists her lips as if not liking what she’s reading.
“What is it?” I stammer. “What’s happened?”
“Just take a seat, sweetheart,” she says softly. “Someone will be out to get you soon.”
“Is he okay?”
“I can’t see any information, only that he’s arrived. I do have a note here for me to let them know when next of kin arrives. What was your name, sir?”
I stare at her. “Henley James.”
“Take a seat.” She gestures over to the chairs in the waiting area. “I’ll let them know you’re here.”
“Okay.”
