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Stepping back, I grab a plate of pancakes I just finished stacking and slide them in front of him, passing the bottle of syrup with a stern look. “Don’t make a mess.”
Noah rolls his eyes, a playful little smirk on his lips. “Okay, Blair-Bear.”
He digs in, moaning and groaning obscenely as he does the exact opposite of what I asked, syrup dripping down his chin and all over his t-shirt.
I switch off the stove and plate the bacon, setting it just out of Noah’s reach. He frowns at me and pouts his lip out. “Bacon.”
“Clean yourself up,” I say. “And you can bring the bacon to the couch for cuddles.”
That seems to light him up, and he jumps from his chair to the kitchen sink. You’d think he was an overactive twelve year old, but Noah’s only a year younger than me at twenty-two. He’s just more excitable than most about food and attention. Kind of like a puppy.
“I get to eat the bacon and cuddle you, right? Bacon isn’t very cuddly.”
“Yes, Noah. Now, c’mon. Don’t you have a shit ton of lectures today?”
Noah grumbles but plucks the plate of bacon and stuffs one in his mouth, looking like a petulant toddler. He has a case of perpetual bedhead with his honey-blond hair and rings under his pale blue eyes because he’s had insomnia for years. Sometimes he’ll doze while we’re tangled on the couch or one of our beds, but it’s never for long. He says he’s seen doctors about it, but it’s too much of a hassle to keep up.
Caffeine and sugar are what keep him going, which is why he stops to crush a piece of bacon on top of what’s left of his pancakes and scarf down a few more bites before meeting me on the couch.
I just accept the sticky, syrupy mess as he wraps around me; I have to shower before I head out anyway.
“Blair-Bear cuddles are the best,” he mutters, leaving a sticky trail along my skin as he noses up my jaw. “Can I have kisses, too?”
I chuckle at the way his limbs cling to me like a koala, insinuating that saying no will lead to a very pouty roommate, and I just can’t have that.
“If you want them.”
Noah lets out a yip and presses his lips to mine, sure and steady.
“You taste like mint,” he says, licking at his mouth.
“And you taste like a mess, mister. Did you want to kiss or not?”
“Hmm, yes, please.”
When he kisses me this time, I gently card my hand through his hair, enjoying the soft mewls he makes as he opens up and lets his tongue play lazily with mine. Neither of us gets hard, and there’s no touching other than soft, affectionate caresses.
There’s nothing sexual between us. Noah enjoys touching and kissing, but has had problems finding a connection with someone who won’t ask him for more: physically or emotionally.
And I… I didn’t know I needed this kind of touch until we stumbled upon the mutual desire not long after we started rooming together.
There’s no pressure to go further, no need to have more. If the urge for sex pops up, that’s what I have Grindr for. And if I want something a little more intimate…
I stop that train of thought in its broken tracks. There isn’t room in my life for a romantic relationship. I have my hands full taking care of me, Shiloh, and Dad. Add in work and school, and there just isn’t enough of me to share with someone else.
I think of Atlas last night, of how deeply he cares for Shiloh and how I’d never admit how envious of my brother I am. I have Noah, and I love him as much as I can love a friend, but what Shiloh and Atlas have is special.
The way he looked at me last night—confused and curious—I don’t know what to make of it. I wanted to stay and take care of him, take care of them both, but I have a mentally and physically demanding day ahead and I needed the sleep.
They’ll take care of each other. They always do.
“Are you working today?” Noah asks when we pull apart for air, my lips tingling from losing track of time.
“No. Going to see my dad.”
Noah makes a face, scrunching his nose up like a disgruntled kitten. He’s met the man one time, and after some of the stories I’ve reluctantly shared, he’s not too keen on a repeat. Which is fair. My dad is an… an asshole would be putting it lightly.
But he’s family.
